Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
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Errr...
I just found out a distant aunt of mine is already lining up Nice Indian Girls for me in the UK. You know, eligible bachelor nephew showing from the Homeland, getting a degree worth a shit, gotta snatch them up young.
This is not a joke. And frankly I'm an idiot for not seeing it coming, given that I am Indian and know their proclivities for matchmaking, especially within their community.
Well, at least she's in London, I pray her auntie-network doesn't reach all the way north, though I'm already fishing for excuses to dodge that for now. Like, I think I'd be a good dad, and I do want to settle down soonish, but not that quick, let me fucking live a little. And while I'm not particularly picky about ethnicity, I doubt she has buxom blondes lined up.
This thread is amazing, many thanks to all who contributed. I am starting to wonder if the Motte is entirely populated by Indians though...
I wish. Or actually I don't, if I wanted to talk mostly to yet more Indians, I'd stay in India.
Oh dear, about the UK..
At any rate, you're getting a sneak peek into how the sausage is made. Or how the potential customer dodges the weiner coming at his mouth at the least.
Maybe Western nerds would have fewer issues and their national fertility rise if their moms and female relatives had as much free reign to nab them a waifu haha.
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I have acted as the Indian Aunty to matchmake/gatekeep for my desi brother (UK born, Indian, Doctor, absolutely shit useless with women), so let me (not) assure you: the Indian aunties in the UK are recommending socially reclused mummys girls whose lives are intertwined with their mothers at the hip, or these girls have run through their address book and are finally willing to accept their parents request for a Nice Indian Boy.
These arent necessarily bad things, the girls tend to not be psychotic, but I will say that the passivity of all the girls is infuriating even for socially functional desi men. Something about the NRI cultural experience demands that the men take the active lead in all aspects, with little feedback mechanism for what constitutes a successful interaction. As the Matchmaker, I have received endless complaints from the mothers about the lack of Interaction from my brother, so if you decide to pursue those paths, do note the pitfall.
On the other hand, their passivity and your relative bargaining power (articulate Good Indian Boy with medical degree) means you can set the tone entirely. Depending on your shamelessness you can use these girls as your mandatory partner in exploring the London gastronomic scene or as sounding boards for your gushing at the wonders of the Bovington tank museum.
Finally, buxom blondes tend to come with uncertain mass distribution curves. Be prepared for disappointment should you make footfall in the West.
Ah, finally someone who knows what I'm talking about.
As I expected really, British Indian girls, especially those born and raised there and not hailing from very orthodox backgrounds have plenty of options for partners, so I consider it mildly suspicious that they'd be looking at the arranged marriage route (there are of course plenty of benign reasons, and the same is true for the men, such as your brother, who is welcome to take dating lessons from me if you haven't already finished up your work as a matchmaker lol).
Since India itself still has it far more normalized, it's not nearly as eyebrow raising should I hear the same story here.
And I can't really complain too much right? My mom was an absolute nerd too, and paid no heed to men until her mom and dad beat her over the head to get married so her younger sister could marry the guy she fell for, now my uncle.
And I do know perfectly decent guys, doctors to boot, who would make acceptable husbands but are totally incompetent or halt and catch fire in the presence of two XX chromosomes.
I have had far better luck in dating seriously back at home, but rest assured there are plenty of Indian girls who wouldn't know how to use initiative if it was their only option in Scrabble, heh.
And as for myself, I am very much not awkward, though this is largely academic since I don't have serious desire to get hitched in the UK right now, especially since I still harbor hopes of going to the States instead (even if I have to repeat my Residency), and I genuinely do not think I am "absolutely shit useless with women", and am suitably thankful since the prognosis is terminal unless Dr. Concerned Family Member intervenes.
