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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   1048 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for March 11, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

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Week two of trt.

80 mg twice a week Subcutaneous.

Before numbers were 280 total test and 5.3 free test. Cholesterol was meh but not bad. Glucose was meh but not bad.

Really pretty excited.

I love the gym and it’s nice to be going steady again after a five ish year break.

You know, sometimes I wonder where my t levels are at. How’d you find out you had an issue with it and what symptoms did it cause for you?

I’ve vaguely felt the same for a while.

Which is to say pretty good in general.

But definitely energy is less, less sharp than I remember, worse sleep, just overall less good than I would want everything to be.

Get it checked out - skip the doc and do quest if it’s easier for you. They have all kinds of tests and they take insurance.

Before numbers were 280 total test

What's your age? That seems quite low and a good thing you're starting TRT.

42 - also fat 6ft5 285

However 10 years ago my test was about 320 and 10 years ago I had no car and was bicycling everywhere and at the gym 5x a week

It’s almost 100% due to my very heavy drinking in my early 20’s - live and learn.

Fancy sharing it with us, so we can put words in your mouth and interpret everything you said in the most maximally uncharitable light?

I want to be the one to imply that OP is shamelessly lying when he tries to 'correct' those maximally uncharitable interpretations.

My spreadsheet of first dates has a new high-scoring candidate. Third date scheduled. Vibe's similar to last time, but unlike last time, she's a) actually compatible on what we want out of life, and b) comparably interested (afaict). So that's delightfully terrifying.

The secretary problem says I'm done here unless I want to spend another ~5 years at the current (nontrivial) rate of meeting people, which I fucking don't.

Absolutely and unironically based behavior. Good luck! Probably don't tell her about the spreadsheet or the applied mathematics, at least before she's hopelessly smitten.

Math yes, spreadsheet no. I think I even mentioned the sqrt n expected value optimization version. If that's not first date behavior, I'm not sure what is.

I'll manage to keep the existence of the spreadsheet to myself for a minute, probably. I brought it up once on a first date that I had already decided I was not going to request a second of, and it was actually a very interesting conversation.

I'm 5'9" and mid looking at best. Just two nerds on a date, and the whole "FAANG and wants kids" thing. I figure scare off anyone who isn't compatible, expediently.

Aw, that’s sweet.

The secretary problem

Did you ever figure out what the secret the actuaries know, beyond the secretary problem, to scoring candidates? I seem to recall they were notable outliers in terms of making things last. Do you have an actual spreadsheet? I wonder if any actuaries can do some freelance analysis on it to double check the calculations.

Or you know, if the vibes are good, congrats.

@lagrangian

We're risk averse and generally nerdy, so the odds of ending up in a better situation after divorce if we already got lucky enough to outkick our coverage once are not great ;)

I had to look up the actuaries reference - lowest divorce rate, neat. That kind of makes sense to me - if you're used to systematizing complex things and making mathematically optimal decisions, maybe you have good general judgement. It's a little surprising in that math != emotions, but maybe for (especially a pair of) such minds, it works.

Definitely have an actual spreadsheet. It's a fascinating artifact of my life. Basic ratings, number of dates, p(get to date i | got to date j), who ended it, that kind of thing.

New year's resolutions check-in:

  • Posted my sixth blog post of the year on Monday, about how it absolutely is a lie for journalists to describe the perpetrator of the Tumbler Ridge shooting as a "woman" without any qualification. Expanded from several comments I posted here arguing that exact point.
  • Went to the gym three times last week and again last night, planning to go again this evening. After three sets of deadlifts at 1.8x my bodyweight, my lower back was very stiff for the rest of the week. This has been a recurrent issue and there's obviously something fundamentally wrong with my deadlift form, so my plan now is to go down to a much lower weight so I can correct it, then steadily work my way back up. Can deadlift 1.8x my bodyweight for 3 reps, squat 1x for 8 reps and bench press .85x for 6 reps.
  • Have not consumed any pornography since waking up on January 1st.
  • Have completed 9/11 modules in the SQL course. Planning to do the tenth this evening.

How goes it, @thejdizzler and @birb_cromble?

This has been a recurrent issue and there's obviously something fundamentally wrong with my deadlift form

It might also be that your hamstrings are too tight more than anything about your form. Even good form with tight hamstrings can aggravate your lower back.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll try that this evening.

