ser
1mo ago
- 28
- CS degree (not a good dev)
- never had a job
- low 7 figures saved up (grinded online from age 12 with minimal spending)
- have social anxiety (moderate, but can be severe in certain situations)
- still live with parents
- no nearby close friends, everyone scattered around the globe
- have never been in a serious relationship. Longest one was 3 months - 2 months long distance, 1 in person. Been completely bitchless for the past 3 years.
That’s me. I recently got injured and was forced to be sedentary and homebound for months. That put me in deep depression and some sort of quarter life crisis. I’ve realized I’ve been living a pretty shitty life ruled by social anxiety. Sitting home all the time, turning down experiences, friendships and relationships left and right, while lying to myself about doing it not because of my condition, but because ‘I’m grinding.’ Now I’m feeling I’ve missed out on so much of my youth. I fucking regret it, but it’s not helpful to lament about the past because I can’t change shit, and at least instead of being a useless slob I did something with my time. Now what the hell do I do now? I’m thinking of going all in on treating the root cause of the problem - my social anxiety. Therapy (CBT), although I’m not too hopeful on its helpfulness, some light meds/supplements (no SSRIs, Propranolol, Selank, vitamins), exercise. And of course exposure therapy. Not sure how to go about it - get some type of public facing job, volunteer or maybe solo travel and live in hostels? Once that’s unfucked, I will move onto other things like my (non-existent) career and relationships. Any advice, thoughts, input on my plan?
ser
1mo ago
I would go on a fun trip, perhaps snowboarding in Hokkaido. Best way to get more comfortable with your money is spending it. Preferably on something enjoyable.
If it had to be an investment, I'd do GOOGL or ONDS. GOOGL - They're kicking ass in AI and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. ONDS - I think they'll get a lucrative government contract soon, currently undervalued imo.
ser
1mo ago
People are forgetting past perfective. You can find oodles of Youtube videos titled "What I wish I knew before I started (whatever undertaking)" and every one of them means "What I wish I had known."
This is so funny to me. I remember being a 10 year old kid taking extra english lessons, getting those tenses drilled into my brain only then to move to America a few years later and never experience anyone use them outside of english class. I'm pretty certain 12 year old immigrant me was more knowledgeable about english grammar than some of the teachers.
ser
2mo ago
You're right, but I think you're misunderstanding the original point of the article. It's not a formula for being reasonably in shape while maximizing enjoyment of your workouts for 15+ years, it's a formula for getting jacked. So, for that purpose alone, I think it's great. Obfuscation of additional complexity like enjoyment is by design because that should come later. I didn't start working out because I wanted an exciting activity to do, I wanted to stop being a long skinny stick. I think most people reading that article are in the same position. Enjoyment, understanding of health benefits and everything else came later. But following a dumb regiment that only required following a couple basic rules and consistency was very important in the beginning.
ser
2mo ago
this is insane, I may know you. We invested in a healthcare startup in Miami that's not doing too hot. Small world.
ser
3mo ago
It has nothing to do with being "radicalized at university" or being in some antifa group or whatever.
Eh, if your assessment is correct, I'd say it's probably a mix of everything. There's levels in between from being raised in a conservative mormon family to shooting a right wing political influencer because he's good at ragebait. Grows up conservative, finally moves out from family home, attends university and gets exposed to liberal ideas, perhaps gets some liberal leaning friends/roommates, has tiktok algorithm change to political slop, successfully gets ragebaited by the slop clips --> "omg charlie kirk is licherally killing my innocent trans boyfriend-roommate-friend with his words" --> takes matters into his own hands.