Oh boy. I'm really not that kinda asshole, and believe it or not it's my sense of shame that keeps most of my ADHD at bay. But should I ever need someone else with me to visit the Royal Museum of Firearms so I can gush over their collection and get an autograph from Johnathan Ferguson, I will take your advice. If they stick around afterwards, I know they're marriage material ;)
Insert joke about how the taste of their food and the faces of their women compelled the British to conquer the rest of the globe. But don't worry, if she exceeds my 1 rep maximum, and I'm concerned I can't roll her off the bed, I'm not going for it.
I appreciate the advice and your brother is lucky to have you. Make sure he treats you suitably, I think a lot of expensive champagne is good enough, but you might take mercy since you know NHS wages.
Don't make an offer you can't back out of.
Self consciousness is the bane of the Good Studious Asian, and it is impossible to overcome without experience, and it is impossoble to have experience without overcoming it. With the added proviso that the longer you go with no experience the more this albatross hangs over your neck.
My brother is the worst Indian to ever Indian, having never actually stepped foot in the motherland or even speaking a single word of any Indic language He is the ultimate coconut, yet has practically no experience with the fairer sex. Exhortations of 'just be yoursrpf bro' enthusiastically extolled by Indian Ultrachad don't help, nor does 'just learn to settle' from well meaning women help. The desi dating experience in the UK is really one of the most variable ones, and it brings forth madness from any who experience its troughs.
For your sake, your aunty has vetted the prospects as beyond the pits of Indian Despair. Failing which, weird clinginess might follow.
I've done better things for worse people 😉
I suppose in front of the Pearly Gates I can argue I was Good, and definitely Asian, studious? Well, you know I have ADHD. I just manage lol.
But yeah, I know the type. They make for good doctors and decent husbands, they just need a bit of prodding for the latter.
Bruh.
To be nice to the poor guy, this would be a far bigger concern if he was a girl, since even nominally liberal NRIs still hold out in their hearts of hearts for a
slavedoting daughter in law who participates in the rituals and asks them in nice Hindi/Indic language how they'd like their tea in the morning. But it's hardly a deal breaker for men, especially if they're hardworking and competent, and you haven't accused your brother of not being the latter. They can compromise on that front."Just be yourself" my ass, if I was just myself all I'd do was sit around and argue with internet strangers and play video games. Sadly I'm straight and fond of feminine comforts, like ensuring I don't leave the house looking like what the cat dragged in, and so on. And if the "yourself" is quiet and nerdy, well, you're doubly screwed, and thankfully I'm willing to talk ears off if I feel like it, hence psychiatry.
I don't have the temerity to call myself an ultra-Chad, but I punch above my weight class, and know how to do that in a manner that isn't just sidling up to a drunk chick in a club and relying on looking good and dancing well. Better to take advice from someone who once struggled and improved than someone who never had to think with anything but their dick in this regard.
And dating advice from women? He's better off writing his own will, and a death certificate too since he's qualified. You seem more understanding and introspective, but what girls say they want and what they actually want are miles apart in most cases.
Well, at least he has you, you have his best interests at heart and seem to have your head screwed on straight. Just ensure that he marries someone with more emotional intelligence, or I guarantee the kids will be hella autistic. But if they are, well, you know a friendly psychiatrist who will cut you a discount for being a Mottizen. And I can and will talk to the poor guy if needed, just invite me to the wedding so I can get some half decent food and abundant liquor.
Indeed, stated vs revealed preferences often betray a massive discrepancy. Nevertheless these women actually talk to other women, and pretending to at least listen to them is a bare minimum for social interactions.
Truthfully, he, like many anglicized NRIs, suffer from a bias that you yourself betrayed in your earlier statements, which is a strong preference to date outside proximate cultural companions. Even if the girls meet physical descriptors ("fair and lovely"), many indian men are, I find, terrified of the idea that the girl they date may end up like their mother.
(side note: the one major and exceedingly hilarious exception to this observed trend is the NRI communities in Jersey City, who are so far removed from the generic ABCD culture of vague parental agreeableness/overbearing and liking Indian food that other NA NRIs from Flushing to Virginia find the Jersey NRIs incomprehensible.
