Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
I solicit psychoanalysis. There are some behavioral patterns that bug me a lot! But I have a hard time articulating what exactly. And why exactly.
Read: Failures in Kindness, The Asshole filter. The aforementioned articles capture some of them, the class of behavioral patterns I am talking about.
Both the articles describe 5 distinct behavioral patterns that I can best describe as sloppy. What they have in common are:
Note that these patterns are not negligent, malicious or particularly difficult to oppose.
Nevertheless, my flight or fight response kicks in when I even imagine someone doing any of these things. Why? I am not big on trying to introspect why I feel the way I do, afterall my brain is a mushy piece of shit running caveman software, and I am best of ignoring what ticks off the lizard.
But seriously why? Why do I feel such scorn, revulsion and anxiety at even the mere thought of these behaviors ? Like I literally think you are a lesser being if you ever committed any of these things.
We have any actually qualified psychiatrists here? Or at least someone who completed their training? (I know Scott has an account, but god knows the last time he used it)
Oh well, guess I don't have competition.
The thing is, from a place of love, LessWrong is a place made by the autistic, for the autistic. And I say that someone who identifies with them and has an account with a decent amount of karma. Half their shtick is formalizing and exploring situations that are naturally/intuitively handled by neurotypicals.
Which is not a knock against it, evidently that's highly valuable to a lot of them.
Leaving aside autism, you're drawing from a pool of very intelligent, highly conscientious and somewhat anxious people. Most of them are nice, and the thought of even accidentally imposing on someone fills them with instinctual revulsion. Nice to a fault even, given that they're busy arguing with how attempts at being kind might be accidentally unkind.
The second post, it's far more universally applicable. If you make it so that all the people who aren't assholes feel like they have to assholish to make it to you, then you're filtering for assholes.
Or people who don't give a shit, at the very least.
If I had to guess, you're also intelligent, hard working, conscientious, considerate of others, and hate feeling like you're coercing them. If that's a psychiatric condition or amenable to psychoanalysis, well I couldn't find it in the DSM-5. Do a lot of coke or become a meth head if you wish to change it, caveat emptor.
That'll be $7250 and change please. Thanks!
I mentioned this before, but I again recommend you read "Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process" by Nancy McWilliams.
Easy to grab a copy on the high seas, you'll find it will expand your view of human behavior outside just the DSM (see: neurosis) and it's written in basic enough English that anyone clinical will get a lot out of it. Hell, I've tossed it at some of my big business family members to help them understand toxic behaviors in finance.
Previously I would have hit you with "no you'll have these patients in every field and it is going to help." Now I am very pleased to hit you with "bruh it's your field, get a bit ahead of it."
I'm already digging into Fish's Psychopathology and the Oxford Handbook, but I certainly will visit libgen again to pick me up a copy!
Talk dirty to me daddy, I still can hardly believe it myself lol.
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