A weekly thread to discuss financial matters - from personal all the way up to global.
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Notes -
How do you balance FIRE with not wanting to be a miserable tightwad? Most specifically interested in if anyone has thoughts on that in context of marriage + children + income gap (let's say 4 me:1 her). A particular potential (pun intended) Mrs. Lagrangian likes travel and activities more than I do and I have trouble thinking about that, especially in context of the income asymmetry.
I am just a non-miserable tightwad. There's very little that costs money that I want and yet do not have. Most of my big spending is A) The house, and B) Nice groceries (Which is just not that large).
For a single person, it's really not complicated. You identify what you care about, and what those things cost, and compare the cost benefit of them being part of your life vs the additional years you need to work to afford those drinks/that boat/the next step up the housing ladder.
Where it gets complicated is when your working partner comes into it. Ultimately, you really need to understand your wife here. Does she support you retiring early? If yes, does she actually, or will she get resentful about it? Will it make a difference if you're pursuing a hobby seriously or taking care of the kids rather than getting high and playing games all day? Does she expect you to support the family entirely when kids come into the picture? If so, is that gonna be just while she's on maternity leave, or is there an unspoken expectation that she'll transition to full time caregiver while you win bread? You really need a firm understanding of how she feels about your money vs our money vs her money, and how much she enjoys work, if you're even gonna consider stepping away.
I am married, semi-fired, and expecting kids in the next few years, so I've got some experience here. My wife is very much uncommonly devoted to separate finances and does not feel entitled to my money. The flip side of this, is despite being unemployed, I do still pay more than 50% of the household expenses. Additionally, we are both naturally quite frugal, so there's few 50-50 travel expenses that I'd balk at. It helps that her limiting factor on travel is available days off, while mine is money, so there's not a lot of pressure to go on more trips. On top of that, I do a lot of household labor, and expect to be primary caregiver a sizable part of the time when kids get added to the picture.
In your case, with the massive income disparity, and your wife enjoying spending more than you, I'd just add half a million to your fire number (Unless it's already so large you'd be able to afford her quitting and traveling as much as you want). It's just gonna make sense for you to do more earning for the family with your large earning capacity.
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