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That’s just the classic cope and shaming tactic to try and salvage women’s Wonderfulness and #BossBabe status. It’s definitely not that women want a daddy they can choose; it’s that men are just too shitty and insecure to handle taller, “better,” etc. women.
Men are fairly agnostic to female height, in contrast to the colossal female preference for tall men. I don’t doubt there’s some segment of men who prefer shorter women so that he’s taller than her (when she’s in heels, that is, as that’s how women see height). However, there’s also a large segment of men who prefers taller-than-average women because he likes long legs on chicks or because he doesn’t want to doom a potential short son.
And ultimately, all else equal, men will look to expend less time and social capital on taller women, as men know with greater probability taller-than-him-when-she’s-in-heels women will reject and perhaps gloatingly dab upon them.
It’s telling that men don’t leave well-poisoning quips in their online dating bios like “don’t bother if you’re over [height],” whereas it’s pretty common for women to disclaim “don’t bother if you’re under 6’0” or shorter than me in heels.”
Yeah, it definitely seems like women are a lot more hung up on height than men. And I agree that when men do go for shorter women, it's more of a response to anticipated female preference an independent preference.
The same is true for other things, such as career accomplishment. At some level, a lot of men know that if the woman can't look up to him, there's a big risk that she will lose interest.
Ultimately, we are dealing with two hypotheses: The "fragile male ego" hypothesis (men have a strong need to feel superior to their female partners); and the "anticipated female hypergamy" hypothesis (men are reluctant to enter relationships where the woman will feel superior).
Here are a couple of thought experiments:
Suppose there's a short guy (let's say 5'7") at a bar or a night club who's looking to have a good time. A tall girl (let's say she's 5'9") approaches him and expresses sincere interest in going back to his place to have some fun together. Is he going to turn her down due to her height? Of course not.
Of course one could argue that this is just a quick fling, and for quick flings men care more about sexual release than their need to feel superior to the woman. So let's change the thought experiment a bit:
Suppose there's a short guy (let's say 5'7") at a bar or a night club who's looking to have a good time. He has a choice been approaching a tall girl (5'9") or seeking out someone shorter than him. What will he do? In that case, there's a very good chance that he won't bother approaching the tall girl and will instead go for someone short.
Ok, so why does the man's attitude change from "totally DTF" to "next!" depending on whether or not he's the one doing the approaching?
The obvious and simple explanation is the "anticipated hypergamy" hypothesis is in fact correct. And I'm pretty confident that most men would be open to dating a woman who is taller than them; more accomplished than them; etc. provided the man believes that the woman is sincerely into him and she is otherwise desirable.
To an extent I agree, but I think part of this is that (1) in online dating, men are in a much weaker bargaining position than women so they are reluctant to openly and categorically rule out prospects; and (2) men are aware at some level that due to female in-group bias, a woman will be turned off by any firm qualification rules, even if she meets the qualifications. So for example, if a man belongs to Race X, and he sees a woman's dating profile which says "No men from Race Y! Race X preferred," the man is going to be happy about it. He will think he has a leg up with with this woman. By contrast, if a woman belongs to Race X, and she sees a man's dating profile which says "No women from Race Y! Race X preferred," chances are that if she interacts with the guy at all, it will only be to tell him what a racist jerk he is.
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