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Notes -
A close friend (Bob) is considering proposing to his girlfriend (Alice). Alice is an ex-prostitute. I am trying to talk him out of it.
By Bob's account (which I presume in turn is him parroting Alice's account), Alice's stint in the oldest profession was a regretted youthful indiscression perpetrated in her teens, for a couple of months. She wasn't groomed, she wasn't coerced, she wasn't doing what she had to do to feed her starving family: she was just horny and kinky and thought it would be hot. After it proved less hot than she anticipated, Alice got out of there and never did it again, and since had the 'normie' sex life of a 21st century young woman: (uncompensated) app hookups interspersed with long term monogamous relationships, most lately Bob.
My gut-level revulsion at the prospect of wife-ing a ho makes my effort to talk Bob out of it difficult, as my churning viscera limits my rhetorical strategy from being much more sophisticated than, in so many words, just yelling "CUCK CUCK CUCK" at him. Perhaps with a side of "If you're not part of the solution for deterring teen whorishness by making it's practitioners persona non grata in polite society, then that's how you get more teen whores".
I am wondering if the astute minds of The Motte can help me think up any more coherent arguments to deploy.
What kind of misogynistic incel prompt is this?
The past is the past. Just because a woman is sexually experienced or has been a sex worker doesn’t make her any less deserving of a proper engagement ring, a wedding of her dreams in front of all their friends and family, a lifetime of love, devotion and commitment. Her experiences of being a sex worker, her experiences with random app hook-ups, only contributed to her growth and maturation as a woman, and made her a more fulfilling partner for your friend. A journey that led her to meeting him. After all of her experiences being a sex worker and having casual sex, she still chose your friend to spend the rest of her life with, so he’s the winner here. The men of her past are missing out on her company, her partnership, her actualization as a woman.
Joking, of course.
It’s somewhat of a fiduciary duty to voice any concerns to friends and family if they’re about to make life-changing decisions. If Alice were a child molester or false rape accuser, or someone deep in dept, surely many would agree that you should have a “Come to Jesus” moment with your friend Bob. Why not her historical hoetry? Especially since it triggers the male ick, an ick that generally increases with the length of a woman's sexuality (much less prostitution), especially for commitment.
If you’ve already voiced your objections once or twice, then you’ve already done your part. It’s tough talking a man out of being pussy-whipped or cunt-struck, talking him out of one-itis. Additional reminders may only result in the messenger (you) being metaphorically shot, as it could be perceived as nagging. And few people like naggers.
Women wouldn’t be nearly as cautious, charitable, or merciful if the script were flipped. If your friend had used prostitutes before, done some sexual experimentation with other men, done some SEA-maxxing, a hypothetical normie (non-prostitute) fiancée’s friends would hardly grant him any charity. Or if he gave them any other ick, for that matter, such as being short or poor. They might find more subtle ways to express this ick to the girlfriend, though, such as undercutting sayings like “if you two have a son he’d be so cute and fun-sized like your boyfriend” or “aww, it’s so charming how your fiancé likes cozy houses and modest cars.”
The female ick is far more transmittable than the male ick given preselection and female male-choice copying, the general susceptibility of women to social influences. A woman is much more likely to acquire a sense of ick for her boyfriend from her female friends’ feedback than a man is for his girlfriend from his male friends’ feedback.
You should also consider whether you want to be friends with him going forward. Couples are basically a package. If you continue your friendship with him, this woman will likely spend time in your house, spend time with your wife/girlfriend, spend time with any children that you have now or in the future (especially daughters). Is this something you’d be comfortable with? I’d personally prefer not to have former prostitutes in my house, much less interacting with a wife/girlfriend or children (as mentioned, especially daughters).
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