And before that sparks any interest in yourself, their social experience distance from generic ABCD experiences does not make them less insufferable. Just... just trust me on this one.)
Anyways, it is this specific issue of social experience distance awareness that I find most incomprehensible to the Aunty community, and thus the nice genteel/exhausted pattygoing indian girls who have finally given in are still approaching Indian matchmaking from a totally different perspective. The specific dynamic at play is interpreted differently by the four relevant parties (Fe/Male Prospect (FP/MP) and Matchmaker Fe/Male (MF/MM ) - Ignore the extremely unfortunate acronym - whereby the FP and MP are both viewed by the MF/MM as 'returning to the fold' which includes obeying the unspoken social structures of the NRI experience. By contrast, even if the FP/MP are kissless handholdless Good Indians they have been acculturated in the west, not fully versed in the expectations and more importantly obligations of the NRI cultural sphere. The gormless women have no idea what to expect to begin with (except for 'generic unvocalizable disappointment') but the exhausted partygoers will judge MP with even more harshness than the FM would because their prior expectations still exist even in this new context they ostensibly consented to participating in.
tldr hope that your obligations only require contact with a gormless girl, cause down the other path lies pain.
I'd rather not sleep on the town mattress, even if I'm not particularly judgemental. Just had things breakdown with a med student who turns out to have an unfortunate habit of getting frisky when she's drunk, and not necessarily with me.
I appreciate the insight from one so wise in the ways of matrimony, may one of the one lakh and change gods and goddesses we have bless you for your advice.
And frankly, you're putting me off the whole thing. Well, not entirely, but I was never too keen to head down the arranged marriage route, and now I'll actively avoid it. Well, even more actively than I'm doing now. There's always the Import Unspoiled Girl From The Old Country route (🤢).
No mommy issues here, even if I prefer older women for their emotional maturity. I'd be tickled pink if one of them was like my mom! In non-Freudian ways, she's a sweetheart ❤️.
And where's your mom in all this? Surely she must be pulling her weight, or is everything being left on your capable shoulders?
Import an indian girl from the old country once you get your green card. Get that 1m dowry and a downpayment on a Loudon County white picket fence. Chances are she'll be moderately westernized herself past the point of gormless insufferability. Don't trust the aunties, deep down they're hoping any match they find for you is a proxy for their own daughter.
As for the attempts of the aunty network, it has all been failures. The girls have ranged from fully-passing halfies to 8/10 modern elites to tradwife factory template to the leavings of ultrachad, and all have rejected the match. My boy has flamed out with literally every girl in the last 15 years, except for one I accidentally introduced to him. Hence, by dint weight of historical track, I have been tasked with this sacred mandate.
Well, if my luck keeps working out, I might end up in the US doing yet another residency, and I think that green card fetches a higher sum lol. But that's just optimistic daydreaming for now.
Jesus Christ how old is your brother? 15 years? I regret my offer on rizz lessons, he's probably going to be a senior consultant and not in the mood for lectures from an uppity junior.
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Oh this, oh this.
No matter whether you like tits, ass or hips, with even a little age mass goes where it wills, and it obeys no rules but gravity.
It is an absolute curse that the reality of dating frontloads immense amount of effort into visual presentation, which quickly loses its value in contributing to long term maintenance of a stable relationship. Yet, without that frontloaded focus, one cannot even reach the steady state whereby ones looks are diminished in their relative priority.
One can love their partner regardless of how they end up looking, but you must have a partner worth loving in the first place before the luxury of ignorance can be afforded. Relationships should grow like a fine wine, even if the people grow sideways within said time.
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My aunt in the States offered to do this for me. The only question in my mind is why on earth would a girl in the centre of the world (NYC) be willing to import a spouse? (she claims there are many in her community) NYC probably has some of the best marraige-age people : human capital/wealth ratios in the world.
Western Desi kids (especially the girls) are such losers for even allowing this to be an option.
I didn't tell her a flat no though, obviously the best option is to keep this door open incase I can't cook something up in due time.
