practical_romantic
Pretending to be a cs undergrad.
User ID: 975
practical_romantic
2yr ago
You should be man. Life itself is a gift, most of us are above average at literally every singel metric and human beings are the only creatures who can understand divinity, I want to obviously use this happiness to take on more pain in my voluntarily only to withstand and later overcome it. The world works on vae victis but just feeling divinity makes it clear why I have to do what I do and the consequences it has.
It is ones divine duty to do some things, good chance I may the world's worst genetic makeup for anything related to discipline but that does not mean I will stop trying.
I trust Bhagwan enough, I will get where I need to, I hope the same for you.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Yeah, do try it sometime tho, many things do not make sense but that is the essence of being human after all. Things do not have to make sense to the rational mind to be correct. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith, I may never feel romantic love ever again but my love for my god and the culture built around him is beyond anything a man can feel for his woman.
Like a guy I used to hate a lot once said "Leading a life for the pursuit of values higher than life itself is more romanctic than anything one can experience in a romantic relationship of any sort." I think he got this right :).
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I am glad you found it pleasing.
Long and important post about my interaction with the head priest, likely the most important religious figure alive and some other important thoughts about life. Maybe one of the most important posts I have written. tl;dr I found god and finally am happy :).
I got to visit the Shankaracharya ji of Puri. Shankaracharya is the title given to the head priest. There are 4 Mathas(Monasteries of sorts) for Hindus, each assigned one of the 4 vedas, with Puri being assigned the Rig Veda.
He arrived on Monday and leaves today. I have been listening to their YouTube channel (Govardhan Math) where his public interactions are put up for the world to see and was hence excited to finally see him in flesh.
I arrived early at 11 and he was busy at the time so I could not meet him but I did get to interact with one of his young students. His student was tall, fairly lanky and good looking. His head was shaved with just a shikha (some hair at the middle of the head tied up). He was dressed in white robes instead of the usual saffron with white tikas on his body. He was also an engineer who was in a uni as good as mine for his undergrad (i am at a low tier 1 uni in India) who later went to the best Indian uni for his grad school (IIT Kanpur). His first question on knowing that I was an engineer in my final year was about my job situation lol.
I talked with him for a good bit and he was extremely nice to me. He saw the good in me, the kind I did not think I possessed and told me to focus on sorting my life instead of becoming a monk given I am not a brahmin and my role in this world is to hence lead the life of a family, in fact that most brahmins themselves should not become monks. My role is to become good at my craft and help others like him with the preservation of our customs. He was very youthful yet felt extremely grounded and wise beyond his years.
I got back home given that Shankaracharya ji would begin his public interaction at 5 pm, studied some nlp and later went back again to see him. I finally got there and was able to meet other great priests of high knowledge who were extraordinarily humble. One introduced me to Aditya Vahani, a group of sorts that organises these events nationiwde for the matha and do so despite not even having an office. The young people there were very competent and took me as thier own, we later went to the hall and the program began.
Shankracharya ji was greeted with the chanting of ancient mantras, likely the vedas of some sorts and sat on the stage with everyone else sitting below as a sign of respect.
People asked him questions about many different things, from personal issues to politics to theology and he was quick witted, erudite beyond belief and always courteous in his responses. I asked him about whether the Kali yuga is inevtiable and he replied back stating that a good monarch can stop it.
He answered questions for 2 hours after which the event ended and everyone went for dinner that was served as prasada (food that is considered holy, that is the rough translation).
I stayed back and chatted with his student who was recording everything he said on the tripod to edit it later and upload it. He remembered me from my interaction earlier and chatted for a bit. I helped them wind up and he handed over a case to me, instructung me to carry it on my head. When i arrived outside the empty hall, everyone started looking at me as it turns out the case contained Shree Narayana paduka. The sandals of Vishnu would be the english translation. most never get to see them despite years of deovtion I got to carry them so that was something. After that I talked to him for a bit and he told me to do well in life, act like a good devotee and meet him in prayagraj in January for my Janeu (sacred thread ceremony).
