Gaashk
5mo ago
I think "trads" propose things like making it easier to raise children on a single salary, and harder to get divorced.
Why not?
Partly because they couldn't use drugs or alcohol for the majority of their adult life. And most women would be having maybe 6 kids -- not that nobody has ever had more, but many women shouldn't for health reasons.
But, also, a good job is, in part, something that structures people's days and weeks, gets them out of the house even if they're feeling a bit depressed and it's cold and dark outside, gets them to interact with other people, and ideally offers some amount of "autonomy, mastery, and purpose." So the gamification idea makes sense. Parenthood can offer some of that, since the parent needs to find a way to care for their children, and will go do things with them, and can generally find some sort of rhythm to the day, week, and year that works for the family, especially as the babies get a bit bigger. Eventually, they can talk and expect different days and holidays and so on, and it's actually pretty fun to decorate with them, or garden together, bake together, and so on. So, as jobs go, stay at home mom is a bit unstructured, but it makes up for it somewhat in progressing in an interesting way, especially with several children. Surrogacy does not offer that. And if some government were to try to institute something like the military, but while pregnant, then it's probably better to join the normal military, and do support stuff while not pregnant.
Gaashk
6mo ago
The new SSC post looks like something you would be interested in, even if it doesn't address family formation directly.
Gaashk
6mo ago
I intend to paint more, and especially figure out how to paint while the children are awake. I've been looking into cold wax and oil painting, and have bought supplies to make some. It's especially good for abstracted landscapes, and has a nice smooth body to it, that's good for scratching through layers and spreading with pallet knives. It is more child friendly than hot wax painting (encaustic), which I like a bit more, but haven't done in years, since I need an actual studio space and several consecutive hours, but has a similar wax finish that refracts light nicely, and allows similar carving techniques.
Gaashk
6mo ago
That makes sense. American Orthodoxy selects heavily for people with Byzantine preferences. When I was Evangelical, some that stood out are Peter, Christian, Bethany -- the Johns that spring to mind are from my parents' generation
Gaashk
6mo ago
People’s comfort music is usually reminiscent of what they listened to as teens. Not sure why they’re so over the top about it, but the preference is unsurprising.
Gaashk
6mo ago
It would certainly depend on what the attempts to fit in with women consist of.
Gaashk
9mo ago
Car seats are annoying. We're going to have to get one without arm rests, doing the seatbelt buckles are just too frustrating.
Gaashk
11mo ago
It's not like she said anything at work
She didn't? Admittedly, I keep the volume off and don't have an Xer account, so maybe I misunderstood what the whole thing was about, but it looked like she was at work?
Gaashk
1yr ago
I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. What trap? What standard for agency? Isn't f3zinker the one asserting without elaboration that women have no agency?
Gaashk
1yr ago
Fair enough, it just seems somewhat at cross purposes with the dream of convincing all of your relatives to spend time there in comparison with, say, orchards.
Gaashk
1yr ago
Three to four can be bigger than two to three, because that's when you have to buy a mini van, at least. Or one of those huge extra row SUVs, but it's pretty difficult to access kids in the back row to help with buckles and whatnot.
Gaashk
1yr ago
Sure, I suppose I was mostly responding to the first two items on the list being "patriarchy, gender norms." I grew up in a conservative homeschooling community, and the families that were more serious about patriarchy and gender norms (also very heavy on "cheerful obedience") than about the other items experienced some poor results. The families that were more serious about the exposure to nature part through small agricultural operations run by the mother and children generally seemed happier.
Gaashk
1yr ago
Maybe that's why I didn't really care for it. I already prefer very low stimulation, and things like meditation sitting alone in the dark.
Gaashk
1yr ago
Interesting, I hadn't really thought about it. I asked my husband, and he is but doesn't mind it. Our religious tradition goes both ways, with no particular opinion on the matter. We'll consider.
Gaashk
1yr ago
The people I knew in Chicago did. But they or their parents are working class and close to the neighborhoods in question. The Irish, Polish, Black, and city worker neighborhoods know. They're mostly people who had to keep working in person through the riots and Covid. I don't have a good understanding of the wealthier neighborhoods. I've also know people who are intergenerational middle class and talk a lot about systemic injustice for work and status, but are weirdly racist in person.
The people I knew in Minnesota didn't talk about what happened in front of me at all, and just hiked or fished alone all through the Spring and Summer of Covid/Floyd.
Gaashk
1yr ago
I don't trust Western institutions to report on this issue fairly
...Well I'm not going to find original Romanian records.
The main personal stories I've heard from Romania in that era were through Orthodox priests talking to other priests and more visible Christians who had lived there, and the enforcement of atheism sounded pretty brutal, so my baseline is "enforcement of preferred state outcomes was pretty brutal."
I think the correct posture here is one of epistemic humility. The birth rate went up. This was due to state policy. Everything else is mostly noise.
To the extent that you're simply observing a fact, and not making any policy proposals, I suppose. And the USSR did make it through WWII intact and modernize significantly under Stalin. No judgement. Everything else is mostly noise.
Gaashk
1yr ago
I found a business casual shirt that fit me well in my closet, and I was able to find the exact same brand/size on Amazon.
Yeah, that sounds like a good use case for Amazon.
I've become accustomed to clothing offerings being incredibly unstable, hence the buying within half an hour of launch behavior. I once bought a dress with some kind of rayon crinkle fabric (what my mother's generation would call "broomstick") that has held up really well, and was my daughter's comfort item for most of a year. I searched to see if I could buy a similar fabric for her, or another dress in that fabric, but I've never seen it again. The same brand and line offered a new broomstick series in the fall, but the fabric was completely different.
My husband and I have found pretty good hiking clothing, and especially footwear at https://www.sierra.com. It's somewhat discount, and has a bunch of brands that I hadn't heard of but have held up fairly well. Also a fan of Duluth Trading Company -- they aren't that cheap, but everything I've gotten there has held up very well. I got a jacket on sale that fits over three other layers without being especially bulky, keeps the wind and snow out, and has lasted six years so far with no signs of giving out. Also a plaid shirt that has a little microfiber strip sewn in for lens cleaning purposes, which has been helpful, which doesn't seem like it will ever wear out. But it does look very upper Midwest hiker.
I once lived in a duplex with my husband and baby for $500/month including utilities, but it was in a small town, and did feel like a closet. I could walk to work there, which was fairly nice. But I'm more confused about spending $1,000 a month on food for one person. We spend about $800 on food for two adults, two children, a baby, and two cats, and aren't trying all that hard. Like, we just ate salmon sushi with miso soup for dinner.
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