falling-star
21d ago
Hello Motte Friends!
A while ago I posted about a plan to get a girlfriend. Life threw up a lot of curveballs, so I ended up holding on the plan to push online dating. I didn't completely slack though. Here's the stuff I said I'd do, versus what actually happened.
- Lifting: Have been doing Stronglifts 5x5 mostly consistently since my last post. My friend is my gym buddy, and we keep each other consistent. I squatted 210lbs this week. I've always been skinny (currently 5'11 155lbs), so even these beginner gains are making me look better. It feels nice to be more physically capable.
- More fashionable clothes: Got those and a better haircut. I'm getting compliments on my appearance.
- Skincare: Couldn't stick with it. Seemed to improve my complexion the day of, but not over the medium term. A friend suggested new products, I'll make another attempt with those soon.
- Professional photos: Didn't happen, temporary money troubles
- Contacts: Didn't happen, money troubles
- Read Models: @crntwx suggested this. I read about a third of the book so far, have been trying to change my thought process and self perception in line with it's suggestions. It's a real crusade 😂, real "draw the rest of the owl", but worth doing.
- Sleep: Honestly pretty bad in terms of hours and schedule, probably the number one thing hurting my charisma.
- General habits: Spending WAAAY too much time on the internet doomscrolling, number two drag on my charm.
Advice Request:
- I get a big improvement in mental state after lifting, but it's after work 3 times a week. I used to improve my mental state by running, but my legs can't handle that and squats at the same time. What could I do on off days/daily?
falling-star
21d ago
Hello Motte Friends!
I've been getting more involved in my local rave scene as part of my effort to get a girlfriend. This post is part an anthropology post like @self_made_human's, part progress report, and part discussing strategy
What the scene is like
- The motto is Peace, Love, Unity, Respect (PLUR). A general attitude of being accepting, vulnerable, and spreading positive vibes prevails. Drug use is common, but not nearly as universal as outsiders think. It only takes a minority of people to completely change a groups vibe (IMO for the better). Contact high is real.
- The accepting attitude means you get a wide range of people and subcultures. You'll often see PhDs and tradesmen chatting. It's extremely internet influenced. I tell people the main way to tell if an event is a rave or just a club night is the presence of animal ears. God bless neko girls.
- The music and dancing is nominally the main reason everyone's there, but half the action is floating around and chatting with people off the dance floor. Most people are way more open to conversation and connection than normal.
- There are different tiers of events (duh). The biggest ones have the most single girls, but they're so loud and crowded it's hard to talk to them. The smallest ones are mostly attended by the people that go to every event, almost all the girls there are taken. There's a real goldilocks zone in between the two.
- Lots of events are invite only or minimally advertised. The people that go to every event are often part of the crew for these. These are often ideal places to meet people. Almost every event has an after party. Getting invited usually requires knowing someone on the crew.
What I did, how it turned out
- I went to every event I could and brought a polaroid camera. I went around, walking up to random people and offering to take people's pictures. The acceptance rate was around 95%.
- This almost always lead to a follow up conversation and me becoming friendly with their circle for the rest of the night. I would be gifts or invites to other events.
- I tried using this as an in to talk to the beautiful girls in elaborate costumes I saw at every event. They all ended up asking for photos with their boyfriends, which I obliged. Rule of thumb I learned was the more complex the outfit, the more likely they're taken.
- In terms of romantic results, I made out with one girl after taking her picture. That didn't go anywhere after I learned she was poly. I used polaroid as an icebreaker on behalf of my friends, resulting in one hook up and one date. Girls who I'm not interested in sometimes flirt with me.
- I made friendly with one particular crew to the point I'm invited to every event they're involved with + after parties. In that social circle way more people know me and my name than the other way around. Is this the social proof thing people talk about?
- I got cool with their organizer, who unironically knows hundreds of people. I asked him to introduce me to potential partners and he agreed. Hasn't happened yet but he says he's looking.
Advice/Difficulties
- I don't know how to dance with other people, especially how to dance up to a girl to get her attention. Any advice here? I often find myself dancing faster than everyone else.
- At these events I'm talking to a lot of people, but it stays surface level, light hearted. I don't really know how to flirt. I've been told I'm attractive when the conversation gets passionate or philosophical, but I don't know how to guide a conversation there.
falling-star
29d ago
I'm a cum boy. I think there's at least 5 other regular posters that are too.
falling-star
1mo ago
If the guys telling me there's no fire smells light gasoline and has ash on his shoes, yeah I won't believe him.
falling-star
1mo ago
The average hard (cocaine or worse) drug consumer generally doesn't have the patience to wait a few weeks for an order to ship. They likely also lack the IQ, agency, or tech ability to figure out how to use the dark net market and crypto.
falling-star
2mo ago
The McVeigh story as understood in the popular consciousness is incomplete at best and outright wrong at worst. I'd recommend anyone wanting to learn more to read Aberration in The Heartland of the Real.
falling-star
3mo ago
Probably 90-95 mph. I don't have a great car though.
falling-star
3mo ago
Naw bro I'm a white guy from New England.
falling-star
3mo ago
IDK man, every girl I've been with has enjoyed the info dumps. I think if they think you're cute they're down for the excited babble.
falling-star
3mo ago
Christ. How does the kid even come back from that situation. The default answer is "therapy", but I don't have high hopes.
falling-star
3mo ago
I'm out of the startup accelerator program now. I grew up a lot and got disabused of a lot of delusions over those months. I might have developed the smallest sense of pride in my accomplishments. Now I'm back in my home city and old bad habits are creeping up on me again. They're not as bad this time though. 5 steps forward, three steps back.
