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Notes -
Heard a friend of a friend describing how her girlfriend had a string of tempestuous relationships with guys that involved emotional turmoil and hot sex ("like, against the wall") in equal measure. Now the girlfriend is getting married to a guy who she says makes her happy all the time but the highs are not as high - she rationalizes this by saying that she's not settling, it's the highs with Chad only seemed high because the lows were so low. Myself, I'm not so sure - I guess I can only hope that her fiance doesn't know Chad made her feel. Bros, I don't feel so good...
Do men not have the same thing?
Men also have that borderline girlfriend, you know, the one that's an artist, where the sex was hot af but the relationship was otherwise tumultuous and they had to stop seeing them because they kept getting fall down intoxicated in public while out by themselves. Eventually they "settle" for the girl who doesn't have the mental illness and drug abuse issues but it's true they don't like to dirtytalk as much.
I guess presumably some men have the same thing but still - feeling that your wife is a step down from an ex in terms of raw attraction, and then telling people about it, seems pretty depressing. My male friends haven't told me that they feel this way, at least.
By "sex was hot af" I don't mean "the person was more attractive", but rather "sex with crazy/sociopathic people is exhilerating".
Yeah. I imagine people would say russian roulette (or any unhealthy, high-stakes gambling) is exhilarating, but that doesn't mean a gambler is not being true to themselves if they decide to drop the unhealthy habit.
That said, I can easily understand a steady girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband being insecure about the idea that maybe the unhealthiness is not inherent to the hotness, and that the person they see as their soulmate is gonna drop them when they find someone that's both exhilarating to be with AND not destructive.
Well, what's the actual difference between someone who marries you that thinks you're perfect versus someone that marries you because you check a lot of boxes but not all of them? The person who thinks you're perfect could still discover some other person that's better than you in some way and leave you for them?
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