farhakhalidi.substack.com
It's an essay about the various flaws modern feminist sex positivity culture has for women, and that it's often a good idea to refrain from sex even if one isn't religious. The author is an Only Fans model for context. I thought it did a great job laying out the downsides of ubiquitous sex.(Reposted because I accidentally linked to reddit instead of the original essay earlier).
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Notes -
Reading femcel accounts/anecdotes are always.... Grating. I hate it.
Did the women in the story suffer? Yes. Is this a suboptimal scenario for most women were the modal experience is getting pumped and dumped? Yes.
It's grating because men are always painted as evil in these articles and it's only the 5% of men they interact with off of the apps being talked about.. No shit lady, what were you expecting?
Seriously? What even is the solution for women here? Expecting agency from them is a non starter, most men applying their agency won't work in this app mediated world, seems to be a coup complete problem.
The solution is for women to apply their own agency and to stop sleeping with those 5% of men who are dirtbags.
The dirtbags eventually settle down and get married. To a great extent they are just following social norms. Sex comes early now. You figure out if you like someone after. It’s honestly bad manners not to sleep around if large parts of society.
It is a testament to how completely fucked up our relationship norms are that sex by the third date is not considered a big deal, but dropping the L-Bomb (saying "I love you") is huge. The modern dating script is that you fuck someone before deciding whether you love them or not. And you move in with them before getting married. It's absurd.
welcome to Bonobo World, how you doin'?
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