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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   708 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 26, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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Why should we moderate our natural humor for an 18 year old? The storyteller(DM) last night was gay, he kept going into the bathroom for private chats with players for their abilities. We joked that we were all running train on him. Everyone laughed. 18 year old was uncomfortable. I don't feel like it is on us to change our group dynamic because of them. It's not a managed environment and I don't think anyone wants to step up and manage it that heavy handedly

Never got a formal diagnosis, but speaking as a former 18 year old young woman who was sheltered, probably on the spectrum, and very lacking in social skills - I too would have been uncomfortable because I wasn't accustomed to that kind of humour and didn't find it funny. Autistic people are very rules-oriented and "jokes about group sex/gay sex" don't fit into "this is the model of social behaviour as I understand it, also morals". Can you imagine a situation where making a joke about running a train on a gay guy would not be well-received in a particular group? And if she copies that behaviour learned from you elsewhere, it could get her into trouble?

I agree it's not your problem or responsibility, but for people who don't get subtle social mores, "wait I thought this wasn't allowed?" is very confusing.

If she's uncomfortable she can leave. I attended a nude drawing class at 17. Walked out the first time, then finished the class. it was fine, actually, just a bunch of nude 30 year old models.

Edit: to be clear, I was an extremely sheltered Christian homeschool girl 17 year old. It was still fine.

This is more of a woman thing than a 18-year-old thing; after all, teenaged boys are probably peak when it comes to crude humor. I assure you 30-year-old women are, on average, no more fond of crude, edgy humor than 18-year-old women—if anything, less so, as overtime they've spent increasing time in HR/Karen-approved spaces and less time with teenaged boys and young men in unmanaged settings.

Don't? being uncomfortable with edgy humor is not a function of her age, because there are plenty of teenagers who are very, very comfortable with edgy humor. Continue as you are and if she doesn't like it she can choose to leave. But she is an adult so it's nothing to do with that.

If she dislikes crude jokes, she can leave on her own, without needing others to remove her.

What's likely going to happen is that nobody wants to pick her up for events. I suppose that's a natural solution.

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