site banner

Culture War Roundup for the week of September 18, 2023

This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.

Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.

We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:

  • Shaming.

  • Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.

  • Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.

  • Recruiting for a cause.

  • Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.

In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:

  • Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.

  • Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.

  • Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.

  • Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.

On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.

11
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

What does it matter what the rules are in the dating app? The actual rule is "don't creep your match out and she won't report you". That's also why most internet venues implement rule 0 usually phrased as "don't be a dick". That's the only real rule, the rest are guidelines on what to avoid.

You think women come on Tinder to read their rules and strive to enforce them on their matches in a literal manner like the nerd in school who makes sure the teacher doesn't forget about homework?

You’re 100% right that it’s just a generic “dislike” button. I think you can tell when you get reported on a dating app you get a little pop up that reminds you of the rules, be appropriate, etc. The only time I’ve ever get those messages are after I’ve ghosted or otherwise not engaged with some woman I was talking to/met up with.

Although where the actual guidelines probably have teeth are where the admins review complaints. Nothing ever happened when some ghosted woman mashes the dislike button, but if I were sending unwanted* dick pics or threatening messages presumably they would’ve done something about it.

But of course, it still means when some hot guy sends dick pics he won’t get in trouble but when a creep does he will. But that’s sort of what we want right? People don’t want to see a creep’s dick pics and the creeps should learn not to send dick pics!

The actual rule is "don't creep your match out and she won't report you".

This is the current rule, but the subtext of these articles and initiatives is that the apps need to be more proactive. This means having some bureaucrat or “community manager” reading your intimate messages, automatic AI photo identification, and other dystopian goodies.

That would be a problem regardless of how lax, or in which gender's favor, the rules are.