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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   2661 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for February 3, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I recently found out another Mottizen likes to dance. Curious if anyone else dances seriously?

For myself I mostly do partner dance - blues & swing right now though I used to compete in ballroom.

I've got a plan to dip my toe into salsa classes and other non-formal partner dances. What's holding me back is I'm making a concerted effort to clear out the backlog of loose ends accumulated from sub-diligent general living before I take up new projects and hobbies.

The primary reason I want to try partner dancing is that I've spent years going to clubs, parties, raves, festivals and other gigs and I'm fed up of the atomisation and informality. No matter the size of the crowd or the style of the music the audience were 99% locked in to focusing on the performer over the music or the other attendees, and any dancing that did happen was either self-conscious freestyling, lesser or greater degrees of going berserk, or thinly veiled dry humping.

Since you're here and it sounds like you've got some breadth of experience, how would you describe the differences in the type of people who are involved with the different styles? Any hobby drama or other funny/memorable stories?

Hah I have a ton of stories. From my experience on east coast US, Latin style dances are generally a bit more conservative and can have an element of snobbishness or elitism for new leads. A lot of competing for female attention.

Blues is the most left or woke and is harder to get into because it’s all freestyle. If you’re generally more traditional I’d recommend learning east or west coast swing, maybe trying both and going with your preference. West coast tends to have more modern music and younger folks though.

Best memories of dance are at the weekend exchanges/competitions. I’ve danced naked at a campground shower with beautiful women, stayed up until 8am dancing the whole time then getting breakfast, hooked up with women I had just met dancing that night, competed and won grants for hundreds of dollars to go to dance camps, it goes on and on. If you can find a group of close friends to travel with to these events I’d highly recommend it, easily some of the best times of my life.

That being said there’s also a ton of drama. I’d definitely avoid sleeping with too many people or dating around too much initially unless you know the person well and are serious about them. It can get real awkward and partner dance communities are somewhat small/insular unless you’re in a huge metro area.

I think the best part of dance for me though is the confidence it brings you. As a man, dancing regularly really changed the way I walk, carry myself, and interact with people, especially women. It helped me connect with my physical side which is something I find seriously lacking in modern society.

Competing for female attention in latin dance totally fits my model. Here's my completely uninformed stereotypes of open classes (I assume the competitive level acts as a filter), please correct or confirm.

Rock'n'roll/Ceroc/Lindyhop: High metabolism neurodivergents with that weird blend of woke politics and retro aesthetics.

Salsa/swing: Casual singles. Divorcees dancing with unmarried tech workers and suave manlets.

Kizomba: As above but the divorcees are older, hornier and outnumber the men who are scared off by the more direct sensuality.

Tango: Trad types who like rules and following them. Etiquettists.

Ballroom: More stable relationshippers, enjoy the glamour, inclined to take the activity seriously and with all the conflicts that follow.

Street: DDR variety Asians, retired b-boys, female actual-dance-students polishing their moves.

Not sneering, I could probably fit in with nearly all of them to some degree.

Given that the activity involves dancing all night how pervasive are drugs? What's the drinking culture like? I guess the need to both be coordinated and coordinate with another person puts a natural ceiling on that aspect.

Drugs are mainly just booze and some pot. Most people are sober though as far as I can tell, albeit I’m usually drunk. People don’t care as long as you’re a solid dancer, although smoking and smelling like cigs/pot is usually frowned upon.

These seem to check out for me. I’ll add that ballroom, blues and lindy tend to have an older crowd.

Extra question, and one that might prompt another story or two: What's the - ettiquette probably isn't the right word - concerning involuntary erections? Take a closed position dance style, add an attractive woman, lower the lights and top off with sustained synchronised rhythmic movement... You don't need to be a rocket scientist to predict where that can land.

And vice versa women. Natural physical responses don't discriminate.

Yeah... the general response is that people don't mention it but then don't talk to you or dance with you again hah. Luckily I've avoided that but I have heard stories of other guys.

Unfortunately you're screwed if you get an erection! I'd recommend just trying to not go into closed or something until more comfortable.

Agreed with not rushing into closed. After dancing for a few weeks, the downstairs head stops going "oh, someone's close to us? TIME FOR SEX" and learns to chill out.

It is pretty clear to the women and to the other dudes when a new guy shows up just to pull — he gives off vibes.

Less of a problem than you might expect: even close-style dances tend not to have things that close down there.

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