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Wellness Wednesday for March 29, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I must confess to more skepticism than I feel even when reading typical Dear Prudence or /r/relationship_advice fare. If that really is a letter written by your wife, well, I think she should find her calling as a writer of female self-actualization books and chicklit novels.

This is basically a very wordy "I love you but I'm not in love with you." What exactly do you think she is "in denial" about?

Yeah. Whatever she's going on through emotionally is par for the course, but that prose is grounds for divorce.

Ha, she is indeed planning to write a self-actualization book.

What exactly do you think she is "in denial" about?

That she is repressing her need for love in contrast to her claim that she is becoming freed from the need for both romantic and unconditional love. I gave further details in my response to naraburns above.