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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2847 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for April 12, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Errr...

I just found out a distant aunt of mine is already lining up Nice Indian Girls for me in the UK. You know, eligible bachelor nephew showing from the Homeland, getting a degree worth a shit, gotta snatch them up young.

This is not a joke. And frankly I'm an idiot for not seeing it coming, given that I am Indian and know their proclivities for matchmaking, especially within their community.

Well, at least she's in London, I pray her auntie-network doesn't reach all the way north, though I'm already fishing for excuses to dodge that for now. Like, I think I'd be a good dad, and I do want to settle down soonish, but not that quick, let me fucking live a little. And while I'm not particularly picky about ethnicity, I doubt she has buxom blondes lined up.

Surely the strategy is to enlist your aunt to find someone suitable even if you also try on your own? My family never helped me but if a well-connected relative had had suitable candidates of the right class and background Iā€™d at least have looked them up on social media to see if they were hot lol.

I mean, I never said I wouldn't do that šŸ˜‰

But it's more that I'm mildly concerned she's genuinely expecting me to start lining them up and discussing marriage plans the moment my flight lands. Which is probably a slight exaggeration, but hey, she never had any kids of her own and I doubt she's got anything better to do, bless her heart. A nice young man showing up, freshly single after ditching that awfully temperamental girlfriend of his (her words, not mine, not that I'd disagree, I did really love her but goddamn did she have issues)? It'll give her something to keep her busy.

Maybe that's something for 2 or 3 years down the line, assuming I haven't gotten some poor girl infatuated by then. Sadly they only tend to figure out I'm an awful boyfriend in some regards when it's a little late, but I'm working on that. I have to, I simply won't survive independently in a distant land if I don't get my act together, and at least I'm now looking forward to it.

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