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Notes -
I wonder how hard it is to predict who will marry interracially.
I ran into an old acquaintance the other day and was surprised to find out he married a black woman. Not surprised because he was a raging racist or something. It's just that in our social circles it's still a bit of an unusual thing to do. Looking back, there was nothing about this guy that said "yes, this is precisely the kind of dude who would marry a black woman."
Maybe the big ML models used by dating services are able to identify people more likely to "marry out" than the average user. Either way, it's clear some humans do, and some absolutely never would. What's behind it? Is it genetic? A particular upbringing?
I'm not even sure why I'm so interested in this question, but I am.
Nerdy shy guys obviously very disproportionately marry East and Southeast Asian women. I've thought about this and in most cases (based on speaking to and knowing a few of these couples) I think it's because these men don't approach women, but Asian mothers flip a switch when their daughters are 25 and say "you need to get married now", and cajole said daughters into approaching a nice, shy seeming, tall guy who looks like he has his shit together. I don't think this is bad behavior at all (and white mothers could probably do the same thing), but I've often been amused (and impressed) at how forward Chinese or Chinese-American women I've met are with men they want to date. A lot of these white guys have never been approached by a pretty-ish girl (or maybe any girl) and so fall into relationships that lead to marriage and kids.
White guys with black wives are more interesting. I've known quite a few (it seems much more common in the UK than the US). I'd say they often fall into three categories.
The first is possibly-slightly-xenophilic ambitious white guy with FOB or otherwise 1st generation African woman. Often both professionals, ambitious, academic. One couple I know like this are two doctors, another a lawyer and a banker. Often the woman has a history of only dating white guys, at least since she moved to the West. I think affluent African parents are more relaxed about their kids marrying white than many Asian (especially South Asian) and Arab/North African parents, possibly for cultural and religious (they're usually Christian) reasons.
The second category is the 'cool' white guy with a largely black friend group. He's a DJ, works in arts or advertising, has some creative role, definitely loves rap and hiphop, prides himself on being invited to the cookout. Goes to largely black clubs and bars on weekends. May have a crustpunk/trustpunk vibe, very into BLM. Charitably, he's simply around a lot of black people and so is obviously likely to date black women, less charitably he thinks it's a form of assimilation into the black culture he so admires and/or a fetish. Maybe it's all of the above.
The last category is the 'nerdy husband of nerdy middle-class black girl' category. There are a lot of black nerds but ime they very rarely date each other. Black cottagecore anime girlies have skinny, tall white glasses boyfriends with scruffy beards, and black super smash bros anime D&D guys have short, sometimes chubby, white or asian girlfriends. The only black nerd couple I've ever met were both Africans who studied in a very white European city together. I was worried about a black friend of mine because the guy she was dating had a low-key reputation for being a Sam Hyde fan and casual racist, but they're now married and he seems to worship the ground she walks on, so maybe she changed him.
As they say: Never ask a man his wage, a woman her age, or a white supremicist the race of his girlfriend.
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