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Why do a lot of women not like acknowledging the practical aspects of dating? By this I mean that women appear to be put off by me simply discussing:
Of course I'm not discussing these topic with women I'm trying to actually date, I'm not that autistic. But if you're trying to actually find a partner to settle down and have kids with, how do you not take all of these into account? Not only does it reek of impracticality, but on an even deeper level, it appears that any attempt to practically model the dating world at all produces a negative female reaction.
(Maybe it's because some of these women don't ever intend on having kids and therefore don't ever have to be realistic about dating.)
#1 and #2 are directly about modeling dating as a short-term transaction. #3 is indirectly the same: ime, professing deep interest in women's biological clocks covers a strictly penile preference for youthful bodies.
But family formation and successful childrearing is a very long-term project requiring daily emotional, not just financial, investment on the scale of ~30-70 years, if you take grandchildren's success into account. Women are aware on some level that the costs will be borne by them on this time-scale. But the only remotely reliable way to ensure similar long-term male commitment is through intimacy, strong emotional ties and deep social affiliation.
It's pointless to talk through dating-market fantasies as though rational self-interest could somehow be massaged into intimate pair-bonding. Better just to filter out people with that frame, because they're not looking for the same thing.
Let's be realistic, a husband who's initially obsessed with looks, SMV and biological clock is somebody who gets bored after a couple of years of sex, is mad about inevitable body changes with pregnancy, won't coparent kids or co-maintain the home, then runs off with the now-higher-SMV secretary 15 years in, leaving his wife permanently companionless with decimated career prospects and the burden of coaching the kids through the trust issues he created. Nothing a man could offer within a few dates is worth the prospect of single-grandmothering the early children of your damaged daughter between shifts at a shitty midlife job, or caring for your disabled child alone while your husband fights your child-support claims in court. Who needs that?
I tend to disagree with this for a couple of reasons. First, pretty much everyone is obsessed with looks, SMV and (indirectly) biological clock. Perhaps not at a conscious level, but certainly at a subconscious level.
Second, the trope of the man who ditches his wife for some young hottie is kind of like stranger kidnappings and police shootings of unarmed black men. These things get a lot of attention because they resonate with peoples' emotions but in reality they're pretty unusual. Most men in middle age simply don't have the combination of looks, social status, and wealth which would allow them be attractive to young women. Most young women don't want a guy who is balding; out-of-shape; broke because he's paying alimony and child support; etc. Of course it's different if the guy is highly successful, is in good shape; etc. ;or if he's mediocre but the woman has a thing for older guys; but these are both very unusual.
I do agree that if a man is constantly using buzzwords like "SMV," it's a red flag that he might be part of a certain online subculture which is hostile towards women. However, I'm pretty sure that most men who take part in that subculture are careful not to use that kind of language in their ordinary lives. So I would guess that in practice, if a man is talking like this in his regular life, it's more of a red flag that he has autistic tendencies. Because he doesn't grasp that in regular life, the social rule is that you pretend that you are a blue-pilled normie.
This seems like unfalsifiable typical-minding. Glancing at the world outside TheMotte suggests that many men do, indeed, have rich interior lives, are capable of deep emotional attachment and lifelong, mutually self-giving marital love and commitment.
Then there are the men memorably described as "likes boobs, but doesn't like women." Those are the ones who tend to develop elaborate theories of dating as free-market exchange.
"On the bright side, if your husband is mid enough, maybe in middle age he'll hang around to treat you with cold contempt while he dreams of the affairs he's too unattractive to have!"
"The horror! The horror!"
Not horrifying, but, like, "Hey, I have a high sex drive, so let me stick my dick in you right now so I can also make your life a living hell in 20 years..."? Who opts for that once it's made explicit?
That you would describe the situation as a "living hell" when it would be something, if not approaching heaven, certainly in the same neighborhood to it, to vast swathes of humanity is what I find fascinating here.
Well yeah, we know guys only think with their dicks and a tight wet hole is a tight wet hole and that's all that matters, but women need to be smarter or else they make dumb decisions then end up with two teenage kids and regrets over "why the hell did I marry this guy, the red flags were there all along".
I think the woman in this story is over-sensitive and probably was at least 50% responsible for the marriage breaking down, particularly as she went full steam ahead to marry the guy and put up with him all those years, but it's the fruits of "let me stick my dick in you in trade for making your life hell".
Everyone is better off if they take the red flags into account and do not allow themselves to be led along by their dick or womb, delete as applicable.
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