The girl I knew who took up the offer did so in desperation after her situationships all failed simultaneously, just as she thought she could convert at least a few of them into simultaneous dating arrangements. She did play the millennial power woman dating meat market well while her cards remained in her favour, but alas punjabi genetics caught up to her, and the circle of orbiters all escaped immediately.
The man came over, she discovered she preferred singlehood to domesticity with a dweeb, then she went to california and discovered the joy of being a precious commodity. I give it 3 years till the next shot of punjabi genetic affectation hits her, and she'll take up her moms offers once again.
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That's a sensible decision. I'm perplexed as you that anyone in the West would end up needing such aid, but hey, at least it's a decent fallback.
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Kinda harsh? Some people and families I'm sure put more importance than you do on familial and cultural ties. Nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't turn into a "Hassidic jews bankrupting the NY state budget abusing welfare programs" style of insularity.
UK capped a lot of child welfare at 2 children for all born after 2017. Probably a good idea for the US.
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Last year I was at a social gathering with an (about 30?) year old, higher-class Indian woman who lamented that her parents refused to find her a match before her older sister. She was also talking about matchmaking sites where all sort of criteria are included, like skin tone. It was problematic that her older sister was darker skinned than she was. Wild stuff.
The older sister thing is a common story. Happened to my mom as well, she got married because her younger sister fell in love with a grad student, and they were planning to tie the knot before they moved to the States. My mom wasn't one for romance, barring some traumatizing incidents where I accidentally read her Mills and Boons novels out of boredom as a kid lmao.
The main issue is that in some more conservative parts, people get suspicious if the older sister (not a brother) isn't married yet, because it raises concerns about why that hasn't happened. Is she a bad egg? What's wrong with her? And those concerns can hamper the younger one, even if it's for entirely benign reasons.
In actual India, this isn't a big deal, not most of the time, especially if the family has a decent excuse, such as the older daughter still being in grad school, doing a PhD, being in a committed relationship and so on. But if they emigrated a while back, they probably still have older cultural attitudes ossified in them, all the more if they're explicitly looking for an arranged marriage (most Indians abroad don't do that, as far as I'm aware, it's usually acceptable for them to find their own). I'm not condoning this, I find it rather sad, but that's my understanding of the issue.
Ah, Indians of all castes and creeds are obsessed with skin tone. The fairer, the better as far as they're concerned. Skin lightening creams of dubious utility have been raking in billions, for decades.
This is an issue for both men and women alike, but a bigger deal for the latter.
Hell, even I internalized this as a kid, and until I was secure in my own skin, dark as it is (hardly the darkest, but still obviously brown), I used to be deeply jealous of my younger brother who happened to be both fairer and otherwise more classically handsome. But that's a thing of the past now, and has been for a while. I have my own personal appeal, be it when it comes to looks or otherwise. But I know I look fine. He's certainly still more handsome, but motherfucker needs it, given how bad his ADHD is, I'm praying he ends up bagging a sugar-mommy so he doesn't have to work for a living heh.
Now this hasn't changed, it's been a cultural obsession since before living memory, and I don't know how well glutathione skin lightening creams work, but if there's something coming out that obviously makes people fairer, it'll make more money than Ozempic does.
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I thought you had an America-hating girlfriend?
Now I have an America-hating ex girlfriend! That much hasn't changed. She failed her exams, not that we broke up because of that. We had issues, and I can't point my finger solely at her.
I did love her a lot, if that wasn't obvious, but at least I won't have to cajole her into moving with me, assuming that ever happens. For now, the UK it is for me, for the next 3 years at the least.
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Are you an atheist? If so, will this be a problem for Matchmaker Aunt?
I am an atheist, and I'd go so far as to say I'm an anti-theist, though I keep my religious squabbling to places like the Motte. As long as someone doesn't impose on me, I can deal with a little spirituality in a partner, even if I strongly disapprove.
