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One interesting thing about status is, even high status in a small obscure social scene can get men laid. Being a singer in a local band, for example, or a bartender at a popular bar. There's something about just having high status relative to the people immediately around you that seems to sometimes attract women, even if the guy is not at all high status in the context of his society as a whole.
This can sometimes be kind of a trap for some men, I think. Having relative status in a small social scene often isn't really the best thing for a man in the long run. Being a big shot in a small group made up mostly of drunks, drug users, and people with emotional disorders can get you laid, but it's probably not what you want to spend your life doing.
Another interesting thing I've noticed about attraction is the huge importance that being in a good mood can have. I've sometimes been approached by women (or, at other times, had women make it extremely easy for me to start a conversation with them, which amounts to almost the same thing) when I was in a good mood or just relatively uninhibited. Whereas I don't think I've ever been approached by a woman when I was in a bad mood and/or "stuck in my own head".
Another big one is, not surprisingly, eye contact. It seems to require the engine of mood to drive it, but if that engine is activated then eye contact can convey the energy with remarkable intensity. There have been a handful of times when I felt extremely "on" mood-wise and sexually, just feeling erotically powerful in a relaxed way for whatever reason, and it's like I had a superpower, I could just have fluid sexual "conversations" with women through eyes alone, like one sees in some movies, and so I could very quickly go from zero to making out with some of them, feeling them up, and so on.
It would be awesome if I knew how to put myself into that mood whenever I felt like it, but alas so far I only know that it seems to become more likely if I am genuinely in a good mood and also seems to become more likely if I have been deliberately trying to flirt with women in the recent past thus being I suppose more attuned than usual to that side of existence. One of the interesting things about such experiences is the present-moment awareness. When highly charged like that, you are not seeking a goal of sex, the actual in-the-moment experience of powerful eye contact and the accompanying intense human connection with the woman is so satisfying that everything just feels natural rather than goal-seeking. Unsurprisingly, the natural state feels much better and seems to "work" better (though working better is not the point) than the goal-seeking one. The experience of communicating with intense erotic eye contact is extremely pleasant in its own right. Maybe this is just how naturally sexually uninhibited people normally flirt, but for people like me who started off shy earlier in life and had to work at learning to flirt it's more intermittent.
Every time I've had a woman approach me in the past 5 years, she's either doing something bafflingly shitty (asking for my number while the guy she's on a date with is standing right there), turns out to not be single (her Instagram is full of posts about how in love she is with her "wife," a bald man who wears a dress), or sends a bunch of overly-affectionate and increasingly sexually-explicit text messages, then mentions being on her period for some reason, then ghosts the day of the date. Or within two minutes of conversation, she manages to mention how much she hates white people (we're both white), how men are all such trash Amirite, how such-and-such film is misogynistic, and how great some book is because it's so queer. Go fucking talk to a brown gay woman then if you hate everything about me so fucking much. Also, since when is it okay to harass a stranger in a public setting? If I flirt back, will you suddenly remember the rules and accuse me of something?
So by now just having a woman talk to me unprompted puts me in a bad mood on the spot.
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There is a secret method, invented at the dawn of civilisation, that accomplishes this.
I'm dense. Do you mean alcohol?
Yes.
I extensively experimented with that method and in my experience, it's been a dud. Some limited use can help at first, but the nervous system quickly adapts to the substance and becomes dependent on it, at which point the effect on socializing is more often to suppress one's vitality and make one dull than it is to create a sexual glow. And the negative effects on health are really bad.
My experiences with alcohol are that it makes me a sad, weeping drunk about half the time and an utterly silly, horny drunk the other half. That roulette wheel can be fun with an intimate partner you already want to have sex with, but I don't think it would be sensible with a stranger.
Alcohol does not, however, make me more social, except with people I'm already likely to be social with. So I might be more talkative to a friend, but I wouldn't be more likely to be socially gregarious to a third party or a date I barely know. And at the point where I'd consumed enough alcohol to get to that point, I would already be so impaired that I came off as uncoordinated and slurring even to myself, which probably means other people would perceive me as mad drunk.
I also tried phenibut once, before the FDA cracked down on it, and as best I could tell it had exactly 0 effect.
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The precise date of that invention is controversial. My understanding is that "at the dawn of civilisation" is the late estimate.
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I was, once. I was in high school, in speech and debate, and I was sitting alone at a table in between rounds staring at my phone. A girl approached me and asked for my number, and I was so surprised that I went, "uh... why?" She responded, "well, you look like you're alone over here so I thought you might want someone to talk to." I can't remember what I said next but it was basically some version of, "no thanks?" I probably came off as a massive asshole, but I was running on 4 hours of poor sleep (as all debate tournaments go) and my brain was fried.
I couldn't tell you whether this was actually intended to be a flirt or not, but if so, it... wasn't a great one. I was actually years later, after college, that I realized, "oh crap, that was possibly an approach."
Yeah, college is pretty much one of the best times to meet a spouse. You're around many single young people your age. I actually asked a girl out using the flowgorithm program in my intro to programming course. Didnt go anywhere, but if your still in school - its definitely a decent pool.
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