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gog  6mo ago (text post)   1701 thread views

Advice for disagreeable people

I am disagreeable IRL. Like, everyone I get to know well eventually starts avoiding me. I can find lots of advice for how to deal with other disagreeable people, but not much for people who are themselves disagreeable. Surely some of you lot are the same. Have any of you overcome this? If so, how?

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Your problem isn't disagreeableness, it's status. If you're low status and haven't accepted it, you'll be ranked as "disagreeable", because a large part of "disagreeable" is contradicting your betters. So your choices are to accept your low status, and at least behave as if you have no thoughts of your own. Or to obtain higher status somehow (damned if I know how, I suspect it's usually not possible after childhood). Or to just keep grinding yourself against the world until one or the other gives.

Money will buy you plenty of status. My own status shot way up when I put my money where my mouth was and made mid-five figures in the stock market while my friends and I were all working minimum wage jobs.

I can't imagine ..how one could 'contradict' one's "betters". About what ? Like, you risk getting fired if you tell your boss he's doing things wrong, but who else is a 'better' ?

All sorts of people can think themselves your "betters". Doctors. Psychologists. Lawyers. A civil servant with the modicum of power to make your life difficult. Any old rich man or woman who thinks they deserve reverence from lower SES people or any younger person. Anyone who thinks highly of themselves and/or has some power imbalance they want to use.

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