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I recently spoke to a cute med student on the dating apps, same med school as my younger brother.
She tells me she knows my brother. I mean, who doesn't? He's a looker, all the girls and a good quarter of the guys want to know him, in the biblical sense, but she wasn't so crass. All good.
She she says she knows my dad. Okay.. But I've heard worse.
She goes on to say that not only are our parents colleagues, they're from the same med school. What a coincidence!
I ask my brother about her. You know, due diligence. He gives me a look, and tells me to keep my filthy paws off her if I know what's good for me. Huh. That's new. I swear he's never had that particular reaction before, and I wanted to know why, but he just shook his head, asked me to confirm her surname, and wandered off.
Then she says that hey, your dad was visiting our place just a month or so back, how's he doing? Quite well, thank you for asking. What field of medicine are your parents in? Gynecologists themselves?
I matched into psychiatry. Then I found out, after a very reasonable amount of flirting, that I had matched with my psychiatrist's daughter on a dating app. I told her that I had literally called him a month back to share the good news. The former, the latter was nothing but bad.
My dad delivered her by c-sec. He does that to a lot of people, it's not a very exclusive club, after all, how could it be, when I'm a member?
My fucking brother, he was laughing his ass off in the next room, the walls, while thick, weren't nearly enough to hide the chortles or my beet red face. Then the asshole goes on to tell my parents about her, and I limp back home from work, only to have my dad ask me if I want to marry her.
I chuckle and throw my employee ID card somewhere it won't be missed. Then I take a good look. He's not joking. This is the opposite of good, but what am I good at except brushing off commitment?
No? Then stop fucking around, SMH (he's also shaking his head, and I mine). She's a Good Girl™, studious, from a respectable family. You want to get married? I can call her dad right now. He's not kidding either. I thought I was dead inside, but apparently it's always possible to make room for desert and to make what's already dead roll over and die again.
I assure him that as someone about to move countries and stay in Scotland for 3 years and change, marrying an Indian med student only halfway through her course is the ABSOLUTE LAST THING I want to be doing.
Ah, but they're well off enough, and so are we. We could fly her out every six months or so to see you.
-_-
My mom was in the room and giggling her ass off. Thank you for the moral support mom.
I tell my dad that I don't think a healthy marriage involves the newly weds living a continent away, seeing each other every blue moon. He doesn't seem all that fussed, and I realized that roughly summed up the first few years of his marriage, given how he was on the sigma grindset. I suppose there's a reason they had their honeymoon when I was three years old. No, I tell him, given that if there's ever going to be a shotgun wedding, her dad will be the one wielding one, only to keep me at bay. He's my fucking shrink, he knows things. He'd need a shrink himself if he let me anywhere near his cute and nerdy daughter, and I'm not licensed yet.
At this point, my mom asks me if I care to examine the latest batch of single ladies lovingly handpicked out for me by my aunt in London. I've well and truly had enough, I stomp out of there with steam, tinted pink with dying brain tissue, hissing out of my ears.
My life is a farce. Joke's on me. So are the drinks, but only because I'm going to be downing a lot of them.
Why don’t you marry her? Only a couple of years of seeing each other every few months, then she’ll I’m sure have a foot in the door to live in Scotland with you. Your family thinks it’s a good idea, her dad would definitely know if it isn’t. You should just go for it.
Marriage is very much something I'd prefer to do after getting to know someone, preferably live with them in advance to test the waters, and finally, have it not be an utter ballache to manage my own life around, given that I only know for a fact where I'll be for 3 years, even 5 or 6 is stretching it.
At least consider the girl's perspective, she encounters a family friend's son on a dating app, is kinda taken by him, but for the love of god, we've got both matrimonial websites and dating apps around. I assure you we didn't meet on the former, and it wouldn't just be jumping the gun, it would be sodomizing it, for either of us to leap straight to marriage.
Neither of us want to get married! She's only halfway through med school! I'm moving abroad. How on earth is that going to work unless we were childhood sweethearts holding a candle out for each other?? The last time I was at her place, I was probably younger than 10 and she must have been barely out of toddling around, I didn't even know she existed until this happened.
Ahhhhhhhhh
Is it considered honourable to have an extended betrothal?
Uh.. I don't think anyone cares.
Maybe conservative Muslims. The girls I knew who got married off in med school had been engaged well before theys started.
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