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Is there anything to the stereotype about women and backseat driving? I had not given the issue much thought until I read this in the Babylon Bee:
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https://babylonbee.com/news/look-out-shouts-female-astronaut-as-orion-gets-within-5000-miles-of-moon
When I read this article, I was immediately reminded of both my mother and my ex-wife. Despite many polite and gentle reminders that unsolicited advice on the road is generally distracting and unhelpful, neither of them are that great at resisting the urge to backseat drive.
Is backseat driving really a gendered issue? And if so, what is it about female psychology which makes this so common among women? Perhaps it's just more common for couples to go places with the man driving; that if women were driving it would be men who are stereotypical backseat drivers. From personal experience, I can say that neither my father nor myself do much in the way of backseat driving.
I am asking this question in the culture war thread because female nature is a culture war issue; there is a societal taboo against putting women as a group in a negative light. I am interested in peoples' thoughts independent of the taboo.
Edit: Having had a chance to think about this, I have a hypothesis to throw out:
Backseat driving is driven by an instinctive desire to assert control over a situation. Thus, both men and women have a tendency to backseat drive since pretty much everyone has this kind of instinct. But there are a couple of differences: First is the social expectation for the man in a couple to drive. Second, women are much more averse than men to taking responsibility. The result is that rather than back-seat drive, a man is much more likely to just drive.
Here's a thought experiment: Suppose a couple is driving along and the woman starts back-seat driving. The man might say something like "Ok, why don't you drive?" (And this really happens.) In these types of situations, the woman typically declines the offer. By contrast, a man is more likely to say something like "ok, sounds great, pull over and let's switch places."
I drive 99% of the time and my wife has never offered commentary on my driving. On other people's driving, on the scenery, on a nearby bird, yes.
My parents have driving as a team sport. My mom will say "you've got green" if the light has been green for a moment and my stepdad hasn't hit the gas yet (probably because he was looking a bird), but it's a neutral tone and not a "you're doing it wrong" tone. Same for the "car coming" comments when they come to a stop sign and she looks to the right while he looks to the left. The latter is especially helpful at something like a T intersection when the sightlines are blocked and someone could come zooming along with very little advance warning.
I hate this for many reasons. First, just relax and sit back instead of blocking my view with your ugly head. Second, you do not know what I want to do, if I want to move slowly to let some pedestrian pass or start quickly to move before he reaches the crossing etc. Also, I am the one driving - your unhelpful and inconsistent advice is worth shit when of course sometimes you sleep or play with your cell phone etc.
I deliberately also do not do it when my wife is driving even if she sometimes asks for advice for exactly the same reason. She is the one 100% concentrated on driving. I cannot evaluate the situation in a second she gives me when she asks. I'd rather nap or think about Roman Empire or something instead of being useless backseat driver. We are not in a race where you need a navigator. If you cannot process the information then slow down. If you are to tired to do even basics such as turning left, then let's switch and let me drive.
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This is very sweet. I hope we are like this when we get old.
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