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Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 26, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I can't simply ask companies if they have any working for them because the mere question is a faux pas.

In the interview, when the interviewer(s) asks you if you have any questions for them, you could ask them if the workplace fosters an LGBTQ+ inclusive working culture, as this is something which is very important to you personally. Of course no interviewer will say "no way, we hate gay people and think they're scum", but if they seize the opportunity to give a lengthy spiel about how they celebrate Pride month and encourage staff to include their pronouns in their email signatures, that should tell you everything you need to know. They may even explicitly tell you that they have one or more "out" people on staff.

Two points:

  1. You are extremely unlikely to work with an "out" trans person. Given the amount of attention the trans issue gets in the media and popular imagination, you could be forgiven for thinking that 1 in every 5 Americans is trans, but even our resident trans posters acknowledge that the amount of attention the issue gets is radically disproportionate relative to the size of the population. Most estimates of the number of trans people in the US put it at less than 1% of the population, typically in the region of 0.4%. Of all the aspects of American culture that you'll find strange and alienating trying to adapt to, I wouldn't put the trans issue in the top ten.

  2. I don't think this should be a deal-breaker. I have my share of disagreements with the basic tenets of gender ideology. I'm actively opposed to many policies pursued in the purported interests of trans-inclusivity. In my previous job, I actually got into an argument with the head of the marketing department when she requested that we put our pronouns in our email signatures. I will even cop to a certain level of discomfort when I'm expected to address an obviously male person by a woman's name, which I'm not entirely proud of. All that said, if I was offered my dream job, the presence of a trans person on staff wouldn't be a deal-breaker. Even if you get hired by a company with a trans employee, they may work in a different department and you'll only have to interact with them a few times a year, if at all. You may feel a bit silly referring to them by their preferred pronouns, but I doubt the situation will arise very often, and if it makes you uncomfortable you can use circumlocutions to avoid doing so without giving offense (e.g. exclusively referring to them by name rather than using gendered pronouns). Trans activists love to talk a big game about how "you don't even know if you work with a trans person" but this is a bit of a cope, and most trans people don't pass very convincingly (not to mention the especially irritating phenomenon of "transtrenders" who make no effort to transition or even pass as women, but demand to be addressed with female pronouns anyway). But "most" is not the same as "all", and I've certainly met trans men who to a first approximation you might just assume were short, nerdy, dweeby men with narrow shoulders and reedy voices - so in the unlikely event that you get hired by a company with a trans person on staff, it's possible (if not likely) that you don't realise one of your colleagues is trans until they actually tell you.

It's so interesting that you and JulianRota say that this person is unlikely to work with a trans person. Perhaps it depends on what industry you are in, but in tech I've worked with quite a few trans women. Go to a "women in tech" conference and it will be half the crowd (ok, not really, but it sometimes feels like it).

I have not worked with any trans men, so it's likely they are all in non-profits somewhere.

To fill in some more details, I'm working in tech too, at a medium-large company. Not super hip and not one of the tech majors, but in the business, maybe like 1-1.5k developers total. The department I'm in has maybe like 10 or so female engineers, i.e. whose job is primarily writing code, and another few dozen in testing, product, and project management roles. Near as I can tell, all of them are ordinary straight biological women. I mean, I haven't like had sex with any of them or done medical exams or whatever, but all the ones I've seen certainly look like ordinary women, and most of them have normal-looking husbands or boyfriends and quite a few have been pregnant at some point. If any are secretly trans, I would be quite surprised. We have had a few gay men, but not any gay women that I know of.

There is exactly one person total at the company I am aware of who I suspect might be a trans woman. This person works in a completely different department and lives in another state, and I have never seen her in person or had any professional contact with her. I'm only guessing due to her face looking kind of masculine in a Slack profile pic and being oddly interested in pronoun declarations and other such woke things.

I've met a few (not that many, like 4-5 in total) of either at university, and in my experience trans individuals interests predominantly match their birth sex - so FtMs are mostly in psychology, social science and such.

That's a good point, it depends on the industry. I had no idea what field Silverdawn was looking for work in, so my reply was based on the proportion of trans people in the general population. If I'd known Silverdawn was looking for work as a software engineer or something, I would've adjusted my response accordingly.

I have not worked with any trans men, so it's likely they are all in non-profits somewhere.

Or their parents’ basements/the service industry- this is a spectacularly unsuccessful crowd that skews young.