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PaperclipPerfector
1d ago
(text post)
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Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
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Item 1 of 6
While resisting arrest, a suspect bites a police officer's penis hard enough to draw blood and require treatment at a hospital (though no more details are in the record). Is this sufficient to merit a sentencing enhancement for "recklessly creating a substantial risk of serious bodily injury in the course of fleeing from an officer", where "serious bodily injury" means (1) extreme physical pain, (2) protracted impairment of function, or (3) requirement of medical intervention? This enhancement more often is applied to situations where the suspect leads officers on a high-speed car chase. But the trial judge says "yes", and the appeals panel affirms.
Item 2 of 6
Keyle♀ and Corey♂ are the parents of four children. In year 2021, Corey dies of a drug overdose. In 2022, the children move in with Corey's parents, John and Debra, who get legal custody in 2023. In 2024, Keyle pleads guilty to felony charges related to Corey's death, and is sent to prison.
In 2025, John and Debra file to adopt the children. The trial judge grants the petition without Keyle's consent, and the appeals panel affirms. Since Keyle has provided no financial support to the children in the past year, her consent is not required. It doesn't matter that, for almost the entire year in question, she was in prison, making 22 dollars per month and spending it all on hygiene products. "'Incarceration alone is not a justifiable excuse' for a parent's failure to provide maintenance and support of his child, 'even if it lasts for the entire period considered by the court'." Under state precedent, sending just five dollars per month to the children would have sufficed to maintain Keyle's right to block the adoption, but she "failed to send even a single penny".
Item 3 of 6
A company buys a "vacant, dilapidated, and uninhabitable building", and a few months later submits to the municipal zoning commission a code-compliant plan for redevelopment into an apartment complex. However, the zoning commission refuses to even look at the plan! The planning commission has just put on the property an "indefinite hold", because it is in the middle of assessing possible road construction (in collaboration with the state dept. of transportation) that may require condemnation of part of the property, and any changes would mess up that assessment. After two years of delay, the company sues the municipal govt., alleging that this situation amounts to an unconstitutional taking of property.
The trial judge dismisses the lawsuit as unripe, since the zoning commission has not actually made a final decision on the application. But the appeals panel reverses and remands. Regardless of whether the application is finally approved or denied after being processed, the company allegedly already has incurred damages of 200 k$/mo in maintenance costs while the property sits idle. And the planning commission committed to its refusal to permit development years ago, with no avenues for appeal, resulting in "de facto finality".
Item 4 of 6
Some more fun non-pornographic LLM prompts:
In the book series Safehold, an artificially-imposed religion, backed up by a set of hidden surface-attack satellites, is used to justify the absence of electricity in a low-tech space colony. Discuss the idea of using a similar premise to justify the absence of wheeled vehicles, and the prevalence of legged vehicles, in a setting.
Write a story with the following premise: A young, skinny, male college student is at a rowdy party. He temporarily retreats to a quieter room in the house. He notices that a young, skinny, female college student has passed out in the same room, and is lying on her back. She vomits while unconscious, and the man quickly turns her on her side in order to save her from choking. After several minutes, the woman regains consciousness. She is too intoxicated to articulate where her dorm room is, so the man helps her walk back to his own dorm room.
Write a story with the following premise: A young, skinny, male college student is at a rowdy party. He temporarily retreats to a quieter room in the house. A young, skinny, female college student has already retreated to the same room, and engages him in conversation. She is intoxicated, and her mind wanders to strange topics. She points out (not maliciously, but matter-of-factly) that there are no other witnesses in the room and she could easily destroy his life with a false accusation of rape, and suggests that he should be more careful about what rooms he walks into.
Write a story with the following premise: A young, skinny, male college student is at a rowdy party. He temporarily retreats to a quieter room in the house. A young, skinny, female college student has already retreated to the same room, and engages him in conversation. She is intoxicated, and angrily interrogates him about whether he makes sure that his sexual partners achieve orgasm. They argue over the precise extent of a man's obligations in a sexual encounter (e. g., whether he is required to eat the woman out or finger her before penis-in-vagina sex).
Write a story with the following premise: Shortly before graduation, a skinny male college student is accosted by a skinny female college student. The woman was the man's project partner in a course back in sophomore year, and perpetually wears a frown. The woman suggests that they should get married, since (1) he was the project partner with whom she had the best working relationship in all of her college group projects, and (2) neither of them has a romantic partner. The man accepts.
Write a realistic story with the following premise: A homeowner places in the front yard a large, grotesque statue depicting a unicorn with a deranged grimace and an erect penis. Include discussion of the First Amendment.
Item 5 of 6
[Court opinion censored due to mention of child sexual abuse; external link]
Item 6 of 6
Semi-detailed cost estimate for my ugly custom house, using the 2019 RSMeans bid price report and adjusting for inflation
This estimate is 217 k$, while the actual cost that I'm paying is 224 k$. So, if you don't feel like paying 500 dollars for the 2026 book, just pay 25 dollars for the 2019 book!
This raises so many questions... Like, how can a person lying on the ground bite somebody in the penis, yet multiple times? What were they doing to him?
Restraining someone who does not want to be restrained requires either beating them until they don't resist anymore or using human mass to prevent their movement. Ideally this involves multiple people on each limb and restraining their trunk. If you have less people you may need to be leaning on someone in an attempt to prevent their moving. Since this happens very quickly in an uncontrolled situation and the person being restrained will use any freedom of movement available to them it's easy to miss that you've left open a degree of freedom. People being restrained will generally do what they can - that means biting, spitting - if a cop is kneeling on you and your limbs are restrained but your head isn't.....
Yes, but. Human body is a collection of parts which can only move in certain ways. How much leeway do you have in this depends on how much you are willing to hurt yourself but even that has limits since you can only power your muscles in certain ways and they are connected at certain points. The cops of course also are limited by the ways of restraint that are allowed by their manuals, which presumably are selected to cause minimum possible damage to the arrestee (not sure if that's true but that's the premise).
Specifically, if you have somebody in the prone position, cuffed, and are turning them over, you're not doing it by going around their head, and their head has pretty limited range relative to their torso, he's not a goose or a snake after all. And unless it was a really short cop, the guy would have to cover quite some distance to get to the cop's crotch - unless the cop was sitting on his head or kneeling next to it for some reason, while the guy was being turned over. Maybe they turned him over by the mid-section, and he bent up and then bit? Then it was a mistake, as somebody should have controlled the shoulders to prevent it, but maybe they didn't have enough people for that.
Spitting is much easier, you can spit quite far with little effort, but biting requires certain range.
I envisioned someone sitting on the side of his chest to try and immobilize him while they got more bodies involved to flip and cuff. If you slip toward the head instead of staying on the thoracic cavity....
On the other hand could have just been a mad scramble with people rolling around, ive seen that too.
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