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I was catching up on the quality contribution threads for last month (yes, I'm very late...) and I ran across this post from @Amadan.
I found this part specifically was interesting in the broader context of the discussion:
One of these things is not like the other.
For men:
For women:
Is it just me or is this scale a bit tilted?
(Apologies for responding so late and in a top-level comment; I didn't want this getting buried in a weeks old thread.)
You can diet and exercise to be slim and as toned as necessary, but if you're horse-faced or just don't have that 'current standards of what constitutes attractive' features, it won't help. "Plain Jane" is a term, for a reason. It doesn't necessarily mean "short, fat, otherwise objectionable", mostly "not hot".
Men and women do judge things differently; yeah you'll be 20-something for ten years, but then you turn 30 from 29 and now suddenly you're a hag? Leo DiCaprio is probably the extreme here, but note his rotating list of girlfriends who get swapped out for a younger model when they age out of what he clearly deems an acceptable age range, while he continues to get older (seems he's been with the current squeeze a whole three years! Just another three years to go before she hits 30 and we'll see if the relationship continues or not).
This is just my personal opinion and there probably aren't any rigorous surveys on the topic, but I strongly disagree. Skinniness is among the largest components in a woman's attractiveness (though probably rivaled or surpassed by the skin elasticity of youth), and having a big chin or a "horse face" (or, for that matter, large breasts) pales in comparison.
Agreed. Unless the woman looks like the guy in "Mask," if she is fit and in her fertile years, she'll have lots of male interest.
It's an interesting fact about modern America that 99% of women can choose to have a period of 15 to 20 years in which they can make an excellent living off of their looks alone by being an exotic dancer. Or if they don't want to go that route, 99% of women can obtain a lifelong financial commitment from a man of substantial means.
This is, of course, untrue. 99% of women can probably bang a man of substantial means, but that's not the same thing at all.
I disagree. I regularly work out at the gym and see just how attractive a plain woman can be if (1) she is in her early 20s; and (2) she is in great shape. Such a woman would have no problem getting a marriage proposal from some lonely but successful tech bro.
No. Young, thin, athletic women with excellent social skills, in an economically vibrant area might, I suppose. I've never known anyone like that, the tech bro is probably lucky to have her.
In theory, this issue should not be extremely hard to test. You create an online dating profile of a young woman who is plain in terms of facial attractiveness but in excellent physical shape. You say in the profile that you are interested only in financially successful marriage-minded men and that you will entertain only detailed replies which make clear that the man is both financially successful and marriage minded. I'm pretty confident that such a dating profile would get lots of serious interest. I take it you disagree?
I don't have a very clear image of either a 2nd percentile female face, or of what the app scene is like, but the latter sounds pretty dire from reports, so sure, she might get some serious interest there. Or LLM approximations thereof. And then if she generally behaves well, doesn't ghost serious men, makes good choices, is actually compatible with a man who wants marriage, then she might in fact find a well off husband. Or maybe he would string her along for a few years hoping he could do better but still enjoying the sex, and eventually they would break up, and they would be both be a couple of years older, but it would mean more to her than to him.
It's not that the marriage and family version of the story never happens. It's just that there are a lot of ifs and uncertainties, a lot of places where it might not work out, after investing quite a bit of effort. Which happens to men as well, but I'm not arguing that men have it easier.
So my argument isn't that she won't get interest, or even a relationship, but that many of those 99 thin but ugly women will just end up in a relationship that wastes their youth without obtaining a commitment, unless they have a lot else going for them. Especially if the man is sensible and realizes that if they marry and have kids, her body will change, and she will probably become fatter and more sedentary over time.
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