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PaperclipPerfector  17d ago (text post)   3153 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for February 13, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Paging @Closedshop.

I decided I need a cologne. My problem is, I hate so many basic scents I have no idea what to look for. To be more specific:

  • I hate vetiver. My wife uses essential oil of vetiver for medicinal purposes, and it smells like someone poured water on a burning birch log.
  • I hate patchouli. My wife had both Messe de Minuit and Patchouly by Etro, and they smelled like a damp, musty, mildewy cellar.
  • I hate... I don't know what's inside Pot Pourri by Santa Maria Novella, but it smells like healthcare. Like some 19th century ointment.
  • UPD Turns out there was a full bottle of Penhaligon's Racquets Formula in my wife's perfume closet that my mom got me a long time ago, and... I hate it as well.

Practically everything from your post features either patchouli or vetiver. I have no idea where to start if I can't stand either of them.

Smells I like: sea, pines (and conifers in general), pipe tobacco, coffee, citrus, chocolate, cherry, vanilla, rain, wild mushrooms, leather.

You caught me at a time bit of a busy time, so I won't be writing full reviews, but I'll suggest a few for you to start off with. I'll try to hit the notes you like and avoid the ones you don't, but I don't know what climate you are in or what situations you're going to be wearing these in, so you need to try these to see if you like them. I also don't have encyclopedic knowledge so I can't hit everything. These are assuming unlimited (within reason) budget:

Tom Ford would be a great starting point: Tobacco Vanille, Noire Extreme, Fucking Fabulous, and Tuscan Leather are some that I think fit into your criteria. Tom Ford is an established house, so everyone will recognize the name, if that matters to you.

Coffee Break from Maison Margiela technically has Vetiver as a note, but I don't detect it at all. It's vanilla-y, creamy, and sweet. It's not a coffee bomb, but I can definitely smell the note. I like this in fall or winter.

Stronger with You line from Armani is another you might like. Intensely and Parfum don't include notes that you dislike, and both include vanilla as one of the main notes. Mainly for cool to cold weather.

Nautica Voyage is actually a pretty interesting pick for you. Smells of citrus and cucumbers, and you can get it pretty much anywhere for $15-20. Completely inoffensive, and you can go a little heavier with sprays.

Baccarat Rouge 540 from MFK is heavy, syrupy, sweetness. Technically leans feminine, but I'd say it's unisex. It's very strong so go lighter on the sprays when in warmer weather.

Bleu de Chanel L'exclusive is essentially BDC Leather edition. Pricy, but a good alternative for every day wear. It's quite nice in my opinion.

Millésime Impérial from Creed is ocean fruits. Smells to me like a summer day at the beach when I have my sunscreen on with a nice watermelon slice. If the price tag makes your eyes water like it makes mine water, try Milestine from Armaf. It's a very close clone (95%) and it costs less than 1/10.

Please feel free to give me feedback as well. If you tried these, let me know what you liked/didn't like. I'm just an enthusiast, not an expert.

Thanks for finding time to reply, man, I appreciate it!

It's interesting how my list of tester bottles that I ordered last night and yours are almost completely disjoint. The only thing in common they have is Baccarat Rouge 540, and only because I've added it to the cart on a lark. Here's what will arrive for personal testing soon:

  • Gypsy Water by Byredo - tried it on a test strip in the store, loved everything. The price made my eyes water, though, no self-respected gypsy would pay this much for anything.
  • Hero by Burberry - didn't get to try it out in the store, one had its tester bottle stolen, the other had a completely dry one, looks like a popular choice. Supposed to be a dry woody fragrance, right up my alley.
  • Autumn Vibes by MMM - another woody and woodsy one. I thought about checking out Coffee Break, too, but I'll explain below.
  • Encre Noire by Lalique - tried it on a test strip in the store, quite liked it, was surprised to learn that it's technically very vetivery. Will have to wait and see how it feels on me.
  • Midnight Musk & Amber by Jo Malone - trying a woody/animalistic mix, since my wife will probably be unimpressed by a purely woody vibe.
  • Escentric 05 by Escentric Molecules - probably the only fragrance that wasn't explicitly wintery, but I wanted to try something that was both woody and artificial.
  • Baccarat Rouge 540 by Francis Kurkdjian - no idea what's coming, just added another tester to the cart.

I haven't added any blue/summer scents to my first list, as I wanted something for winter wear. I also learned that I don't really like obvious sweet notes on test strips, so that excluded a lot of fragrances from my first shortlist. Maybe I'll come back to them later depending on my experience with the 540.

No idea why I skipped Tom Ford altogether, though. I guess I can always include it in the next batch of testers.

I really think Tom Ford can be your house. A lot of their masculine scents should be up your alley considering the restrictions.

I really hope I can provide some feedback by the end of this week, otherwise, I'll have to come back to this topic after Lent

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