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Errr...
I just found out a distant aunt of mine is already lining up Nice Indian Girls for me in the UK. You know, eligible bachelor nephew showing from the Homeland, getting a degree worth a shit, gotta snatch them up young.
This is not a joke. And frankly I'm an idiot for not seeing it coming, given that I am Indian and know their proclivities for matchmaking, especially within their community.
Well, at least she's in London, I pray her auntie-network doesn't reach all the way north, though I'm already fishing for excuses to dodge that for now. Like, I think I'd be a good dad, and I do want to settle down soonish, but not that quick, let me fucking live a little. And while I'm not particularly picky about ethnicity, I doubt she has buxom blondes lined up.
Must be nice to have a family and community that actually cares about helping you with that! Spend a few years getting shot down on tinder and in clubs, then youll be more appreciative.
It's not that I'm not appreciative, I think it's sweet of her, it's just a bit misguided and not what I want to be doing with my life right now.
I don't think there's anything wrong with arranged marriages for the matter, even in India, outside the truly hidebound and orthodox, it's more serious dating with additional vetting by family on both sides. I'm sure the more religious here will understand, especially our Jews. It speaks to how atomized most of the West is that this strikes anyone here as an utterly foreign concept (and I'm not pointing at you either).
And while I've literally complained about how god-awful Tinder is, I'm doing pretty well on the other dating apps. Better than expected. There's no way to express how well without coming across as boasting, so I'm giving up on it. I only avoid talking about it (more) because I too was once an angsty, sexless dude lusting after girls and never getting any. I think I'm at the point where that hasn't been true for most of my life after puberty, but I remember how awful that felt, and all the worse when you do know people who are getting it good.
Look, I'm tall, I've got a deep voice and a glaring lack of an Indian accent. People in the West mistake me as hailing from Nordic parts, and are genuinely surprised to find out I'm Indian, at least if they only know me from my voice. I'm funny, charming, when I can be arsed to (and for a pretty girl I can be very arsed), and I sincerely think I'm a nice person who is fun to talk to and whose company people enjoy, even as friends. I'm kind. Gentle, even.
I'm in a field, which, if not held in quite as high esteem in the UK as it is in India or the States, is still highly respectable. My career is finally progressing, and I don't see any major roadblocks ahead barring my now gently smoldering desire to fuck it all and escape to the States. I got called hot by some cute chicks recently, and they weren't even drunk (though they could use an eye checkup). I wouldn't call myself handsome, per se, but at the very least it wasn't a deal breaker when it came to seeing women much hotter than I am.
I'm not an introvert, I'm at a happy medium where I can mix with people if I care to. I can charm women by sliding into DMs or in person.
I just happen to suck at dancing, so maybe clubs aren't the right place to be, but believe it or not I have options. And I wish to explore said options, given that things have utterly broken down on with the girl I saw myself marrying, and then I discover that hey, cute girls younger and older than me are into me. It's a nice feeling. I didn't expect it.
If all else fails, and I can't meet a cute doctor at work or elsewhere (and I don't particularly care if they're a doctor, or about their ethnicity), then sure, there's always the backup option of relying on the old whisper network or more organized means of finding a spouse, but you're mistaken if you think I'm likely to need it. I do alright.
And that's that for me. I'm not scared, and why should I be?
Be careful in the medium-long term. Hitting the wall isn’t something that only happens to women, and it can creep up on you faster than you think.
That's a good while away. While I'm on the wrong side of my 20s, I'm still relatively young and probably younger than most doctors at my level, primarily because I got into med school on my first try and smashed all the million exams I needed, here or abroad, to keep progressing, with the only notable delay being maybe 6 or so months lost because I was waiting for my ex to pass an exam I managed on my first try and she didn't.
Guys don't hit walls till they're well past 35, maybe well past 40 if they take care of themselves. I'm not waiting that long to settle down, 2 to 4 years is what I have in mind. And for me, the most pressing issue would be losing my hair, which I have a 80% chance of suffering given my dad had male pattern baldness. But he got married at 33, and he had a full head of hair then, and I remember being old enough to recall him starting to lose it.
Then again, I do know what to do about it, namely minoxidil, or a trip to Turkey or India to visit the hair transplant surgeons. It's not a pressing concern by any means, and so far, I've only gotten better looking with age, and most girls do like a guy older than them, even if I have a thing for older girls.
2 to 4 years sound wise to me, but keep an eye on it. Hair plugs have come a long way, they can look very thick and natural now. I would avoid minoxidil, hormone treatments of any kind are a lot heavier than most people think.
I think you're confusing minoxidil and finasteride!
Minoxidil is rather safe when applied topically, you shouldn't take it as an oral tablet as it was originally made for because A) It was discovered as a treatment for treatment resistant hypertension and B) You'll look like Chewbacca. But topically, as drops? It's perfectly fine really.
It's finasteride that makes your dick stop working. Kinda defeats the point of getting your hair back.
I'm glad you replied quickly because he had me searching "minoxidil side effects does it make your dick small 5 years use oh God oh fuck"
It won't make your dick bigger, that's for sure, but it shouldn't make it smaller either, heh.
Sometimes it's prescribed as a combo with finasteride for the people in a real rush, so I guess some of the bad rep rubs off.
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