My only new years resolution this year was to count my calories using an app. I pretty much ended up not doing it after three weeks because it felt cumbersome and inaccurate around big batches of homecooked food. Once I get done with this accelerator program maybe I'll get back on it. As is I have very little downtime to cook, surviving mostly off takeout and energy drinks.

When you are cooking at home, use a kitchen scale. Bounded inaccuracy for basic staples like potatoes and bread and all that is fine. Oils, fat and sugary stuff is more calorie rich and warrant more careful estimation. You have to figure out your favorite recipes only once.

Also try to make an estimate of your calories expenditure. Most apps do this, too. Finally, most important, track your weight. If you are trying to increase muscle mass, try to get estimate of related to that, too. I am a couch potato, I track my waist circumference.

Point of all this, accuracy It is nice if you can get exact estimates of your base metabolic rate of whatever, but for most purposes people usually count calories with the purpose of changing how much their body weights. So if your weight remains same for a week or two, you know your average calorie intake matches your average expenditure. If your calculations differ, remember that you need a fudge factor to make them match. In order to actually change anything, it's a matter of adjusting your daily physical activity and food consumption in your desired direction.

After a while, you get a knack for it and have rudimentary understanding of the content of most foodstuffs you consume. I found a new-found love for boiled potatoes, tasty yet low energy density.

Little tip for homemade/ restaurant meals; take a photo, upload to chat and ask how many cals. I've found it to be decently accurate in tests.

Spending this year is $1,357.12 less than this time last year.

Gas prices going up $0.50 overnight was a real kick in the balls, but I am doing my best. I am hoping to keep things low enough this month that I can handle my upcoming dental entirely through cash flow. It'll be cutting it close, but it's nice to have a goal.

Gas prices going up $0.50 overnight was a real kick in the balls, but I am doing my best.

A month ago (because I'm a nerd and track it), I paid $1.20/gal less than I paid today, and I only got today's half-tank because otherwise I'll be paying even more in a week. One of those days where I think about the headline from this Onion article.

My resolutions were to quit nicotine, alcohol and video games.

I haven't succeeded at any of them, but I'm a bit bored of videogames right now, nicotine pouches are being banned in France next month so that'll force the issue, and I'm drinking more often but less heavily so the hangovers have stopped being an issue.

I think I've already got some good positive habits that I do automatically if I have the time but they're all downstream of not having a messed up sleep schedule, and the above 3 things are the main contributers to that.

You want to go completely teetotal, for good?

No I don't think I could do that, there are good times to drink alcohol. I would like to quit fully for a few months though and then make drinking the exception rather than a habit.

  1. Work: Trying to implement some of Cal Newport's Deep Work ideas, and am realizing that my focus is shot, need to plan better. Wrote out a plan this morning of all the experiments that I need to do to graduate, and it seems very achievable. Starting to look for postdoc positions as well as industry jobs in Baltimore.
  2. Fitness: 7.5 hours (only running) last week. Foot is a little sore, so going to a). focus on cross training this week and b). make sure I stretch better.
  3. Intellectual Stuff: Limiting myself to one YouTube video and one blog post a day. Focusing on US history in English, and reading fiction in the Spanish and Italian. In the spirit of Cal Newport trying to only do one of these each day (Spanish, Italian, history reading) and give my full attention to it.
  4. Finances: This month is looking like it's going to be very light on expenses. We're halfway through and I've only spent $1200, and that includes rent. Still working on my parents' transfer.
  5. Dating: Have been really bad with masturbation this week, but no porn.
  6. Tarot: Didn't do this week.
  7. Socializing: Thesis defense party for my friend, workout Wednesday and probably swing dancing friday.
  8. Screen time: 1.5 hours again, which is pretty surprising, given I was on my phone for a lot of the conference.

Systems goals this month:

  1. Prioritize exercise, this is the year I go big.
  2. Reduce screen time via a combination of hard locks and behavioral change
  3. Simplify my life as much as possible!

Reduce screen time via a combination of hard locks and behavioral change

You might have already taken this step (I don't recall from your past posts), but a simple way to drop screen time is to never take a phone into the bathroom with you.

I've been trying to get into the habit of reading my book on the loo for this very reason.

Dont spend any time on the toilet you don't need to! Your butthole will thank you.

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