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Wellness Wednesday for July 26, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I view most internet arguments as a performance where the goal of the poster is to generate as much engagement (positive/negative) as possible. Once you realize that you are merely an observer of the behavior it quickly becomes boring and not worth watching. If you are not getting paid for your performance in an internet argument there is very for little to gain.

If you were watching a play you wouldn’t shout out that the actors should change the ending of the play because you think it sucks. Doing so would only get you kicked out of the theater and maybe you’d have a small impact on some people in the audience. When internet arguments take place in most spaces the outcome is already determined. The moderators and majority opinion of the group have the power to make the outcome be whatever they decide.

If your goal is to change minds the best thing to do is to find internet spaces where people have a norm/value of wanting to engage in honest discussions and debates.