My big thing for the foreseeable future is to try and find a girl. I would appreciate feedback and advice on my plan below.
My current theory (based off when I got past gfs/hook ups), is that I'm at my most attractive when I feel full of will and energy. So for the next month I'm going to focus on building that up through good sleep, regular exercise, and other good habits. I'm also trying to improve my appearance through starting a skincare routine, lifting, and buying more fashionable clothes.
Once the month is up, I'll start trying to get dates. I'm thinking a two pronged approach. First I'll try making a profile on Hinge, with professional photos and advice from my Chad tier friends. Second I'll attend every rave/EDM event I can and talk to girls there. I already have a few connections in that scene. Last time I went to an event I brought a polaroid camera and went around offering to take free pictures for people. This gave me an excuse to talk to anyone and seems to be building a positive reputation. I'm going to keep doing it at all future events.
I wear glasses, in the past contacts have been too irritating to feel worth it. Should I just suck it up?
The two recent top level CW posts about dating have been kinda demoralizing, but I'm keeping my chin up.
falling-star
5mo ago
I think you're onto something, but there is an element of reeling people in with these sorts of evil initiations. I think the jailbait entrapment is the first step. Then they either get girls that are progressively younger, or they encourage the mark to act progressively rougher, or both. There's probably some level of drug use to facilitate this. Something like cocaine or amphetamine would decrease inhibitions, increase aggression and sexual desire, and numb feelings of empathy.
I agree with you that there's a cabal of ghouls operating high up in the realms of power. But I think this cabal is better modeled as a self perpetuating group of evil elites actively seeking out other elites to corrupt and blackmail into joining. I don't think it makes sense as a "you must be this evil to join" club.
Regarding taste... I think there are a lot of evil appetites that increase as they feast. Many of the people strung along or blackmailed into extreme sadism or pedophilia may come to like it over time. Then they go on to perpetuate the cabal.
falling-star
6mo ago
It's one thing to know statistically people are doing pedophile shit in other countries or at home without being noticed by police. It's another to know a prominent guy is doing it for years and inviting the famous and powerful to participate. He did it for years before getting caught the first time, then he got a slap on the wrist. Then he did it for more years, got caught, then got killed before he could say who else was involved. That's where the zeal comes from.
falling-star
6mo ago
One of the biggest things I had to deprogram myself of was the idea that consent is all that matters in terms of sexual ethics. Giving someone what they ask for can be the wrong thing. But that doesn't make it rape.
falling-star
7mo ago
This feels like a fully general argument against government secrecy.
falling-star
7mo ago
I'm still plodding through Blood Meridian. The prose is so goddamn beautiful, but I can't engage with it unless I'm close to 100%. Was listening to The Dead South and they gave me the urge to pick it up again.
falling-star
7mo ago
His front door.
falling-star
7mo ago
Hello motte friends. Just want to post and say I'm doing pretty good. Happy even. I'm appreciating my ordinary life. My startup recently ended up in an accelerator and that's really cured my work related feelings of alienation. Been putting deliberate effort into improving relations with my friends and family. That's paid off very quickly. I'm not feeling the whole glowing high power level I felt the week I wrote detailed logs of everything I did, but that's alright.
I'd like a lover to keep, and honestly a wife is starting to sound appealing. Work keeps bringing me to New York, things seem a lot easier there. Big hopes, good vibes.
falling-star
7mo ago
I'll take you up on that deal. No venmo though. Crypto is the preferred way to take money from internet people. I take Bitcoin, Ethereum, or Monero.
falling-star
7mo ago
I made my own currency for my party. I borrowed a friend's 3d printer. Neither of us really knew how to use 3d modeling software, but we were able to fumble through modifying someone's game token into a coin with my initials. We made 48 of them, two of the prints were kinda fucked up and discarded.
Coins were distributed evenly at the start of the party and everyone pitched in as new guests showed up. Observed uses were:
- Making someone a mixed drink (1 coin)
- Getting something out of a car (1 coin)
- Cleaning up someone else's spill (3 coins)
- Messing with the party playlist (1 coin)
- Rights to last bits of food/drink (1 coin)
- Gambling on outcomes of others' games (Max pot size 12 coins)
Seems like people valued them at 1 coin == 1 favor. Next time I want to experiment with different denominations and see if more price granularity develops.
falling-star
7mo ago
Great post. I've had a lingering suspicion that most social conflicts are between the same impulses we've had for thousands of years. Maybe I gotta finally read the Republic. Is there a translation you recommend? Any prerequisite baseline level of familiarity with Greek?
falling-star
7mo ago
They frequently pre-screen applicants before they ever go in front of an engineer or manager.
falling-star
7mo ago
I'm really on board with your first paragraph but not your second. Despite being used like it, bail is not and should not be a form of punishment. It's a way to convincingly vouch that you'll show up to a trial.
I have very mixed feelings about bail funds. I lived in Seattle and watched them repeatedly bail out violent criminals who would go on to do entirely foreseeable violent crime. At the same time, these people haven't been convicted of anything. Knowing someone's guilty is enough to put them on trial, but not enough to keep them in jail.
falling-star
7mo ago
Holy mother of based. Sometimes things do happen.
Shoot man, I was just there yesterday, I woulda met up. I had a good time wandering the High Line in Manhattan. If you care about architecture it's basically a site seeing tour for that. There's a great quality yet cheap Japanese place called KENKA on Saint Marks Place. $7 for a bowl of hearty ramen and $7 for a 20oz bottle of beer with good vibes. Otherwise don't forget to check out central park. It really does live up to the hype.
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