ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
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User ID: 1012
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
11mo ago
Hey, fair enough. If you (the general "you") are so fragile that your will is crushed by the thought of some people thinking you suck, then I guess you should probably just crawl under a rock and die because this fallen world is simply too cruel for you to survive. I don't really have advice for those sorts of people, they have set the victory conditions unrealistically high and made impossible for themselves to win. Personally, I think it's a pathetic cope, a way to rationalize and justify wallowing in your comfortable sty of self-indulgence instead of putting yourself out there and enduring some embarrassment ("those meathead powerlifter bros are just a bunch of assholes anyway! going to the gym is for jerks and I don't want to be jerk!").
Some people really do just want to curl up into a ball of self-pity and wither away into nothing. They , like everyone else, have been given free will, and so ultimately the choice is theirs.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
11mo ago
I've barely been following this but I just want to register my disappointment that the filmer's nationality appears to have been used as a smokescreen to lead people away from no-no opinions, and I fell for it. My initial suspicion was a Pakistani, a nonwhite Asiatic Muslim. A "Bulgarian man" implies a white European Orthodox Christian (inb4 Bulgarians aren't white). But this "Bulgarian" was actually a Turk, a whit(ish?) Asiatic Muslim.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
11mo ago
I'd be interested to hear other's opinions, because that just hasn't been my experience. When I was a scrawny dweeb wearing an ill fitting t-shirt and cargo shorts at the gym doing all my lifts wrong and at pathetic weights, nobody gave me a hard time. I think I've met a jerk at the gym maybe twice in my life, and both times the interactions were brief and the guy clearly had a screw loose. I've had far more interactions where someone gave me a thumbs up or some lifting advice.
If you're talking about people silently laughing at you in their minds, well, if you're that wrapped up about what people might be saying about you in their minds then maybe you're too neurotic to excel at anything.
If I had to update my OP, I'd add something I often tell my sibling: "You're Not As Interesting As You Think/You're Not the Center of Everyone Else's Universe." The fact of the matter is that most people are the center of their own universe. They are thinking about what they are doing, what they plan to do, the music they're listening to right now, which plates they need for the next set. They're not interested in you, and if they see you they spend near zero seconds thinking about you (exceptions for attractive young women). This is easy to verify. How much time do YOU spend thinking about the completely unremarkable randos you pass by in the street? Probably close to zero seconds. About other people in the gym? In the age of phones I mostly see people listening to music or scrolling, other gym goers might as well be invisible.
So I disagree that it's "guidance counselor" advice. It's a mostly accurate depiction of others' behavior. The only exceptions I can think of might be high school or college gyms, but that's just because mamy people are insecure bullies at that stage of life regardless of whether you suck or not.
I'm tired so this post will not be eloquent, but IME it's not just patience but a combination of mental attitudes. Patience is important but it's not everything.
"Commit to Sucking." Life is marathon, not a race. You aren't good at $THING today. You will not be good at $THING today. Or tomorrow. Or next week or month. For some things, like instruments, probably not even next year. Commit to capital-S Sucking at $THING. Realize you will Suck for a while, and just make peace with that. Your run times will be shit. Your violin playing will be shit. Your dance moves will be shit. Get used to Sucking because right now, You Suck. But that's okay because there's good news -- by Sucking every day, you will eventually begin to Suck Less. The only way to fail is to stop trying. If you stop trying you will Suck Forever, a fate worse than death. Few people hate the fat guy in the gym doing his damnedest to bench 1plate. Everyone hates the fat guy on the couch who thinks he's too good to Suck and so makes excuses or does some newfangled get-fit-quick fad diet or workout routine instead of putting in the hard work and humbly submitting to the Suck.
Figure out how to enjoy the process. I hate running, so I listen to audiobooks, buy cool running gear, and run many different routes to not get bored. I hate lifting after a long break from the gym so for the first two weeks I let myself have snacks or little cheat meals after a good workout. I didn't like sucking at my musical instruments, so I learned some fun little songs to mess around with and played them for my kids in between boring exercises. Do whatever you have to do cajole your stupid animal brain into doing $THING instead of scrolling Twitter.