I don't think my aunt knows this, but it probably doesn't matter. I doubt British-Indian women are particularly devout themselves, especially if they were raised there. And most view Hinduism as more of a cultural tradition they're fond of rather than nursing burning desires to undergo a pilgrimage to the Himalayas and see the Ganga sprout, somewhere before it turns into a river of shit and corpses. And I'm not going around burning temples to the ground either.
And besides, there are literally atheist strains of Hinduism, most famous being the nastiks, which ended up being the common word in most Hindi-adjacent languages for atheist. It's a very tolerant and syncretic religion, it's unlikely any Indian girl I meet there will care as long as I chuckle ruefully as she tries to set fire to the place with lamps for Diwali or insists on wearing a sari during festivals and smearing food-grade pigments on me during Holi.
It's not a big deal really, unless they're from super conservative backgrounds or fresh off the boat.
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lol
This sounds like a win-win.
It's not a loss for me haha, but as much as I love biryani, I don't eat it literally every day (though it was close for a year or two).
I don't particularly care if the person I end up with is Indian or not. Hell, I think Pakistani or Iranian girls are the hottest, though them being Muslim would certainly be a headache for my family, liberal as they are. Can't blame them, they were being genocided for being Hindus in East Pakistan, now Bangladesh. I'd be salty too.
I'm suitably touched, and I appreciate the gesture, even if I shake my head ruefully. Not going to settle down yet. Give me a few more years, I've been through some shit and might even move again, if the stars align.
Are Pakistani girls noticeably genetically distinct with regards to looks? Or is it just like saying white Canadian women are hotter than white British women?
Yes, they look more "white"
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India has like at least 30 distinct ethnicities, and people from the different corners bear about as much resemblance to each other as a Norwegian does a swarthy Spaniard with Moorish ancestry. Or they do to with a Pacific Islander or Australian aboriginal, or the fucking Chinese. People from the North Eastern regions are far closer to the Thai, Nepali or Bhutanese in terms of looks than they are to me.
It's a fucking diverse country, not that I expect Westerners to be able to make out finer distinctions than North vs South Indian, or maybe Punjabi if they're wearing a turban.
So yes, Pakistani girls, while overlapping with Indian girls from across the border (said border being largely arbitrary at the time of independence), do look notably different, and what else but genes would account for that? I think they're super hot, but it's not like I don't know hot Indian women from my own particular ethnic group or any other.
To be honest, I can't even tell North or South Indian folks apart. Then again it's not like people wear a badge saying what part of the country they are from, so unless you know the differences already it seems like it would be hard to suss out. The only thing I know about different regions of India is that a friend at a previous job (from Chennai) used to talk so much shit about North India, lol. I always took that with a grain of salt but it was pretty funny how much trash he would talk about North Indians.
Neither can they, will frequently get immigrants open conversation with me in Hindi. 2nd gens like myself are even worse, most can't even tell I'm south Indian after hearing my extremely Dravidian last name.
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Ah, accursed Northern/Southern Indians! They ruined India!
Yeah, the North and the South are usually locked in something between friendly rivalry and a bitter bloodfeud. They don't speak the same languages or even similar ones, when they do communicate it's mainly through English, which is the lingua, uh, franca, and the younger ones down south have picked up Hindi too.
But you need an ophthalmologist if you can't tell us apart dawg haha, though I'm somewhere in between given my own cultural background, but closer to north Indian in terms of culture and language. At least we can sorta understand them, and vice versa. Then there's also an east west axis, though that's not quite as jarring.
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Oh right. Kind of a stupid question on my part, in retrospect.
Nah it's not a stupid question, quite a lot of people don't even realize that India, Pakistan and Bangladesh were once continuous and you couldn't tell you were somewhere else until you were several hundred kilometers past the border.
A lot of the changes was people fleeing in the tens of millions during the Partition, but even then, the populations across the border don't diverge that much. But at least if you go far enough west in Pakistan, you can tell they're closer to Afghan than what you'd think of as Indian.
