The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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One of my problems in general, but certainly when it comes to self improvement/wellness is trying to do too much at once. For example, here is my list of goals for this month:
• Chores spreadsheet
• 400k words read Spanish
• 2 substack posts
• Read 3000 pages total (~100/day, roughly 8-10 books).
• 4 Spanish gramar exercises
• Up 3k spanish Anki cards, 500 italian Anki cards
• 300 minutes of meditation total (average 10 min/day)
• 20 days fap free
• Swim 4 days a week
• Build to 50 miles a week running
• Savings rate of at least 20%
This + goals at work seems to overwhelm me. Are there specific goals in this list that you think I should focus on? Things that I should cut? Is there a better way to approach goal setting in general?
I hate running and used to run on a team so I know I hate it. But if you're fap free and young you'll need that physical exertion/exhaustion as a counterbalance. I think all these are fine though I don't know what Chores spreadsheet might have on it. I hate spreadsheets of that sort (I prefer a legal pad, or just doing the goddam chore) but whatever. I'd also in addition to these add something about being social. All of these sound very solitary. Fit in real life people.
Chores spreadsheet basically just means doing my chores on time. I've got stuff like changing kombucha and yoghurt cultures and dusting/vacuuming that have longish time horizons that would be better if I spread them out, hence the spreadsheet.
Hard core.
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Which of the goals actually matter to you? I would try to focus on one category of thing and then do that.
Swimming 4 days a week is a realistic goal, 50 miles a week, maybe not unless you're that one guy who runs in this forum, I think it was Walterodim? It would have to be your main hobby. If you don't already run, 9 miles a week will already be a lofty goal. But my real advice would probably be to try swimming one week and then running one week.
These days I find Anki exceedingly burdensome and increasing my already huge screen time, so I would cut that new card count down quite a bit, or at least to just one language. Learning two similar languages is a bad idea, it's generally suggested to stick to one that you focus on. Wait, you're trying to learn 100 Spanish words a day? That's probably not going to go well no matter how devoted you are. Why not try 20? Or 40 if you're really bold. And pick Italian or Spanish. I like learning languages too, but I've really fallen out of it lately. Sad!
Substack posts seem like a waste of time unless you're really trying to make a career out of it, in which case you might cut the rest of this list and do just that. If you have subscribers, I guess keep the goal.
Reading in both Spanish and then also having an English reading goal at that size is kind of a lot, too. Cut both of the numbers down until they reach numbers that aren't dizzying.
Masturbation abstinence doesn't seem that worthwhile to me, but maybe it is... crucially, it is not something you have to spend time on, so go for it. The Day 21 orgasm will feel amazing.
I don't know what your savings rate means. If it's about cutting down spending, that's a great goal and one you should keep for every month, forever.
The thing is all of them matter to me, although I guess I have to think about prioritization
50 miles a week is my "normal" mileage, although I haven't been up there for about 4 months because of injuries. I'm at about 35 right now so this is doable. 50 probably will take about six hours total. I'm a very good runner (2:35 marathon, 4;17 mile) and decent swimmer so this should be fine.
I needed to add more context for the Anki stuff! When I say 3k spanish cards I mean get up to that total. I'm at 2700 right now. I'm at 405 with Italian so it would only be 400 extra cards total. And my Spanish is quite good now (I just took the B2 test), so I think I'm ready to add Italian.
I have about 100 (free) subs on substack. I think posting there helps me think more clearly (as does here, but there's not a possibility of being paid for being a motte poster!
I should have also clarified about the reading. The Spanish and English reading are combined, so any reading I do for Spanish counts towards both goals. 400k words is about ~1600 pages, so this would be about half of my total goal!
More negative goals might be a good idea too (quit this, limit that). I have a soft goal of only watching one YouTube video a day. Hopefully this will save me some time.
Savings rate means save at least 20% of my take home income for the month. Basically means cutting down on spending.
Thanks for the feedback!
Well, then! I guess those are more achievable than they sounded. Now I guess it's up to whether you actually have enough free time and willpower to do them all. If you have 8 hours and don't spend much time cooking/eating dinner or on hygiene or on other pursuits, then probably possible. If you have 4 hours after work and after your PhD efforts, and you have those other pursuits to contend with, maybe not. I can't tell you what you should value more, though to be honest, reading this site and others are a huge sink on my time, personally, so cutting those out would give me a huge boost to doing more stuff without having to cut much important. Anyway, you can do it!
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