Consistency is key/You're stronger than you think. "Consistency is key" when you are practicing $THING and you're ready to go hard. I usually squat 110kg but today I'm ragin' and I feel like I can squat 130kg CMON LETS GO BABY!! I'm fucking on fire today shredding out this song, I've practiced for an hour but I'm gonna keep going for another hour!! No. Stop. It's a marathon, not a race. Pace yourself. Save that energy for tomorrow's session. On the other hand, "you're stronger than you think" when you're tired. I'm in a bad mood, I don't want to practice my scales or latest song. I only got 4 hours of sleep, there's no way I can go lift today. It's raining outside, I might get a cold. Etc etc etc. You're stronger than you think, just grit your teeth and do it. You can give the Voice of Weakness in your head permission to mentally bitch and moan and whine throughout the whole thing. Just listen to it and nod sympathetically as you go ahead and do $THING anyway while it whines and complains. Just get your daily session in. It's not going to kill you, just do it.
This all sounds like trite self-help nonsense but it legit works for me. I was not consistent or conscientious until my late 20s when I internalized these things. I used to injure myself frequently at the gym and had a billion started-and-abandoned hobbies. Now I focus on a few things and try to take a long view, and I've made good progress over the last few years. Now excuse me I need to get off the couch and go for a run.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
11mo ago
FWIW I too have been going to a nearly-free old man gym in Japan for several years now, and nobody grunts or makes noise (except me, a little, when I'm trying to do my max).
Our regulars are probably 50% withered seniors born in the Taisho era lifting 3kg or stretching. The other half are dudebros (and a scattering of chicks) from the nearby regional university. It's usually pretty quiet in there (well, except for the loud boombox radio in the corner blasting our city's local station at near max volume... I'm always up on the weather and I get to improve my eigo with daily 2 min lessons) but that's probably because the older folks tend not to talk much while exercising. When the college guys are in there it can get a bit noisier, but even then I don't really hear any grunting that's louder than the ambient conversation. I think your Forrest Gump guy might have a screw loose.
P.S. I once attended a Joyfit for a year (sounds like we may have had similar experiences) and at that gym there was one elderly gentlman who would put on a weight belt and make very loud, hoarse shout-grunts that sounded as though he were either suffering through a bout of severe constipation or a round of particularly taxing intercourse, while manipulating a 10kg barbell in variety of ways. And at the Gold's in Harajuku I've seen some Asian bodybuilder dudes clearly on gear get really carried away pushing through sets and egging each other on. But never at my local neighborhood gym.
ActuallyATleilaxuGhola
Axolotl Tank Class of '24
11mo ago
There is a surprising number of southerners.
As both a hiring manager and a grass-toucher, I really do not believe this. Yes, our recruiters, both internal and external, bring in a lot of garbage, but I don't think that's because there are no qualified applicants. It's because in the last ten years, then has been a sharp increase in the offensive capabilities of "bad actors" in the employment market (Indian tech consultancies gaming the visa system, Linkedin spammers) with an especially sharp increase in the last few years due to the adoption of LLMs. It's more difficult for me to judge the quality of an applicant before meeting them by checking their Linkedin, CV, cover letter, or email correspondence. Everyone has learned that all text-based communication can be polished by an LLM, and so typos, poor writing skills, and obvious bullshitting are all easier to avoid (although em-dashes and chatgpt-speak are still giveaways sometimes). I have a lot more screening interviews now that are a waste of time since it's more difficult to vet ahead of a video call.
However, this is probably a temporary state of affairs. Hiring managers and recruiters optimizing for quality will improve their defensive capabilities by inventing new, harder-to-fake vetting procedures. We just aren't there yet, the defense is still catching up.
I dunno, man. This just does not pass the smell test for me. In a country of nearly 350 million people, there aren't enough bright, talented people to fill jobs? I get that companies want to hire a top 1% intelligence/conscientiousness person for their very important software role, but will it doom American industry and creativity if we force them to use the top 5% of the American talent pool instead of the top 1% of the global talent pool? We may move forward slightly slower, but we will also avoid the negative effects of creating a new class of alien elites who see America as merely an economic zone. If we tied work visas to renunciation of other citizenships and the ability to pass civics test or something, I might change my mind a little.
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