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Friday Fun Thread for May 8, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Slight amenable is generous, and I must note that the logical/empirical part of my brain does not switch off easy. Not even when I actively try. Maybe a proper night out with the lads might lead to a blackout and then waking up with at the aisle with a standard issue Mormon wife, but I'd probably run from the altar. I can't handle the divorce man, I ain't got much to lose.

And pretty sure the Scottish Mormons are... disapproving of polygamy. I don't think there's a DailyMail article about it, which is the minimum standard for reporting on the lurid and unusual. A single blonde wife? Who'll get mad if I drink coffee? Goddammit. Not quite sold. My immortal soul goes to the highest bidder.

Just need to start your own fundamentalist Mormon cult to get those extra Scottish wives. Lure those missionaries in and convince them coffee and polygamy and definitely no divorce are your newest revelations. You might need to write a newer new testament, but that seems within your ability.

Either they stop bothering you permanently lest they fall into heresy, or you have yourself the beginning of a very nice life. You did say that these women approached you freely.

Unfortunately, you will definitely be the subject of a DailyMail article if you can seduce these women, but alas, that is the price of success.

"Indian man changes his name to David Joseph Smith and claims new revelation! Local community aghast, new figures reveal cults on the rise..."

Just need to start your own fundamentalist Mormon cult to get those extra Scottish wives. Lure those missionaries in and convince them coffee and polygamy and definitely no divorce are your newest revelations.

This plan worked out well for the FLDS for a number of decades, but the wheels have come off in the past 10 years.

He only needs to steer clear of making daughter-wives and human trafficking and he should be in the clear.

Also has to avoid the widespread welfare fraud the feds used to pursue a bunch of the FLDS.

If the FLDS hadn't abused it with their own stores and letting their families go hungry, it would have been perfectly legitimate. Nothing illegal about the plural wives claiming welfare otherwise.