Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
Why should he go? Sounds like negative utility to me. Straits-dwellers have a pejorative word for this behaviour: kiasu, which roughly translates to FOMO on steroids.
Seriously who cares if you’re cool or not only losers care about that.
A big part of why I'm taken aback is that, for me, it doesn’t take any thought. It’s a given: if you don’t have some other obligation, it’s what pretty much every other person I know in real life would do.
Yes, many truly cool people don’t put much thought into it. Though I have a strong suspicion that even at the highest levels - naturals like elite athletes included - they’re putting more thought into it than people realize.
But alas, I am not effortlessly cool, I'm a naturally a loser. How does one go form loser to not loser. I don’t see a clear path from loser to not-loser without thinking through some of these things, even if truly “cool” remains out of reach. Maintaining social circles takes effort if you’re not naturally cool - and even for most people who are. Cool extroverts may enjoy the effort, which makes it easier, but it’s still effort. I believe this is even more important in the face of modernity and with younger generations.
Of course, being a try-hard is the death of cool. I won’t list my escapades (that would be try-hard), but I rarely seek them out purely for their own sake. I’m already doing something and being somewhere, so I’ll put in the effort to seek out something “cool” to do. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t put thought and make deliberate choices in those circumstances.
So if I’m in Mexico, what’s the “coolest” experience I can have on a given day with very little extra effort? It’s giving myself the opportunity to be jumping up and down with a bunch of beautiful people, beer held high, chanting “Olé, Olé, Olé.” I can have a quiet cocktail (what was offered as an alternative) or read a book in bed any evening.
Let's be clear on one thing:
You've no idea what the real reason(s) are for this loose acquaintance of yours not wanting to go. You've no insight into his mind and life. There could be any number of things going on, beyond the stated claim of not liking crowds. Maybe he's got social anxiety or any other disorder. Maybe a family member is sick and needs him. Maybe you give him the ick. Maybe he's got bad experiences with sports crowds. You've no idea. Yet you jump to conclusions and judge.
You're showing a major lack of reflection.
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Damn, man. You're a dad with children now, its okay to be uncool. Your free time is probably limited if you have kids. You should not spend your limited free time doing things that you think may result in an interesting story to tell others. You should do what seems appealing. If you have curiosity about pro soccer, so be it, it is competiton at the highest level, but it can also be appealing to do nothing and follow the wedding schedule. Maybe there are some activities you can do with your kids locally in Mexico that are not available at home?
Attempting to be cool is always uncool. But I believe that not caring about being uncool demonstrates self-confidence, which is it's own form of coolness.
As a dad and husband, it does not set a good example for your family for you to be concerned with matters of trivial importance. Maybe you have some time to plan a interesting mini-vacation for your family, like scuba diving, cave exploration, or visiting interesting areas?
I am not cool - extra not cool now that I have kids - but it's two hours. I'll be spending way more time with my family than normal. Most likely my son is going to be jumping right there with me, my wife jumping with my daughter strapped to her. I would not judge a father in my circumstances for not being in the mix, this dude, not a dad.
For me the world cup match is an automatic go-to if the cost is within budget and the family would likely enjoy it.
I also think coolness or uncoolness should have no bearing on your decision making, for like almost everything. Aspiring to coolness is an adolescent male's concern that he is respected by his peers and that he is appealing to single women of his preferred dating demographic. As a husband + dad, I hope that you soon come to realize that you no longer need the approval of your male peers, nor the attention of single women anymore. At least that's my perspective as a husband + dad.
You may have a different definition of coolness than me, because I don't consider having kids to be uncool. To me having kids is tangible proof of a man's virility and relative wealth, elevating him to a higher level of status beyond the coolness anxieties of single or childless men.
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I agree, but being in Mexico opens up a constellation of other options you could capitalise on, all of which may offer you more utility than going to a soccer game it doesn’t seem that even you’re particularly interested in. It’s not a choice between “soccer match” and “reading a book in bed” (that I concur is an awful value proposition when you’re in a foreign country), it’s a choice between “soccer match” and “seeing Teotihuacan” (which is all lit up at night) or “wandering the historic centre trying out the local food” or “watching the mariachis in Plaza Garibaldi” or any number of other very local things you could be doing.
Coolness per se doesn’t matter as much to me as enjoyability does. If you’d enjoy the match, then yeah, go for it. But there are other options you can avail yourself of which might be better for you, depending on your bent.
Sure if you got something better to do. Maybe this is context that lacking but it's Sayulita for 11 days. The match is 19:00. We will be availing ourselves of the local fair extensively. I wouldn't be surprised if they projected it on to Teotihuacan (not really) Plaza Garibaldi you could do both and it's gonna be crazy during the match, probably more intense than what I could find. For the vast majority of Mexico this is gonna be the only game in town (see what I did there, so subtle).
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