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Notes -
What do you think of male-female dating dynamics relative to the culture war? I have a lot of thoughts on this but ultimately think the people worth pursuing are not crossing people off their list because they don’t believe in X or Y.
But it might be beyond your control. As an American, I remember swiping on tinder in London and seeing ‘Do not swipe if you are Republican’ but they replaced the word with something called the Tories. Clearly some people will only date people that share the same ideology. Which is fair if you want someone to nod along to whatever you say, I guess.
It gets tricky when you outright pretend to believe things you don’t. It’s not courageous or respectable. Not apologizing for what you believe is paramount to gaining the respect of your partner. Obviously, when I say this, I’m really talking about relatively conservative men dating liberal women. And honestly, except for far left people like Hasan piker that glorify violent revolution in such a way that they do a 360 and put off conservative ethos, I do think men women find attractive aren’t the male feminist, Bernie bro type. It’s almost like a yin and yang thing where you want some tension with your ideals.
Unlike religion, I really don’t see a need to agree with my SO on much of anything (odd to me that JD Vance and Usha married despite this). It’s sad to think that, on the spectrum of ‘not scaring the hoes’ political ideology, you could have a good thing with someone, say the wrong thing, and lose a relationship because of it.
Only thinking this because I’m coming to terms that I don’t necc need to date a based woman who appreciates old Sam Hyde stuff and edgy right wing leaning online happenings. I’d rather not select for political belief, find someone that will lightly argue with me, and has no interest in that stuff. Likewise, I’ll voice my opinion to her but not make fun of her for being on bluesky or whatever
In theory, it seems reasonable that people should not enter relationships where the parties have strongly held but conflicting political views.
My objection is that the modern Left seems to have this aggressive purity thing going on where they boycott X; boycott anyone that transacts with X; boycott anyone who transacts with anyone who transacts with X; and so on. For example, I heard that Guy Fieri, who is basically a blue collar restaurant critic, got in trouble because he was seen talking with one of the Tate brothers. Apparently he's publicly disavowed the Tate brothers, but if he hadn't, I wouldn't have been surprised if the Left started pressuring his network. Perhaps "boycott" isn't quite the right word, but I think you see my point.
Anyway, my sense is that when a woman says she won't date anyone who voted for Trump, it's usually not so much about incompatibility as it is about wanting to demonstrate her ideological purity. There's a difference between saying something like "I'm progressive in my politics so if you are a hard core MAGA type, probably we won't get along" and saying something like "If you voted for Trump, swipe left!"
Of course the truth is that any Trump voter probably wouldn't want to seriously date someone who was that so into progressive politics that they were on the purity bandwagon. But even so, I think it points to a bigger problem in our culture at the moment: The Left is just ferociously aggressive and intolerant of disagreement or dissent.
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