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Sounds like a classic BPD story? Which is to say, yes, us men often make poor relationship choices as well.
Well, love isn’t really a rational phenomenon itself unless you want to analyze arranged marriages. When I was growing up, the overwhelming majority of relationships and the marriages that grew out of them with my older peers were ‘all’ semi-arranged relationships. And they’re still happily married to this day. The ones who floundered and did the worst were always those who did it themselves and ignored the independent advice and judgment of others.
In trad society, arranging marriages is job for the old women of the family (with assistance of professional matchmakers when family is of means).
The worst horror tales we see in 19th century classic French literature and modern third world happen when father driven mad by greed (or desire for noble title) messes with these things.
That's an interesting take. I've warmed up to arranged marriages as I grew more trad for the reasons Tretiak outlined, but couldn't quite endorse them because of the horror stories you mentioned. This does feel like the missing piece.
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I think anyone who's introspective and tries being thoughtful would come to the conclusion that young adults aren't reliable actors in their best interest in this space. Forget the specific matter for the moment and think even in more general terms. Just looking back 20 years ago I can see so many things today where I say to myself "God how ignorant I was," and today think 20 years from now, how ignorant I'll be right now. The two ideologies of individual happiness and personal choice that dominate civil society today aren't worth the costs people pay when they make the 'wrong' decisions. And that's their words, not mine. When I walk around here, I don't see a lot of happy people. I see people swallowed up by digital distractions, quick dopamine hits, but nothing that's fulfilling and enduring in any sort of long-term way.
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