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Small-Scale Question Sunday for June 4, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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How can I find (without being predatory), the type of women that are in my league? Yes, go outside…but around 80 to 90 percent of the people in my local Wal-Mart are more attractive than I am. And the percentage is even higher for any of the common suggestions…bars, yoga, running groups. They all have jobs, are able to maintain basic hygiene, aren’t 400 pounds, if they’re using stuff like meth or heroin they’re hiding it very well.

Bonus points if there’s a low risk of being killed, maimed, or thrown in jail. Anything I can think of is basically predatory and as such not something I’m comfortable doing.

Like. Given that most people that can hold down a job, have the ability to live independently (1), and keep a roof over their head are out of my league…how do I find someone that’s reasonable, without being a predator. Preferably while staying above ground and out of jail…if you’re sleeping with crackheads that’s gross. Maybe there’s an honorable way to do that, and maybe I’m basically expected to be a combination friends-with-benefits and social worker to someone like that. But how might I make that happen in a more or less ethical way?

Yeah. I know that what I’ve posted sounds gross. It is. Are there OK ways to engage with this grossness, leave her better than I found her, and be a decent man in spite of it? If I’m expected to be celibate for life because short ugly sperg, I get that. I understand that there are no good outcomes for me with respect to dating and relationships. I’m looking for the least-bad option here.

(1): not someone that has the skills to live independently but cannot afford it - like a McDonald’s worker that lives with her mom. That’s fine; if she got promoted to manager or just got $60k/year she could live in an apartment or something without trashing the place. I’m talking more about shit like ‘being mentally ill and removing the toilet from its mountings’. True story - I know a guy that worked with the homeless and said that many of them fucked up their housing and apartments by doing shit like this.

I would like to know if it is possible for me to date the types of women that are in my league, without being predatory. I'm in therapy, working out, practicing becoming more charismatic and getting a bigger social circle. I understand that's not enough: unless and until I either have my own lab at a world class university dedicated to the study of communication, or make six figures purely off being charismatic, AND I look like a physique bodybuilding competitor AND am impeccably dressed AND am morally worthy of someone enduring a visceral disgust to be with me I haven't done nearly enough. For me, this is table stakes.

However, given that almost everyone that has a job and the ability to live independently is out of my league, I don't see how this could lead to romantic success. Yes. The rather unattractive and heavy cashier at WalMart is out of my league because she is able to work a job.

Looking for women that can't hold jobs or live independently seems ethically fraught, no? It seems kind of scummy to trawl homeless shelters and rehabs looking for a date.

I don't necessarily find the women of my 600lb life or something morally or intellectually repulsive. As for physical revulsion... that's a strong word and honestly who cares? I'm ugly and awkward, I can get jacked and everything but at the end of the day you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. I don't mind the idea of dating someone that's 600 pounds, or a heroin addict, or something like that. Who cares if it leads to being killed, maimed, or thrown in jail? Women are expected to date their only natural predator. If my ugly ass winds up dead to a crazy woman who stabs me, that's just life and natural selection. Problem is, you're kind of a predator if you hang around outside of psych wards looking for dates, no? I guess I'm looking to find out if there's an ethical way to look for and date women that don't have jobs or the ability to live independently, and are frequently in and out of institutions. That's my league, for the most part.

Man, I'm not telling you again: go out and get drunk.

You will not care about any of this shit, and statistically are highly likely to end up sleeping with people who you claim are out of your league. (ie not 600 pounds and/or addicted to drugs)

If you are not used to getting drunk this may take some practise -- you can do it! Just keep after it; it's way easier than going to the gym!

Report back; do not give me any garbage about "alcohol doesn't agree with me" or other pussy bullcarp.

This is the most time-test mating strategy ever; source: Pompeii graffiti.

Have done that without success.

Hell. No shit, I have a 5'10 neurotypical Indian friend. I'll call him Arrow. He's a medical resident and very good looking. Sleeps with ten women a year off dating apps but never brought anyone home from a bar or club. Goes out twice a month.

The getting drunk is not necessarily to get you laid. (directly)

It's to teach you not to care.

I wouldn't even say that getting drunk is all that great of a way of getting laid -- it makes it harder in some ways, even if the girls you are trying to lay are also drunk.

But you are not getting laid anyways, apparently -- go out and drink a lot. Repeatedly.