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PaperclipPerfector  7mo ago (text post)   3086 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 6, 2024

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I need some advice.

My depressive 22yo nephew just came out as MTF trans, is changing his name, and will be starting hormone treatment. It’s a huge shock: he’s been depressed for years, is mildly autistic, but he’s a gamer and has had manosphere opinions in the past so I would never have thought this possible.

This terrifies me because my 5YO son is also mildly on the spectrum and is impressionable. Now that this is “in the family” I am worried he will cotton on to it.

My personal view on trans is neither here nor there, but for the record I think it’s a mental illness spread by social contagion (like anorexia). This may be incorrect, but if it is, what model should I have for this?

My primary concern is to minimize the odds my son becomes trans, or becomes confused, exposing us to questions from his school, etc.

How should I handle this? What should I tell him about his cousin? What would you do?

I mean, be honest that his cousin is mentally ill leading to delusions. Trying to sugarcoat his delusions to make them 5yo palatable will do nothing but make him feel more willing to imitate the cousin.

If you do this, just be aware that it'll almost certainly come out because children have no filter at all. A 5 year old is very likely to go "Dad says you're mentally ill!" at some inappropriate time.

A 5 year old is very likely to go "Dad says you're mentally ill!" at some inappropriate time.

@Highlandclearances Do you talk politics with the kid at all? Is he mentally developed enough to understand the idea that “there are some things we could get in big trouble just for believing”, & to grasp the severity of “big trouble means that they might even take you away and you'd never get to see us again”?

There are a very small number of cases of kids claiming to be trans and being taken away from parents who don’t ‘affirm’. These cases seem to have other, actual, child abuse going on, but I’ll concede that it’s possibly a legitimate danger to lose a trans child for being opposed to transgenderism.

I’m not aware of any parents losing custody for opposing transgenderism when the child is cis.

I’m not aware of any parents losing custody for opposing transgenderism when the child is cis.

I'm not aware of this ever actually happening, but Scotland's recent hate speech bill makes it a legal possibility for someone to be arrested for a political opinion they expressed verbally in the privacy of their own home, and "gender identity" is a protected characteristic in Scotland.

There are a very small number of cases of kids claiming to be trans and being taken away from parents who don’t ‘affirm’. These cases seem to have other, actual, child abuse going on

I agree that the number is small, but how are you getting the idea that there was other abuse in these cases?

but I’ll concede that it’s possibly a legitimate danger to lose a trans child for being opposed to transgenderism

California was one step away from legally mandating that possibility. What makes you think that non-affirming = abuse is not a popular belief among social workers?

There are a very small number of cases of kids claiming to be trans and being taken away from parents who don’t ‘affirm’ … I’m not aware of any parents losing custody for opposing transgenderism when the child is cis.

How do you factor out / mitigate the toupée fallacy there?

I’ll concede that it’s possibly a legitimate danger to lose a trans child for being opposed to transgenderism.

My recommendation was a specific instance of the general case of just giving your (non-abused) kids yearly don’t talk to the police training, a great first step towards keeping them out of the clutches of the poorly-run infrastructure that's supposed to target other people. Admittedly the technique isn't exactly “asymmetric”, but to the extent it's cheesing the system — well, if the good parents don't use it, it won't stop bad parents from using it anyway.

I’m well aware kids have no filter. But structuring your life around avoiding giving offense to people who are, at best, deeply confused is misguided.

I didn't say OP should do that. I just think that one should bear it in mind, so that they are prepared for potential consequences. Knowledge is power, and all that.

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