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Culture War Roundup for the week of June 9, 2025

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If you've been on twitter in or around the tpot space the last few days, you may have seen Aella blowing up and deciding to go private. I won't recount the whole story, but it is in screenshots in the link earlier.

Suffice to say, apparently she searched her name and saw a ton of vitriolic attacks and discussions around her online presence. She claims that the worst part is the "overwhelming hate with nobody defending me. People are ashamed publicly to support me, they don't want to be called a simp or cringe."

Long story short she basically said that she is heartbroken, is "so sad the world is shaped this way," and decided to quit twitter and go locked for the foreseeable future.

For some quick background, aella is a prostitute. She is extremely successful, and has built up a huge presence on twitter as well as a cult following in rational spheres. She does data science work as well, and claims to be autistic. She is polyamorous and openly promotes and campaigns for that lifestyle, as well as doing drugs. Some of her stunts include things like tattooing her name on the body of men who have sex with her, having orgies while sharing details of who got to get in, etc.

A few darker claims are that she pushed her two younger sisters into sex work (one of them, by her own admission on twitter, was doing camgirl jobs before she turned 18.) She has also said some... problematic things that are edging around support for pedophilia, although she's canny enough not to come right out and say it.

Now as I'm sure many people here agree with, I don't exactly agree with aella's views or lifestyle. That being said I am still torn, the world is a cruel place. At the same time, aella has probably caused harm to a lot of others with her lifestyle and especially her approach to promoting it online.

This equivocation points to an actual underlying tension/confusion I have around liberal expression. On the one hang I think polyamory, sex work, and some of the.... encouragement aella has around minors watching point &c is quite bad, and should not be allowed to happen in the public square. I think a certain amount of shaming is absolutely good and necessary.

However, perhaps I'm frail hearted or something because it does hurt to see so many attack her so viciously, when they clearly have so much hate in their hearts. Perhaps it's Pollyannaish but I wish that we could do our shaming in a more dignified, and less clearly antagonistic way. It seems that most of the people shaming her, from my read at least, clearly enjoy looking down and judging someone harshly, seeing themselves as better than her. From my perspective, that's not just as bad as what she's doing, but still bad.

I'm wondering, I suppose, whether there's a way we can employ shame in a truly good way as a society? Can we somehow shame people without turning into monsters ourselves, in order to protect our children and especially young girls from (imo) degenerate and overall unhealthy lifestyles?

from "how and why to be ladylike (for women with autism)":

when you’re sexually attractive to a man you’re talking to, it hijacks some of his attention, and it’s not easy for him to wrest it back. ... the thing is he won’t really mind when he feels like you might be having sex, but if it ever becomes clear that that’s definitely not happening, then frequently the tool he will use to wrest some of his hijacked attention back from you, is feeling negative feelings about you. another aspect is that he might feel that he could never hijack attention in the same way, that he could look good but what you are doing to him is something he’s incapable of–so the easiest, most available go-to negative is resentment, which is very poisonous. people don’t like feeling manipulated unreciprocally without payoff.

and that is very similar to the dynamic I see going on with Aella and the ex-rat diaspora here, and other places. I see a burning, seething resentment far in excess of what she's actually said or done. For this particular stunt, I think Amadan is probably right and it's at least half an act, but nevertheless, I think people should try and cool their emotions about her. - just chill? Live and let live.

As someone on twitter said: (can't be bothered to go find it) "Aella is what first-principles thinking actually looks like". That's what is so great about her. If that lead her to heroic quantities of LSD, a high body count, and an unorthodox bathing schedule.. well, so be it. She has honest to god genuine curiosity. Yes, often wrapped in attention-bait trolling, but curiosity nonetheless. I don't follow her, but I'm always pleased when some article or tweet of hers comes down the feed challenging a taboo that no one else will touch. Agree with her or not, one Aella is more valuable than a thousand haters shouting "boo! whore!"

Are you suggesting that the only reason people find Aella annoying is because they find her sexually desirable but know that they will never get this, they will never get this?

First off, textbook Bulverism. Second: I can't speak for everyone here, but I'm not attracted to people who smell bad, and even if she showered every day, she's not my type.

"If a man appears to dislike you, the only possible explanation is that he's mad because he knows he'll never get to fuck you" strikes me as both as a transparent cope and far more "objectifying" towards women than most comments I've made which have resulted in this accusation being hurled at me. Sometimes straight men just find you annoying for the same reasons they'd find another man annoying.

Also while her rates are high, isn't her fan club by and large very high income? They could afford her if they wanted.