The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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My interest in being around other people and socializing is nearing an all-time low. I feel like I’m far more motivated by logic/rationality/truth-seeking/optimization than the people I meet in person. I also seem to care far less about social approval than the people I meet. I’m just not motivated or energized enough to play the social games to get positive attention IRL and social media likes. A lot of interactions just seem like I’m pretending to be interested in something so the person I’m interacting with can pretend to like me. Consequently, I don’t have very many friends and my career progress is slower than the people I graduated with.
I’m not motivated much by work anymore because even when I improve something and do an excellent job it doesn’t get me very far. I see people put way less effort and thought into things but they get promotions because they are good at playing the social games/office politics.
Outside of a few places on the internet, like here, I don’t feel like there are many spaces that I can have conversations that are intellectually stimulating to me. Most people just aren’t interested in discussing rationality concepts or contrarian ideas.
How can I become more interested in socializing with other people and playing the social games? I’m currently content spending a lot of time in solitude, but I feel like eventually this lifestyle will take a toll on my mental health. It is already causing me to become more cynical and jaded about humanity.
Because I’m not really even much smarter than average and I get social anxiety in most settings where I could meet new people. At work I can come up with some clever ideas to optimize processes but then people have incentives not to reward me too much because of jealously or thinking that if they give me too much praise then I will demand more money.
I want to do this under the supervision of a therapist, but the potential legal consequences deter me. It is an excellent of example of where the social games people play resulted in a horrible outcome (locking people up for trying to self-medicate, losing decades of potential research). It reinforces my belief that humans are disappointing and not usually worth the effort.
I appreciate your comment and overall I think you’re right in that I need to make changes in my life in order to get to a more positive mental state.
Re: psychedelics, are you somewhere other than the US? Because here, the legal consequences of having a single trip's worth of psychedelics are adjacent to or actually 0 (depending on the state). I would skip the therapist, personally, and shoot for 1-2 close friends (if you have them) or a shaman (which will be more frufru but will do better at altering your mindset then a therapist).
FWIW I was in a similar state to you when I was much younger, think pre-teen. Seeing human interaction as a system to beat is the first step of many. The earlier you invest in being better at it, the longer you bear the fruits of your labor and effort.
Finally, if where you work is net-negative in terms of ascribing credit to you when you do well etc. that's an easy positive change. People who have been still learning socially have indicated it's a welcoming place where they can grow, and where leaders and teammates share credit and genuinely lift each other up. One of our biggest problems is finding low performers because people cover for each other. Orgs like this aren't common but they exist.
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