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Qeekly Finance Thread - 2026-10-24

A weekly thread to discuss financial matters - from personal all the way up to global.

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Success story/total brag/I'm an asshole:

I got a somewhat panicked call from my broker about 3 weeks ago. He periodically (like every 3 years or so) goes through the accounts of the people he serves with a fine-toothed comb to see if there are diversification issues and noticed boy did I have a shitload of money tied up in Nvidia. This was total serendipity, luck, and completely careless financial negligence on my part.

In mid-2017 my beloved aunt died and left me 200k that I was not expecting. She had two kids, one with kids of her own who aren't exactly doing well, so I figured maybe she'd give me a token amount for old time's sake not big money. Apparently, though, my mom and her sisters are/were extraordinarily frugal investors; my other aunt died this year and she left behind 4 million to my mom and two cousins on a college admin's salary. Mentally, I treated it as monopoly money so I figured I'd build a gaming PC and put the rest in my kids' college fund. In the process of researching parts I thought the graphics cards were imo too pricy and the buzz on reddit was that cryptomining was fucking up the market. So I took a risk betting on crypto and told my broker to put 100k in Nvidia ("...are you sure wsgy?" "yeah I got a feeling") and took what was left and bought bitcoin in 4 instalments in the last 4 months of 2017. I printed out my wallet number and stashed it in our safety deposit box at the bank. I largely, but not completely, forgot about both of these investments because I am an idiot, but again, my mindset was "monopoly money".

So yeah the two of those put together as of last week was like 5.5 million dollarydoos and I sold the bitcoins, almost all of the Nvidia, bought 1.3 mil in T-bills (anticipating that would be my cap gains taxes this year) and put the rest in an S&P 500 index fund, and then took my wife out for champagne and oysters to tell her after everything was stitched up.

I'm on the threshold of being a 1%er now. I'm done putting money in the kids' education funds. If the 4 of them go to 4 years of private high school, 4 years of private university, and 4 years of private medical school (though that last one isn't likely to happen), we'll still have money left over for each of them to take a gap year to find themselves in Thailand. All the better since the oldest kid is 10. My in-laws (who are loaded) have said they will keep sending us 15k checks per kid for their college accounts and hell I don't think that's necessary anymore. We're at a point where there's too much money.

I feel guilty about this. We're financially secure enough that I can just drop 200k on some insanely risky investments and not think about it, meanwhile tons of people are living paycheck to paycheck. I guess I could have lost all of it fairly easily but man it does seem like the universe is extraordinarily unfair.

I feel guilty about this.

I'm going to go ahead and doubt this, but you could always give 100k to a charity you find deserving. Anyway, congrats and I'll do my best to not plot murder while I'm at my shitty public defender job tomorrow.