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Wellness Wednesday for September 9, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

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(Reposted because it's obviously still bugging me, since it was the last time a woman expressed fondness for me, and my one Hinge match unmatched me after agreeing to a date this week)

The other week, a woman managed to talk her way out of getting laid.

Cute, curvy, African-American, hair with the double-buns and side curlies, sitting at a cocktail bar, reading a book. I went in with no expectations, just asked her about her book. Initially the conversation was just fine. Good, even. Then she turned out to be a sociology grad student, and I got a bit worried I was gonna be subjected to Academic language. And I was, she said White Supremacy three times over the course of five sentences.

Then she said I "sounded Conservative." I can only guess she was referring to my wisconsin accent (or sperg accent).

Other choice quotes from her:

I'm not going home with you tonight

Why are you sitting so close to me? [She scooches closer to me]

Why haven't you kissed me yet? [I kiss her] Hey! You didn't ask to kiss me before kissing me [she keeps kissing me]

I think to myself "waaaaait a minute, am I being ...shit-tested? I thought that was made up by internet misogynists."

I'm sure she thought she was being cute and playful, but I just found it all tiresome and off-putting. I'm too old for this tsundere schtick, and this isn't one of my Japanese animes. The next topics of conversation all seem to center on men and what trash they all are. Something about catcalling and 16-year-olds.

By the end of the night, I'm walking her to her corner, then it turns out her place is just down the block, so we're at her doorstep. I'm still making out with her, it's getting hot and heavy, and I realize...this isn't worth it. This chick is super-reactive to every little thing, I've only gotten this far by nodding and smiling, eventually I'm going to say something that she'll twist into being offensive. I don't want to just get laid, I want to interact socially with someone I like AND fuck them, regularly. Also, I frankly think there's some weird racial/ideological component to her attraction to me, which I don't appreciate. It's ironic that, in practice, black women seem to hate white men less than white women do.

So instead of asking to come in, as she obviously wants me to, I take my leave, send her the "home safe" text, and nothing further. She did say earlier "I'm not going home with you" so obviously I was misinterpreting the situation and would have been accused of something-or-other. She wouldn't have lied, right?

Do women know how much they actively repel men? If they think they're trying to filter out "Conservatives", they're not, they're selecting for guys who nod and smile and wait for their pants to come off. Or is this just what they're like all the time and they forget to turn it off around guys they want to fuck? Obviously I have issues and resentments with women, but at least I can keep it to myself briefly when I'm in front of someone who I want to like me.

"She's a really nice girl and super-sexy, but...I just wish she cared about Social Justice more" -- no guy, anywhere, ever.

If you wanted to ride the whirlwind, right after she first used the phrase, you should've said something like, "if you play your cards right, I'll show you some white supremacy," and then given her a deadpan-but-menacing look. (@Sloot can undoubtedly provide a much better line).

But seriously, you took the wise course. There is a certain type of woman whose behavior goes far beyond shit tests. It is sometimes presented in the context of "being a brat," but it involves behaving like a poorly socialized toddler and wanting a man who will put her in line. They are not happy unless all interactions are a power struggle where they can try to act however they want and the man has to corral them. Reasoning, cooperation, mutual respect, and the like all mean nothing. For them, a man must be able to make her submit to his authority, or he's weak and not worthy of her.

I have encountered several such women and found interactions with them exhausting. It seems like they are after physical violence (and I don't mean a fun spanking) because the bad behavior reaches a point where a backhand is the only correction. I'm a boring PMC white guy and my pimp hand is weak--using violence to keep a woman in line is not in my DNA. Aside from that, I'd also like to avoid DV convictions.

There is no long-term potential with women like that unless you're Iceberg Slim.

Pretty sure if I had tried anything like that, I would have gotten an affronted "how dare you" reaction.