So university may have been a stepping stone, the algo did most of the heavy lifting and some mental deviations made him unable to handle the slop.
ser
4mo ago
The war may have brought in fresh blood into this 'trade' but this is not a new method by any means. While I'm sure there's variations of how it works, the arrangement I'm familiar with is this: the girl is already doing some kind of explicit content but it's small scale and restricted to her native language audience. She gets approached (usually by another woman that also does this type of content) with an offer to market her through private channels to an english speaking audience for a fee (I don't know exact %). If she agrees, they create a separate account for her with a different alias (that way the managing company doesn't get thrown to the side by the girl once the account gets established) and all the girl has to do is wait and provide content management requests
Got a chance to try propranolol for my social anxiety. Wow, what a fucking miracle. My social anxiety usually manifests itself through physical symptoms - increased heartbeat, shaking, heat flashes, stuttering, running out of breath, etc. 20mg got rid of all of that. Usually I get locked into the anxiety cycle where my symptoms cause me to start getting worried that people will notice my abnormal behavior, thus causing more physical symptoms. Now that I didn't have any physical symptoms, the anxious thoughts were there but didn't have much effect on me. Essentially, in worst scenarios, social anxiety would cause me to go into overdrive physically but now it just makes me a slightly less talkative than usual normal human. Really curious if exposure therapy while on propranolol would have any long term positive effects.
ser
1yr ago
Ground beef with spices/sauces. Throw ground beef in the pan, add any spices/sauces you want. Eat with rice/pasta or put it in a tortilla.
Greek yogurt + honey + banana/any other fruit.
ser
1yr ago
Depends on what you consider being 'famous'. Are we talking about Brad Pitt/Kanye West levels of fame? Or is it 300k followers on instagram-type of fame? Former seems to be way too stressful. Latter wouldn't need many lifestyle adjustments, while still bringing in plenty of fame benefits.
ser
1yr ago
A medium coke at McDonald's is around 200 calories. Google tells me running 1 mile burns around 100 calories. So, if we focus purely on calories, to cancel out 1 coke requires running 2 miles. For an average out of shape adult, I'd assume that would take 25-30 mins. Skipping out on a soda is a whole lot easier than running extra 2 miles to burn it off.
I eat potato chips, I grill a lot of burgers, beef and onion fried rice is a huge go to, slow-cooker pork shoulder is great, cheese is definitely a go, fries or tater tots from the freezer are great, I'm happy to have pizza, and so on. It's not comically bad or anything, and I don't have a sweet tooth, but I just eat a lot of basically whatever I want.
I'm a lot like you. I also eat pretty much whatever I want. My only restriction is not eating carbs/sweets right before bed because that fucks up my sleep, but other than that I never restrict myself in anything. However, I never drink soda or eat fast food. It's just something that I rarely consider for my meals, probably because my family put big emphasis on home cooked meals when I was a child. But I'm most definitely an outlier. Many of my peers live off take out, fast food, frozen meals, quick grubs at Starbucks for lunch. They also don't exercise consistently. For people like that, if they ever decide to lose some fat, cutting out a couple things from each meal would put them at maintenance calories or slight caloric deficit. Or they would have to add an hour or two of physical activity per day. We both know which one would be easier for them.
ser
1yr ago
Fair enough. To me, it just sounds like something an edgy teen/twenty-something guy that watches too many tiktoks/ig reels would say to own brother/friend to sound cool. I'm myself in that age range and have been around people with similar attitudes. But regardless, if that's truly what motivates him, more power to him.
ser
1yr ago
I really doubt that it's his real reason why he's hitting the gym so hard. For me, after around 3 months of hitting the gym consistently without skipping, it actually became really enjoyable and now I'm looking forward to every workout. I feel on top of the world after every workout, the mental clarity and physical pump is incredible. I thin your brother is addicted to that.
ser
1yr ago
I get sleepy midday even if I get full 8+ hours of sleep unless I'm physically active the whole day. I usually just take 20-30 min nap and that fixes it. I'm in my mid 20s.
What product/service has had significant impact on your quality of life? For me, it was a nice standing desk and a nice office chair (Herman Miller Embody). I don't even stand much at my desk, but being able to make minor adjustments to its height has been very useful since most desks are too short for me.
ser
1yr ago
What product/service has had significant impact on your quality of life? For me, it's was a nice standing desk and a nice office chair (Herman Miller Embody). I don't even stand much at my desk, but being able to make minor adjustments to its height has been very useful since most desks are too short for me.
