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PaperclipPerfector  14hr ago (text post)   473 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for October 2, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Item 1 of 4

The Institute for Justice calls attention to a side-splitting case: If you steal the identity of a dead baby, and successfully maintain the identity theft for thirty years, then do you gain legal ownership of the stolen identity through adverse possession? The appeals panel says no.

As he did at trial, Primrose insists on appeal that he is not culpable for making false statements or identity theft because he had actually become Bobby Fort. Primrose concedes that “there is no criminal case which purports to authorize a defendant [to] legally assum[e] the identity of another just through the passage of time”. But he nonetheless urges us, as a matter of “fairness”, to recognize “an exception authorizing one to assume another identity when one has lived most of his adult life under that name”.

Primrose articulates his theory as an extension of the property-law concept of adverse possession, which allows one to obtain title to real property through extended open and hostile possession. We appreciate Primrose’s candor in admitting that this is “a concept yet unrecognized in criminal law as it relates to assumed identities”. But we decline his invitation to develop the new law that he advocates.

There is no basis in law or reason for us to conclude that one may adversely possess the identity of another person. The Supreme Court has held that “[a]n individual’s identity is more than just his name or Social Security number”. A person’s identity is a part of, not separate from, his personhood. And no matter how long one uses another person’s name, he simply does not become the other person.

The identities that Primrose and his wife assumed belonged to infants who were not long for this world. That the infants’ lives were short does not erase their existence or their importance. And no matter what Primrose and his wife did with the infants’ identities, those identities still belonged to the infants who were born on the dates and received the names that were recorded in their birth certificates. It is not at all clear that the infants, their parents, or family were not “harmed” by Primrose’s actions. And Primrose’s contention that he is the one “who had done the work” to establish an identity under the Bobby Edward Fort name by living a life under that name for 30 years is beside the point.

Item 2 of 4

Culture-war-adjacent, but very funny: /mlp/ learns about EU shipping regulations (EPR—Extended Producer Responsibility)

Anon: I want to get "anonfilly" MLP plushies mass-produced on the cheap, and sell them to other anons
Other anons: Yes, I want to buy these plushies
EU government: Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

Tentative happy ending

Item 3 of 4

@cjet79 says: To find a romantic partner, "you need to go somewhere where you can be in the top ten percent of men in the room". Two thoughts occur to me:

Item 4 of 4

People whine about how hating split infinitives is unnecessary Romaboo hypercorrection: "I try to not kill" → "tento non necare" → "I try not to kill". But it occurs to me that I have never seen anybody hate (or whine about others' hating) split auxiliary verbs: "I have never killed" → "numquam necavi" → "I never have killed".

Should split auxiliary verbs be judged on a case-by-case basis?

  • Obviously, in the previous sentence attempting to reunite "should" and "be judged" is totally impossible without dealing fatal damage, since the separation is loadbearing in English.

  • In "I now have killed", can "now" be considered to apply only to "have", rather than to "killed" or to "have killed"? Does asking this question even make any sense at all?

The dreaded Romaboos can be expected to care in some cases but not in others. "I have now killed" → "num necavi" → "I now have killed", but "I have now been killed" → "sum num necatus".

cjet79 says: To find a romantic partner, "you need to go somewhere where you can be in the top ten percent of men in the room".

The formulation in my head was more like "if you think you need to be in the top ten percent of men, go somewhere where you are that".

Meanwhile I'm struggling to come up with healthy married couples I know that met through some variation of that advice.

Far more common are what I'd consider the meeting of averages. An average man in the group matched with an average woman in the group. The top men and women have their pick of all the people and thus don't want to settle or they get caught up in infidelity because of all the choices they have. The bottom people don't date.

One of the best couple producing activities I know of is recreational kick ball leagues. Everyone is usually drinking afterwards. No one is amazing at kickball, and mostly no one sucks either. Everyone is really average. The perfect set of circumstances for tossing status games out the window.

The formulation in my head was more like "if you think you need to be in the top ten percent of men, go somewhere where you are that".

This works remarkably well. I do a lot of theater, and being a straight guy immediately puts me in the top 20% simply by virtue of availability. That last 10% got me my partner of 13 years.

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