The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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Notes -
I've decided to leave The Motte. Anybody who wants to know why can discern the shape of it if they want to. You can think poorly of me for it if you'd like. This isn't really a change from the present- I haven't been active since the switch. More I'd always thought I would reengage here at some point, and now I know I will not, so it's time to take the steps for someone who knows they're moving on.
Thank you, Motte, for helping me hone my rhetorical skills and become better at expressing myself. I will always have very fond memories of this community, even if the time has come for me to be done.
Ultimately a lot of the opinions of men here around misogyny, sexism, sex, and women in general are strongly motivated by a deep personal bitterness resulting from perceived or real sexual / romantic failure (either in their past or present) with women.
Thus the paranoid obsession with the idea that all women are secretly fucking “chad” while the nice guys (like them, or like them before they became redpilled) are left with the scraps or nothing at all. They’re not angry about male promiscuity, they’re (as I said to @raggedy_anthem last week) angry that they’re not Chad, that they’re not Russell Brand, that they don’t get to fuck around with many beautiful young women very easily. Or, in cases where they have worked to be more attractive to women, the fact that beauty is superficial has ‘blackpilled’ them in the same way. So, as ‘temporarily embarrassed chads’, they must defend bad male behavior.
This new man-o-sphere stuff seems quite harmful, not least to the believers -- at least with PUA there was a goal, and a clear (if sleazy) path to that goal. Now it seems to be bitter black pills all the way down, which is mostly just a self reinforcing death spiral.
Many things are accepted as fact that (based on my experience) are just dumb, most obviously around virginity and the attractiveness of women over 30. (aging in general I guess -- many of these guys seem to think that it will be all over for them sexually at 30 as well, which is just.. weird)
I mostly just tune this sort of discussion out by now, as it's useless to argue with insane premises sincerely believed -- although I do try to repeat the helpful advice of 'go to a dive bar and get drunk if you are not getting action with OLD' from time to time, but there are always many reasons why this is not feasible.
I'm sure others feel the same -- so don't get the impression that the Chad-Stacy whining (which I agree with cimrafa is mainly jealousy related) is all that representative of what people think in this space. It's just that there's nothing much there to talk about, and we can't exactly ban that line of discussion, so there's not much to be done.
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