ser
1yr ago
Three things to achieve the goals you've listed: Exercise, sleep, diet. For a beginner like you, consistency is the most important thing when it comes to working out. For example, tell yourself you will hit the gym 3 times a week and stick to it no matter what. Even if you half ass at the gym (but hopefully you won't), you will still see progress simply from staying consistent (especially with those beginner gains). After around 1 month, it will be second nature for you to hit the gym so it won't be as difficult. In terms of sleep, just make sure you get 7+ hrs every day and you will be golden. I've had lots of issues with this, I'd go to sleep late then sleep through my alarms, wake up at random times, etc. Only way I could fix this was make it so I wanna take a shit in the morning. Now I'm awake at 8-10am without any alarms no matter what because my body gotta do its thing. Maybe you won't have that issue since you got a job that probably makes you wake up at the same time every day. For diet, this is my weakest part. I don't have the willpower to track what I eat nor actually eat as much I need, so it's hurting my progress a lot. At my age/weight/height, I have to eat 2.7k calories a day minimum, but I'm probably eating around 2.2k at most and it already feels like I'm stuffing my face. If you think you're like me and foresee having same issues with diet, I suggest taking it slow and just focusing on your protein intake only.
Oh, and last suggestion, take well lit body pics for reference, you will want to see how much you've progressed in the future.
I can recommend you an interesting pub. It's cowboy themed, ran by an old Japanese gentleman that's obsessed with country music. It's tiny, seats like 5 people at once, so it's likely it will be just the 2 of you + the owner there, but it's worth it if you wanna sing some country songs and hear about owner's country music lore (went to America, was in a band, etc.). Name is 'PINE FIELD', address: 3-2, yotsua, shinjuku-ku, Tokyo. Owner's name is SunShine Matsuno.
ser
1yr ago
Have you tried reframing your conversations about this topic? Instead of saying focusing on her weight gain, how about taking a health angle? If your wife (and maybe you too) have unhealthy eating habits like eating too much processed foods/takeout, you could say that you're worried for your (collective) health and want to eat healthier. That way you'd be both addressing the problem of her gaining weight, but also involve yourself so that she doesn't feel she's getting attacked by you.
ser
1yr ago
You're not wrong. But the goal of this technique is to make myself feel better in the moment. I'm much better at managing bad mindset on a good day.
I'm in my mid twenties, and I've recently realized that all the friends I've made after getting out of high school have been of superficial/situational type. I've had gym friends, with whom I'd hit the gym with. I've had party friends, with whom I'd hit the bars and clubs with. Then I've had hobby X/Y/Z friends, with whom I'd do those hobbies with. Those relationships never went beyond those common interests, and once either I or them stopped participating in our common interest, our relationship would fizzle out. I have the opposite experience with my childhood friend group. We barely have anything in common nowadays, but I know I can call any of them up and ask for help or talk about something absolutely random. I've never achieved that level of trust/closeness with friends I've made as I've gotten older. Is it what adult friendships are like or is it just me not being able to navigate social games? On one hand, I've been thinking it's on me - I've realized that all these new friendships require effort to maintain and progress. If I don't invite my gym bro friends to do other things with me, then our friendship will stay at the gym bro level forever. On the other hand, it seems a lot of people take that passive position, so always having to be the one that organizes things feels forced and doesn't grant much confidence in that relationship.
ser
1yr ago
The biggest thing that helped me cope with bad days is realizing that there will be good days in the future. I just think of the good times I've had recently and tell myself I'll experience those feelings again in the near future. It doesn't even have to be complex experiences, even just thinking about a song I really enjoyed recently usually helps. It doesn't cure depression/sadness but at the very least it prevents me from getting sucked into the doomer spiral. That way my shitty days don't turn into shitty weeks.
As for other things, I can relate to some of them. I'm not sure how to get out of that mindset though, so can't really help, sorry.
ser
3yr ago
"Stole client funds" appears to have solidified as a meme much the same way "crossed state lines" had in the Rittenhouse case.
He legit stole client's funds though. They were supposed to be idle just sitting in cold storage. Instead the guy directly routed them to Alameda (For FTX US, the bank account that you would deposit your money to is Alameda's) and gambled with them by placing huge directional bets. And that's ignoring all the real estate and donations that he has done that also came from these funds too.
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