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Friday Fun Thread for April 12, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Surely the strategy is to enlist your aunt to find someone suitable even if you also try on your own? My family never helped me but if a well-connected relative had had suitable candidates of the right class and background I’d at least have looked them up on social media to see if they were hot lol.

Update:

She's sending my mom pictures of one on WhatsApp, she's a med student in the UK, her dad is a doctor too, in the NHS, and it turns out he's from the same med school as my mom, just a year younger.

Fuck. It's worse than I thought. I'm honestly not sure how I can weasel out of this one, I have to save face on their behalf, even if I'm not down.

Well, I did at least look, but I'm not marrying a med student, I think my NHS salary for the first few years can support just about myself and an undemanding cat willing to live off the neighborhood wildlife, not a family. Though they're well off enough that it wouldn't be a deal breaker for them.

She do be kinda cute though.

You're locked in, buddy. No sense fighting it or yourself now. Let us know when the kids arrive!

I'm so screwed. Can't even offend him, I don't know what specialization the dad is and I'd rather not piss off a senior consultant when I'm fresh off the Boeing lol.

Eh, I'm sure I can just claim geographic distance and educational pressure. Defer that decision to the future and hope someone gets her first.

How long is the engagement for a typical arranged marriage? What would be the longest and the shortest?

Very general question, but usually it's a matter of months, once both families are content with the pairing (and so are the spouses to be). That follows however long it took for both sides to get comfortable, and rule out the other options.

Eh, I don't think I've seen it take longer than a year, or shorter than a month. Some people are slightly superstitious about auspicious dates, or have more practical concerns such as giving enough notice for distant family to make it, and at least where I live, the winters are the marriage season, it saves on the air-conditioning bill and waterproof makeup if nothing else.

I mean, I never said I wouldn't do that 😉

But it's more that I'm mildly concerned she's genuinely expecting me to start lining them up and discussing marriage plans the moment my flight lands. Which is probably a slight exaggeration, but hey, she never had any kids of her own and I doubt she's got anything better to do, bless her heart. A nice young man showing up, freshly single after ditching that awfully temperamental girlfriend of his (her words, not mine, not that I'd disagree, I did really love her but goddamn did she have issues)? It'll give her something to keep her busy.

Maybe that's something for 2 or 3 years down the line, assuming I haven't gotten some poor girl infatuated by then. Sadly they only tend to figure out I'm an awful boyfriend in some regards when it's a little late, but I'm working on that. I have to, I simply won't survive independently in a distant land if I don't get my act together, and at least I'm now looking forward to it.