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Surely the strategy is to enlist your aunt to find someone suitable even if you also try on your own? My family never helped me but if a well-connected relative had had suitable candidates of the right class and background I’d at least have looked them up on social media to see if they were hot lol.
Update:
She's sending my mom pictures of one on WhatsApp, she's a med student in the UK, her dad is a doctor too, in the NHS, and it turns out he's from the same med school as my mom, just a year younger.
Fuck. It's worse than I thought. I'm honestly not sure how I can weasel out of this one, I have to save face on their behalf, even if I'm not down.
Well, I did at least look, but I'm not marrying a med student, I think my NHS salary for the first few years can support just about myself and an undemanding cat willing to live off the neighborhood wildlife, not a family. Though they're well off enough that it wouldn't be a deal breaker for them.
She do be kinda cute though.
You're locked in, buddy. No sense fighting it or yourself now. Let us know when the kids arrive!
I'm so screwed. Can't even offend him, I don't know what specialization the dad is and I'd rather not piss off a senior consultant when I'm fresh off the Boeing lol.
Eh, I'm sure I can just claim geographic distance and educational pressure. Defer that decision to the future and hope someone gets her first.
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How long is the engagement for a typical arranged marriage? What would be the longest and the shortest?
Very general question, but usually it's a matter of months, once both families are content with the pairing (and so are the spouses to be). That follows however long it took for both sides to get comfortable, and rule out the other options.
Eh, I don't think I've seen it take longer than a year, or shorter than a month. Some people are slightly superstitious about auspicious dates, or have more practical concerns such as giving enough notice for distant family to make it, and at least where I live, the winters are the marriage season, it saves on the air-conditioning bill and waterproof makeup if nothing else.
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I mean, I never said I wouldn't do that 😉
But it's more that I'm mildly concerned she's genuinely expecting me to start lining them up and discussing marriage plans the moment my flight lands. Which is probably a slight exaggeration, but hey, she never had any kids of her own and I doubt she's got anything better to do, bless her heart. A nice young man showing up, freshly single after ditching that awfully temperamental girlfriend of his (her words, not mine, not that I'd disagree, I did really love her but goddamn did she have issues)? It'll give her something to keep her busy.
Maybe that's something for 2 or 3 years down the line, assuming I haven't gotten some poor girl infatuated by then. Sadly they only tend to figure out I'm an awful boyfriend in some regards when it's a little late, but I'm working on that. I have to, I simply won't survive independently in a distant land if I don't get my act together, and at least I'm now looking forward to it.
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Must be nice to have a family and community that actually cares about helping you with that! Spend a few years getting shot down on tinder and in clubs, then youll be more appreciative.
It's not that I'm not appreciative, I think it's sweet of her, it's just a bit misguided and not what I want to be doing with my life right now.
I don't think there's anything wrong with arranged marriages for the matter, even in India, outside the truly hidebound and orthodox, it's more serious dating with additional vetting by family on both sides. I'm sure the more religious here will understand, especially our Jews. It speaks to how atomized most of the West is that this strikes anyone here as an utterly foreign concept (and I'm not pointing at you either).
And while I've literally complained about how god-awful Tinder is, I'm doing pretty well on the other dating apps. Better than expected. There's no way to express how well without coming across as boasting, so I'm giving up on it. I only avoid talking about it (more) because I too was once an angsty, sexless dude lusting after girls and never getting any. I think I'm at the point where that hasn't been true for most of my life after puberty, but I remember how awful that felt, and all the worse when you do know people who are getting it good.
Look, I'm tall, I've got a deep voice and a glaring lack of an Indian accent. People in the West mistake me as hailing from Nordic parts, and are genuinely surprised to find out I'm Indian, at least if they only know me from my voice. I'm funny, charming, when I can be arsed to (and for a pretty girl I can be very arsed), and I sincerely think I'm a nice person who is fun to talk to and whose company people enjoy, even as friends. I'm kind. Gentle, even.
