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"Gentlemen" of the motte. What do you expect in return for... being a gentleman.
I was reading a post in my cities subreddit asking "Do you give up your metroseat for women?".
Most responses were along the lines of "no unless they are pregnant". But some were really making an attempt to claim the moral highground. "My mom raised me to be a gentlemen" from the males to "there are no more gentlemen!" From the females.
I was left thinking thats well and good. But no man is actually taking a purely raw deal just because right? He must expect something in return, not from the individual woman, but the social structure as a whole. I dont know.
What is that something?
Any man who expects that, or who would be discouraged by a sneer, has long ago stopped doing anything of the sort. It is the year of our Lord 2023, if one consistently attempts to do the courteous thing one will be the subject of constant sneers. Yet in my walks it seems to me, that the Grace of God is in courtesy.
There are certainly emotionally stunted specimens of Homo Economicus wandering the streets, who expect that each act of courtesy will be individually rewarded in a great ledger book. But that man will be so consistently disappointed that he will likely cease to do so altogether, unless he sees an opportunity to give his seat to a woman he finds particularly attractive, and then call her a bitch when she fails to return his attraction.
At this point, I'm quite used to women responding to such courtesies with demonstrations of their independence and Feminism, "You don't need to do that." I've found that a slight smile and "I'm going to stand either way, I can't sit comfortably while you stand, you might as well sit down" gets right past that. ((Or something along those lines, writing dialogue in a forum comment always comes across stunted))
If one does it consistently, it is for oneself, not expecting rewards. Because the rewards are so inconsistent that you'd have to be blind to expect them at this point.
I think offering your seat to a young woman is probably seen as pretty weird, but opening the door isn't, I think most polite people hold the door open for everyone if there's someone immediately behind them.
Yup. Not in the same universe of commitment/effort. One takes ~5 seconds of "discomfort" and the other anywhere from a couple of minutes to hours. I don't understand why these actions are being grouped together in the same category of things. It's "selfless" and "prosocial" to die for your country as well but you'd sound like an idiot comparing it to giving up your seat.
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