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Culture War Roundup for the week of November 21, 2022

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She can only assume that I carry a gun because I'm a violent man, that I put it on her coffee table as an implicit threat to her, that I went to the bar that night with the intention of finding a woman to rape or murder, that my current calm and natural friendly demeanor means that I'm not just a violent man but a total sociopath who enjoys violence, she calculates quickly that her best chance of getting out of this alive is to do whatever I want, to overperform and hope I spare her life.

This is basically just Dennis's implication process right? Only unintentional. There is an implication of danger (the gun, or being on the open ocean with no way to escape). Given that men are generally bigger and stronger than women, an interpretation would be, that the implication is always there, the nowhere to run or possession of a gun just makes it more text and less subtext, perhaps.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=-yUafzOXHPE

Dennis: We’ve gotta pop by the department store, pick up the mattress. I’m gonna get a nice one too.

Mac: The what? The mattress? What do we need a mattress for?

Dennis: What do you mean what do we need a mattress for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? The whole point of buying a boat in the first place is to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside, so we can take em to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know… they can’t refuse. Because of the implication.

Mac: Oh, uh… okay. You had me going there for the first part. The second half kind of threw me.

Dennis: Dude, dude, think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. “Ahhh, there’s nowhere for me to run. What am I going to do? Say no?”

Mac: Okay… that seems really dark.

Dennis: Nah, it’s not dark. You’re misunderstanding me bro.

Mac: I think I am.

Dennis: Yeah, you are. Because if the girl said no, then the answer is obviously no.

Mac: No. Right.

Dennis: But the thing is she’s not going to say no. She would never say no. Because of the implication.

Mac: Now… you’ve said that word, “implication” a couple of times. What implication?

Dennis: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Not that things are going to go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will.

Mac: But it sounds like she doesn’t want to have sex.

Dennis: Why aren’t you understanding this?

Mac: I don’t…

Dennis: She doesn’t know whether she wants to have sex with me. That’s not the issue.

Mac: Are you going to hurt women?

Dennis: I’m not going to hurt these women!

Mac: Oh okay.

Dennis: Why would I ever hurt these women?

Mac: I don’t know.

Dennis: I feel like you’re not getting this at all.

Mac: I’m not getting it.

Dennis: God damn... (looks over at woman shopping nearby) well don’t you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn’t be in any danger.

Mac: So they are in danger!

Dennis: No one’s in any danger! How could I make that any more clear to you? Okay. It’s an implication of danger.

Mac: (Stares silently at Dennis in response)

I always see people, even on the Motte, talk about how women are constantly fearing that they're at risk of getting the killed if they don't comply with men. Then they go along and do everything they think the men wanted them to do (based on no concrete evidence), and then blame men for their own stupid, interpolated to the nth degree, actions. Often, they even blame individual men who didn't intend anything in the first place.

I can't stand this. Men are not mind readers, and most men are not bad people who would take advantage of women like this. At some point, we have to say that the woman was irrational, and wrong to blame innocent men for her own decisions. If someone is terrified about something with no evidence, and they act based on their fear, they don't get to blame random people that they've projected their fears onto.

If someone is terrified about something with no evidence, and they act based on their fear, they don't get to blame random people that they've projected their fears onto.

Is there no evidence? I would suggest that the OP and Dennis are correct. There is an implication, always. And if you are weaker than the other person then it likely behooves you to consider that at all times. They cannot know if the person will act on said implication or not, but it should be factored in to the assessment. Social behaviors are not decided on an individual basis but a group one. No point in pretending that isn't true I feel.

You cannot blame someone else for something they aren't even cognizant of.

For the Dennis skit, he is relying on the woman modelling his behavior given the vulnerable position she is in. He won't do anything if she says no, but he understands that she doesn't know that and so counts on that to change her behavior. It's hard to prove as rape but it is certainly manipulative.

Now imagine Mac as FiveHourMarathon mentions below does exactly the same things as Dennis but cluelessly. Is he innocent of rape or attempting to manipulate? Absolutely. But should he have known of the implication and therefore taken steps to avoid putting the woman in that position? Maybe. It depends on whether a reasonable person should.

I think most men know that if you are sharing an empty subway station late at night with a woman, and you are the only two there, that walking up and standing right behind her, even innocently is likely to make her nervous. If you do it anyway, you're not breaking the law, you shouldn't be arrested, but you are probably being a bit of an asshole.

Learning the social conventions and being cognizant of them is a duty of members of society. For the obvious ones, failing to learn them certainly is blameworthy. It's pretty much the most important thing to learn. They are the rules of the road for society. Just as I shouldn't drive without learning the rules, and if I hit someone because I blow through a Stop sign because I didn't know what it means it is still on me.

Just as I shouldn't drive without learning the rules, and if I hit someone because I blow through a Stop sign because I didn't know what it means it is still on me.

That's a terrible analogy. The equivalent to the current situation would be if a pedestrian saw someone driving and assumed that they were going to blow through a stop sign and hit them. So the pedestrian then ran into the street in the opposite direction to avoid the car, because they were terrified of getting hit, and then they subsequently got hit by another car, or something.

And then blamed the first driver for driving like they were going to blow through the stop sign. And a big chunk of society then goes "yeah come on man, you should know better than to drive like you are going to blow through a stop sign!"

Also nobody actually explains how you avoid driving like you are going to blow through a stop sign - except for stuff like don't go too fast and start slowing down well before the stop sign - and when the first driver shows video proof he did that, that chunk of society offers sympathy but immediately forgets anything happened and insists the next driver who didn't blow through a stop sign is still somehow to blame.

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I feel the same. Now that we have decent traffic and road data, and decent computers in cars I have always quietly wondered why we don't make cars that can only go the speed limit. Like if it's a 70 zone, the car tops out at 70 (adjusted for external factors like wind and slope and so on), with maybe a toggle (push the accelerator pedal sideways or something) to go faster for emergencies. I have to wonder it quietly though, because I mentioned it to my dad (a car enthusiast) once and he looked like the only thing stopping him from murdering me on the spot was our genes.