The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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For the sake of this inquiry, I shall utilize a throwaway account to retain my anonymity as I will be getting on the vulnerable side in this post. I'm looking for an off-ramp.
I struggle with a high libido, and it often manifests itself in fantasies related to a kink I have rather than generic thoughts about copulation, and I don't know how to channel it healthily. I find it at odds with the lifestyle I want to live and the person that I desire to be. I wish I could elude this, but I find myself entertaining those thoughts and entering compulsive cycles when it all culminates and I succumb to my curiosity, before I go cold-turkey for months on end without returning to them. At some points when I see myself having more success talking to women, it enters a remission, but when I find myself in a place of stress and loneliness, it begins to flare up and when I'm no longer convinced that the opportunity cost of it isn't justified. It's certainly nothing illegal, and common as far as kinks go, but I do worry that it will, even subliminally, affect the way I view women.
I'm fortunate enough to have avoided pornography, at least in its conventional form, my entire life because I didn't see the appeal in it at the time most of my peers got introduced to it, but I will look at content that maintains the minimal plausible deniability of what can be considered not pornographic for me to be temporarily satiated. Completely trying to set those thoughts aside is only futile and will exacerbate the compulsion. Some may say that engaging in something productive such as lifting may help, though I already work out 3 times per week, these fantasies will manifest themselves late in the evening at a time when I am not doing anything. I've been advised to redirect my thoughts to something else whenever the fantasies appear, but again, at that very moment I act impulsively and do not see an off-ramp where I can tell myself the opportunity cost isn't justified.
For context, the kink in question is:I am turned on by watching women sitting on the toilet, be it in movie scenes, stock photos, etc. Not because of the bodily functions themselves, but rather the posture. The knees bent, the pants hugging their legs, their shiny legs and thighs fully exposed, the psychological element of vulnerability and intimacy, knowing that women are human beings that are not without their flaws, and knowing that it’s a taboo to indulge in such content.
All I can say is that I understand the appeal. I don't find it sexually arousing, but it's cute. Like bare feet or puffy groggy makeup-less morning face, or the smell of fresh feminine sweat.
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