I felt amazing, it was the first time in over 18 months that I felt genuinely happy. The colleague of my father who arranged this meeting met me yesterday and told me that god has a plan for everyone, that I should just work and not give up on life given that something good will happen. This got me thinking about my first post I made in January of 2019 and how 4 months later I ended up being in the newspapers for my academic efforts, from a failure to a success of sorts.
The girl I had a oneitis for got a boyfriend and it hurt to hear that but in reality I am glad she is happy. Not getting with her forced me to discover the ways of PUA and that led to me finally not being bitter about women and life. I read this book called the Tyler Digest and two posts I recommend that everyone read from it are "Points of change" and "How you perceive the world".
Girls did not like me, this was not due to my looks (I look alright I think) or because of my status but because I was bitter and they could sense it. I have always had a superiority complex and in 2019 wanted a transfer outta the country because I thought that I was too cool for my uni, actively looked down on literally everyone i met and had a sense of entitlement to compensate for my own inferiority. It failed and now 3 years later, all the kids who I made fun of have job offers and here I am still a month or two away from hitting 200 questions on leetcode. I say this because I am glad that all these bad things happened to me. Bhagwan (hindi word for god) does everything for a purpose and I needed to taste the humble pie to see my shortcomings. I was kicked out of high school and went to do better than all my classmates, I lost the only girl I ever felt anything romantic for and now have the tools to never have issues with dating ever again, I may be down now but but I trust god that things will get better soon.
The two posts are about two important topics. The latter is what I will describe. My younger brother just began uni here and is extremely bitter about life so was mocking the priests but I could see that he did not hate them but rather like me, hated himself which made me re read these posts.How we see the world and other is a reflection of our own selves. This forum and everyone here has always, always said good things to me, at times when i was clearly wrong, genuinely depressed and likely saved my life. People saw the good in me that I was sure I did not have and that is because you people are good. The priests I met have all the reasons to act high and mighty yet they don't.
It is easy to judge others, call people losers and feel that I am higher value than them, my knee jerk reaction to sharing about anyone was trying to demean them so that they would seem less cool than me as my own sense of value is low.
A person who is high value does not act that way, there is some good in everyone we meet and no amount of tactics can make a girl like you as much as genuine happiness that leads to a fun and playful time with her.
The head priest, my father's colleague, my family, my psychiatrist, that girl I liked, all saw the good in me despite there being none and and today I am alive, getting to appreciate little moments of life.
Only Bhagwan can judge people, not me. There is good in everyone, bitterness is never good and there are ways to change this. I do not have any concrete progress this week but I am finally happy in life.
The hole in my heart has been filled, I accept my lowly place in society and am looking towards working my way up. I read Kierkegaard, Nietzsche etc was always sad, accepting that I will never be happy in my baseline but here I am actually happy just to be alive.
All those bad things I did were not so bad after all, I found god and I am glad he chose me. Puri has kept traditions that began thousands of years ago alive and these priests are the only Indians I know who are proud to be indian instead of copying euros. Indians copy them out of a complex that is why girls mock my religiosity. People speak English as a signaling mechanism of where they are socio economically and pick up whatever americans do to look cool, afterall, this is also why I refuse to watch sports or TV shows because it goes against my ideals. I was like this too but have changed quite a bit now given my recent insights. I am proud of my way of life, my forefathers, the culture they left and the ideals they want me to live by.
I have not cussed at, mocked or thought low of people since yesterday and life has been much better. I smile and feel happy just to be alive, just to be able to do all the things I can and to be where I am in life. Sure, I am still fucked in the short term but I finally feel at ease with life.
You are entitled to your labor, not the fruits it bears said Lord Krishna to Arjuna. Took me 2 decades to understand that.
So yeah, even though bad things happened, I got to see the head priest and my life changed completely. I still like that girl but that is more because of neediness, that is fine tho, I do have a feeling I will meet her someday, BF destroying is quite easy given I have done it before lol and I will be a tier 1 lothario after I manhandle the academic and discipline issues in my life starting now. Life has meaning. I look forward to studying and acting how Lord Krishna would want me to act. Instead of my oneitis, every song and thing reminds me of Lord Krishna. I am not lying when I say that. I feel happy.