I'm in a field, which, if not held in quite as high esteem in the UK as it is in India or the States, is still highly respectable. My career is finally progressing, and I don't see any major roadblocks ahead barring my now gently smoldering desire to fuck it all and escape to the States. I got called hot by some cute chicks recently, and they weren't even drunk (though they could use an eye checkup). I wouldn't call myself handsome, per se, but at the very least it wasn't a deal breaker when it came to seeing women much hotter than I am.
I'm not an introvert, I'm at a happy medium where I can mix with people if I care to. I can charm women by sliding into DMs or in person.
I just happen to suck at dancing, so maybe clubs aren't the right place to be, but believe it or not I have options. And I wish to explore said options, given that things have utterly broken down on with the girl I saw myself marrying, and then I discover that hey, cute girls younger and older than me are into me. It's a nice feeling. I didn't expect it.
If all else fails, and I can't meet a cute doctor at work or elsewhere (and I don't particularly care if they're a doctor, or about their ethnicity), then sure, there's always the backup option of relying on the old whisper network or more organized means of finding a spouse, but you're mistaken if you think I'm likely to need it. I do alright.
And that's that for me. I'm not scared, and why should I be?
How do you not have an Indian accent? I would be very surprised if someone who grew up in the US and spent their entire life there didn’t have an American accent. The only cases I’m aware of would be some sub-sects of Ultra-Orthodox Jews that still have Yiddish-inflected American accents (although these are still more American than not, the same is true for their British equivalents) or some Mexican-Americans who grew up in largely Hispanic border communities and almost never interact with non-Spanish-speaking Americans.
I know some very rich Indians who have British or American accents but in the former case they went to boarding school in Britain and in the latter case they typically either go to boarding school in the US or to international schools in Singapore, Switzerland etc from 11 or 13. I looked up Rahul Gandhi on YouTube and even he (very high status Indian) seems to have a strong Indian accent, which is almost funny coming from him because he looks (for obvious reasons) like a swarthy European.
How would you describe your accent? More American, or just international enough that it sounds ‘not Indian’?
My parents were too busy to have a honeymoon. My dad was in the OR operating when I was born.
To be fair, he and my grandpa were doing the C-sec on my mom, so I can't claim he wasn't involved lol.
But when I was a little older and they had money saved up, they decided to spend about 8 months traveling the globe, seeing quite a few countries but mostly spending time with friends and family in the UK and the States. I was still barely a toddler, but started off knowing only my mother tongue, but came back fluent in English with an American accent. And an addiction to Teletubbies, which probably explains why my mom had to lug a suitcase full of VHS tapes back and why my writing mixes styles and idioms from both sides of the pond. But at any rate, while it did dwindle with time, I was always great at English, to the point where it far outpaces even Bengali, let alone my lacklustre Hindi. And I consumed mostly English-language entertainment from an early age, and spoke English almost exclusively with my friends, my mom and my brother.
So I have an extremely neutral accent, one that sounds vaguely Nordic to western ears. I get asked literally every day at the hospital if I'm from around these parts, and I have to assure them that I am. Well, not for much longer at least.
I guess @cjet79 and @TheDag have heard me over voice comms on discord, so you can ask them what I sound like. My opsec is so compromised, but I'd still not rather make my voice public, especially when it's trivially easy to clone these days. It's not an affectation, though I abhorr Indian accents and wouldn't want to sound like that in the first place. Not that I'm very fond of British accents either, they've got some stinkers, and even Received Pronunciation sounds uppity and unnecessarily trying too hard to be posh to my ears. But who am I to judge? I just hope I don't acquire a Scottish one, Indians find me hard enough to understand as it is. I prefer American accents in general.
I'm terrible with differentiating accents.
Neutral is a pretty good description of yours, but I'm American so maybe that is your accent. You have a very deep voice so that throws me off a little.
I'm not sure if I'm remembering any Indian affectations or I just assumed they were there cuz I knew you were Indian. It might have just been that you correctly pronounced Indian words, which most people with non-indian accents can't do. I think it was a food item curry/Tikka/biryani etc.
