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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   25719 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of October 16, 2023

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Is this a full blown victim blaming in the most influential printed medium by decorated feminist? Or am I overreacting?

New York Times: There’s a sentence in the new book that I was curious about, and this goes back to the questions about the trickiness of generalizing and of using a certain kind of rhetorical style: You’re discussing the rarity of false accusations of date rape, and you write, I’m paraphrasing, that there are mentally ill or damaged women who will make those kinds of accusations, and the only thing a young guy can do is not have sex with damaged or mentally ill women. That’s a bit of a flip way of addressing that problem, isn’t it?

Caitlin Moran: That’s possibly my most overt piece of feminism. Obviously #NotAllMen, but I have experienced enough men where the thing at a party is that you’re hunting for the girl on the edge of the pack who’s a bit drunk, bit needy. I can remember dads telling their sons in pubs where I come from, “Crazy bitches are always the best [expletive].” It’s just saying to men as a kind and loving mother with some wisdom that if there’s a woman who is mentally ill, disturbed or needy or unhappy or really drunk at a party, leave her alone. The last thing she needs is a penis. If she’s an upset, needy person and you [expletive] her and then the rumor starts going around school, she might need to, for the defense of her reputation, say, “He raped me.” You’ve put yourself in a dangerous situation because you’ve done a foolish thing.

nytimes.com: https://archive.ph/tZn3B#selection-457.82-457.95

How is this different from "You’ve put yourself in a dangerous situation because you’ve done a foolish thing by flirting with that guy wearing that dress"?

Because rape is rape; the harms of a false accusation aren't over and done with the moment it is made. On one extreme, they could lead to a lengthy prison sentence or even death. On the other, they could result in no damage at all to the falsely accused, and nobody cares at all. This being said, it does seem wise to counsel young men to not get themselves involved in ethically or morally ambiguous or murky sexual situations. At least, not without a very good reason.

*Something like, say, Loving vs. Virginia might qualify; the Southern racists of the day might well have argued that interracial sex and marriage were morally wrong or unethical.

Because rape is rape;

Is it? Because whenever one of these is publicly litigated, the outcomes range from "being forcibly violated" to "I retroactively withdrew consent because he didn't call me back".

If you don't have enough rape to keep the donations into non profits flowing just extend the definition of rape until you have enough. Same with racism.

I ‘do’ think women get pressured into having sex they otherwise wouldn’t have, if they didn’t have an instinctual hesitation to tell a larger, stronger and more violent and anger prone gender “no.”

When you go around living most of your life in deference to men, and with the knowledge any one of them could overwhelm you at any point, you’re not going to be as forthright in saying or doing something that puts you potentially at greater risk of physical violence by not falling in with their suggestion.

The problem to me isn’t inherently the concept, but it’s about as workable in practice as installing cameras in everyone’s home to prove child abuse.

There was a time when men were primarily tasked with safeguarding the virtue and modesty of women. Then that came under attack for its sexist and controlling excesses, but the basic logic at play was sound. If men are to be held responsible for policing other men’s behavior to ensure the playing field was safe for women, then women are obliged to follow men’s rules at the end of the day.

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