I finally grew up.
May you find Bhagwan too, may all of us get the best that we deserve.
Narayana Narayana.
side note, I was in the dorms for the first time in my life past Friday for my department day, was out for cigarettes with my friend, we reminisced over our oneitits, hung out with others in the dorms and talked a lot. I do not smoke regularly but it was great. I had fun, slept in his room on the floor, it is the little things in life man, walking aimlessly at night and seeing others go about their life. I finally love uni.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I have my department day today, basically it is like a small one evening fest where at the end people play a bunch of loud music and students dance. Usually just those of your department. I may drink but I stay away from substances usually, should be fun.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
My faith is personal. I am a beginner for now so I have not experienced the entirety of what is to be offered, No one does unless you are named Arjuna (Look up the vishwaroopam of Lord Krishna, Arjuna is given divine vision to experience divinity, he is overwhelmed, breaks down and is determined to fight the war).
It is a long long journey and I am just glad I have begun. Just need to be consistent daily and act better in other areas of my life to be a good devotee, praying has to be followed with action.
I do not preach to my friends or anyone, just writing here since this is one of the higher iq forums with religious people.
I do not meditate for long hours and for now just feel calmness, it is hard to describe how it feels, I did not do it for hours in end but I did feel a level of immersion I have not before but without any noise.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Switching to 531 for beginners this week as the bodybuilding program of doing heavy deadlifts and squats is not good in terms of recovery. Also sleeping and waking up at the same time each day now, the time is 9 pm ideally, 10 if the work is incomplete. I need to begin studying within 30 minutes of waking up, that is another rule I am gonna apply.
Theology is amazing and I am glad I found the Gita, the easiest way to describe it is with the lyrics of this song called "Drowning without you" by Fred V & Grafix (Do check it out). It calms my mind like nothing else and I know that no matter what happens, Lord Krishna is there for me like he was there for my ancestors. No amount of philosophy by any author can touch me like this stuff does. Reading theology and meditating calm my mind like nothing, I can feel time stop and experience God. There is a saying that the proof of divinity is in experiencing it's essence, it is a hindi thing so hard to say it in English but I am glad I found God.
Earlier, I would pray to get better at studying, now I try to get better at studying to show my faith. To take up pain and act, succeed as a showcase of my belief and love towards the Great Lord. I still am a degenerate who will do PUA stuff but my life has direction and no matter what I do, I have Divine Help so no need to worry about failing lol.
..
practical_romantic
2yr ago
You have agency over it ultimately. Do not make my mistakes and take control of it. It is not like heroin addiction, also downvote the fuck out of me the next time I bring up ADHD. My ADHD is not the reason but just a cop out by me to justify incorrect habits.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Likewise 🙏
practical_romantic
2yr ago
i got a prozac prescription along with axepta 18.
I take prozac 20, axepta 18 and viviloref in the morning and viviloref and sove 10 at night for my adhd.
will add calisthenics (ring rows and push ups on off days on my 3x week weight program) to my workout and be more disciplined with my schedule. imo just sleeping on time and sitting down to study asap makes the bulk of differences.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
super squats is a based af program, I do wanna run it in the future.
I'm still not a man, for that I'll need to voluntarily take up pain and suffering only to withstand it and finally overcome only do it with higher quantities daily. Ersnt Junger like there. All this happiness should be enough fuel.
My adventures with women is the only thing I do where I do not take God's name. As far as sleeping with women in relationships goes, every girl I sleep with or even engage in any kind of degenerate behaviour in with is not chaste. She would cheat with someone else, might as well do it with me.
I wouldn't have done it had she been chaste and we're all in our early 20s.
It's hard to describe, I should not want bad for others but somehow I sense she'll always be this way or in reality I won't be alright until I sleep with her.
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