Ah, well, if you were speaking to me, biryani almost certainly came up somewhere. It's a near and dear topic, and I'll miss it in the UK, where decent biryani in the style I like was nigh impossible to find. Some of the flavoring and spices are too, and my ex planned ahead and brought her own.
Unfortunately in this one regard her ambitions exceeded her culinary talents, and while she did make a tasty rice dish, I'd struggle to call it biryani. Closest I found to what I like was from a Pakistani restaurant.
I asked my friends who know how to cook if it's possible for me to learn how to make it properly while I'm taking a crash course in Single Survival 101, and the consensus is an unanimous no. It takes time, rather specific utensils and spices, and is easy to fuck up if you don't know what you're doing. Which I don't.
Guess that clears up what I'm eating for the next few weeks eh?
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Nordic looking dark skinned Indian from India without an accent is probably just a joke.
Re: Rahul Gandhi - many Indians who grew up abroad and speak with e.g. an American accent code switch and talk with an Indian accent to Indian Indians. It's possible he just does that all the time for the cameras to seem more Indian.
You didn't get what I said. I look Indian. I sound Nordic. Or at least that's the most common ethnicity I've been accused of being, by people who haven't actually seen my face.
I have buddies who know I'm Indian, and they enjoy taking the piss with other acquaintances who don't me but have heard my voice by asking them where they think I'm from. I play a game called Arma 3 which uses TeamSpeak for voice comms, and it shows your nationality in a small box. Cue the surprise when they see mine is from India, and accusations of using a VPN.
Claims include Nordic, American, German, Dutch, but primarily the first.
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I mean there's Indian accent and then there's Indian Accent. Think someone born in India but educated in western university vs stereotypical Indian tech support. I have a couple of friends who fit the first. Like yeah, you can hear they're probably from India but it's not a thing that strikes you the first moment you talk with them.
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Be careful in the medium-long term. Hitting the wall isn’t something that only happens to women, and it can creep up on you faster than you think.
That's a good while away. While I'm on the wrong side of my 20s, I'm still relatively young and probably younger than most doctors at my level, primarily because I got into med school on my first try and smashed all the million exams I needed, here or abroad, to keep progressing, with the only notable delay being maybe 6 or so months lost because I was waiting for my ex to pass an exam I managed on my first try and she didn't.
Guys don't hit walls till they're well past 35, maybe well past 40 if they take care of themselves. I'm not waiting that long to settle down, 2 to 4 years is what I have in mind. And for me, the most pressing issue would be losing my hair, which I have a 80% chance of suffering given my dad had male pattern baldness. But he got married at 33, and he had a full head of hair then, and I remember being old enough to recall him starting to lose it.
Then again, I do know what to do about it, namely minoxidil, or a trip to Turkey or India to visit the hair transplant surgeons. It's not a pressing concern by any means, and so far, I've only gotten better looking with age, and most girls do like a guy older than them, even if I have a thing for older girls.
2 to 4 years sound wise to me, but keep an eye on it. Hair plugs have come a long way, they can look very thick and natural now. I would avoid minoxidil, hormone treatments of any kind are a lot heavier than most people think.
I think you're confusing minoxidil and finasteride!
Minoxidil is rather safe when applied topically, you shouldn't take it as an oral tablet as it was originally made for because A) It was discovered as a treatment for treatment resistant hypertension and B) You'll look like Chewbacca. But topically, as drops? It's perfectly fine really.
It's finasteride that makes your dick stop working. Kinda defeats the point of getting your hair back.
I'm glad you replied quickly because he had me searching "minoxidil side effects does it make your dick small 5 years use oh God oh fuck"
It won't make your dick bigger, that's for sure, but it shouldn't make it smaller either, heh.
Sometimes it's prescribed as a combo with finasteride for the people in a real rush, so I guess some of the bad rep rubs off.
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