The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I recently lost 50lbs thanks to t'zep, and just the other night had my first experience of less-fat-privilege. A woman I'd previously tried interacting with and gotten rebuffed came over to me and a friend at my local and inserted herself into our conversation, then made a big deal of "so anyways, I'll be over there if you want to keep talking. And if you want to talk over there is will I'll be, for talking, over there, if you want to."
I didn't go over there. I was polite and friendly to her, but I'm kinda distressed at the unhealthiness of my internal reaction. Because my internal dialogue was:
So yeah. Not a constructive attitude. But by this point, a woman approaching me feels like she's violating all the rules I've been screamed at for not following. Or she's obviously mentally unwell and/or drunk, and tomorrow morning she'll sober up and/or come down from her episode and remember she's supposed to hate men.
Women and men do not follow the same rules of conduct for dating, your mistake is assuming that the rules are the same or should be the same. This is one aspect of dating most women are willfully ignorant of, and why dating advice from women to men is often misguided.
You don't need to accept the unfairness, but you will want to accept that this is the way things are unless you are prepared for celibacy.
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