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Friday Fun Thread for April 12, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Errr...

I just found out a distant aunt of mine is already lining up Nice Indian Girls for me in the UK. You know, eligible bachelor nephew showing from the Homeland, getting a degree worth a shit, gotta snatch them up young.

This is not a joke. And frankly I'm an idiot for not seeing it coming, given that I am Indian and know their proclivities for matchmaking, especially within their community.

Well, at least she's in London, I pray her auntie-network doesn't reach all the way north, though I'm already fishing for excuses to dodge that for now. Like, I think I'd be a good dad, and I do want to settle down soonish, but not that quick, let me fucking live a little. And while I'm not particularly picky about ethnicity, I doubt she has buxom blondes lined up.

Are you an atheist? If so, will this be a problem for Matchmaker Aunt?

I am an atheist, and I'd go so far as to say I'm an anti-theist, though I keep my religious squabbling to places like the Motte. As long as someone doesn't impose on me, I can deal with a little spirituality in a partner, even if I strongly disapprove.

I don't think my aunt knows this, but it probably doesn't matter. I doubt British-Indian women are particularly devout themselves, especially if they were raised there. And most view Hinduism as more of a cultural tradition they're fond of rather than nursing burning desires to undergo a pilgrimage to the Himalayas and see the Ganga sprout, somewhere before it turns into a river of shit and corpses. And I'm not going around burning temples to the ground either.

And besides, there are literally atheist strains of Hinduism, most famous being the nastiks, which ended up being the common word in most Hindi-adjacent languages for atheist. It's a very tolerant and syncretic religion, it's unlikely any Indian girl I meet there will care as long as I chuckle ruefully as she tries to set fire to the place with lamps for Diwali or insists on wearing a sari during festivals and smearing food-grade pigments on me during Holi.

It's not a big deal really, unless they're from super conservative backgrounds or fresh off the boat.